Old Glass Table

What you need to do is squash you genitals underneath you while you are sitting on a glass table and take a photo from below.

If you are in a customer service role, you can give it/send it to customers who are unbelievably stupid or rude as a way of letting them know how little you care about their issues.

A: "This guy says there is a blackout in his area and wants to know why his Internet isn’t working."
B: "Send him the Old Glass Table and tell him to wait 30 minutes before his Internet will come back on."

by OldGlassTable November 10, 2009

Farm to table (FTT)

Tossing ones salad.

She keeps it fresh with minty butt wipes because she loves when guys go farm to table (FTT).

by RileyCan April 19, 2018

pay under the table

Paying cash

Do you guys pay under the table ?

by Nxtv.jaay October 23, 2017

Table Zamboni

The silver metal "sweeper" shaped in the form of a razor fish shell. In a fancy restaurant, the waiter will use this to pick up crumbs between courses.

Waiter pulls out the table zamboni.
Customer: "What the hell is that thing?"
Waiter: "It's a table zamboni."

by Hannahcupcake November 22, 2009

cock table

A device that is able to consume a cock and/or envelop a cock. Normally used for masturbation or intense homoerotic intercourse.

That girl Kelsey sure is a cock table. I went right into her and she didn't even notice!

by Gary Coleman IV June 17, 2008

table texting

When you covertly text message with someone in your immediate vicinity because you don't want other people in the area to hear what you're saying.

My girlfriend and I were out to dinner and we started table texting about the stupid people sitting next to us.

by osco50 August 1, 2008

table

Table is another word for disabled. This definition comes from the Howard Stern show when Crackhead Bob is talking about leaving the state. He says "I'm disabled" and Howard thinks he said, "I'm a table".

"Don't smoke crack, I did, and I'm a table."

by laura24ld January 14, 2008