Jesus wept

A rather sarcastic turn of phrase showing an unsympathetic attitude towards a person.

- Some twat stole that garden my dad bought for a fiver.
- Oh how Jesus fucking wept.

by Billy-Bob McSanchez April 6, 2005

Zombie Jesus

Reoccurring character on the web site www.rated-q.com. Character is a modified image of Jesus Christ that has been altered using applications available on an iPhone. Zombie Jesus is also referred to in posts where he does not actually appear.

"Did you see the post where Zombie Jesus is recruiting outside of the Olive Garden? Those guys are going to Hell!"

by Rhett Dangler April 4, 2010

jesusfreak

A highly obnoxious person who never shuts up about Jesus, God, church, or any combination of these. They constantly try to convert people to their religion, and often mistake politeness as an agreement to join their cultish Jesus-freak ways.

A common trait in Jesus Freaks is their total lack of interest in actually following the morals and such of their own religion, even though they pretend to (i.e., lying, adultery, etc). They also believe that Jesus and God make everything better, and anything negative in their lives must be pinned on Satan.

Of course, they only use God and Jesus and religion as a crutch because they can't handle the harsh reality that is called life.

Jesusfreak: I was reborn in Christ, and now everything is magically better!

Not-Jesusfreak: ...I don't believe in God, jesusfreak.

Jesusfreal: Get thee away, SATAN!

(Bible verse-quoting and holy water-throwing ensues.)

by Moo Moo Muffin June 27, 2008

jesus tits

expression of shock

"jesus tits, that womans got a big rack!"

by Anonymous February 10, 2003

jesus awesome

the opposite of god awful

That pizza was jesus awesome.

by II VeZ II January 11, 2009

jesus loves you

When someone that shares the same faith as you but has absolutely no intention of helping you nor wants to get invloved with your personal problems. Also is a typical expression used by overly churched individuals who are incapable of giving a real heart to heart advice.

Isaac: Dude whats wrong
Josh: Man my dog just got run over by a semi truck
Isaac: Im sorry man but umm hey! Jesus loves you!
Josh: uh? thanks?

by jordannnnharts September 24, 2010

Jesus Chain

A Jesus Chain Is A Cross With A Chain THat You Wear Around Your Neck.

"I Forgot To Wear My Jesus Chain"
"I Got A Jesus Chain For My Confirmation"

by Brandon Harripersaud July 26, 2006