catholic church 

The Catholic Church refers to the main Christian body of believers following the teachings of Jesus Christ. The Catholic Church is made up of laity and clergy. The clergy are ministers ordained through Apostolic succession (successive ordination of ministers since the time of the apostles). The are three types of ordination: Bishop, Priest, and Deacon. The bishop is the 'local ordinary' of an area of the Church (e.g. Philadelphia). The priests are the bishops aids in the church and the deacons assist the priests. The Catholic Church is very vocal in it's opposition to contraception, abortion, non-marital sexual behavior and unbridaled consumerism. It claims as it's source of revelation the Old and New Testaments and Sacred Tradition, guided through the interpretation of the magisterium. Many false teachings have been promulgated in an attempt to destroy the Catholic Church. Included in these are: the nature of the Crusades, the actions of Pope Pius XII during WWII, that Jesus had children and the Church is trying to cover it up, and many more. To learn more about the Catholic Church seek out the Catechism of the Catholic Church or a number of other books widely available.

Catholic Church -- refers to an actually assembly of Catholics... the building in which Masses are held and the Eucharist is present.

I went to a Catholic Church last Sunday. The Catholic Church spoke out against contraception last week.

catholic church by Ben5516 November 11, 2008

catholic shuffle 

The act performed by an entity to address charges or allegations of inappropriateness by moving the accused from one place to another.

Did you hear about that Cardinal and what he did, right after it came out he did the catholic shuffle.

catholic shuffle by Remedyman March 23, 2010

catholic block 

A Sonic Youth song.

A mental phenomenon similar to writer's block, only the thing causing the block is the intense guilt that the catholic religion tends to instill in its followers. A person with a catholic block forgoes many corporeal pleasures out of fear of spiritual punishment.

"Do you like to fuck?"

"I've got a catholic block."

"I guess I'm out of luck."

catholic block by mike 3k gold August 18, 2005

Catholic Virgin 

Refers to a person, usually female, who will engage in sexual acts other than vaginal penetration of a penis. Vaginal penetration of a penis is "sex" and therefore evil--so to maintain "virginity", Roman Catholic Virgins will engage in manual, oral, anal, or anything else that isn't vaginal. Personally, I think it's a sign of serious hypocrisy.

"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. It's been one week since my last confession."
"Have you committed sins of the flesh?"
"No, I'm still a virgin."
***This penitent is lying: Manual, Oral, and Anal Sex are all SEX. It's right there in the titles!***

"I went out with this chick from St. Thomas Aquinas last night."
"Any action?"
"Hell yeah--she's Catholic so she took it up the ass! I fucking love Catholic virgins!"

Catholic Virgin by The Ripper January 9, 2005

Catholic Camp 

When one's friend goes away for a weekend and leaves you stranded with no hope drinking your sorrows away as s/he learns about God.

Oh gosh john went to catholic camp and I have no one to chill with.

Catholic Camp by USS PussyDestroyer69 November 12, 2014

Catholic Frot 

Rubbing fronts sensually, with one's pants on in order to maintain one's innocence.

Me and Daniel just had the sweetest hardest catholic frot on the sofa. We can go to church tomorrow with our heads held high.

Catholic Frot by Assbandit123456 November 28, 2019

catholic funeral 

Killing an an animal or person and then disposing of it poorly, such as dumping it over a hill.

I told the kids their dog went to a farm, but I really gave it a catholic funeral.

catholic funeral by Choir Boy 38 April 24, 2020