John McCain

The man that most anyone would agree should have won the republican presidential nomination in 2000, and would have been a far better president than George W. Bush. However, whether he would make a better president than Obama is highly debatable.

He is also a tough son of a bitch. He was shot down over Vietnam, took a bayonet to the groin, and was held (and tortured) for 5 years in a Vietnam POW camp. Don't nobody fuck with McCain.

Why didn't we get John McCain instead of Dubya?

John McCain by GAWII October 18, 2008

John McCain

Not the president.

John: Is John McCain the president?
Mary: NO!

John McCain by Qincy January 23, 2009

John McCain

1 something really old

My great great great great great great great uncle is a John McCain

John McCain by bobert hawke wendell smith xiv July 7, 2008

John McCain

Old. Very, very old.

Man, I can't believe we built this time machine and got it working! These dinosaurs are amazing! Look, it's a T Rex! And there's a velosoraptor! And there's a... oh, it's just John McCain.

John McCain by Pickled Pineapple July 6, 2008

john mccain

Pre 2000, a decent guy. Post 2000 a flipfloping political whore with bush's hand up his ass controling his every thought....which makes one wonder just where mccain's brain is.

John MCcain will lie to the religious right just like Bush did in order to get a job that pays $200,000 a year and then fuck the people that voted for him in order to become the United States first real dictator.

john mccain by kiobe June 2, 2007

John McCain

John McCain (Born June 19th, 2086) is an American politican, God and time traveling warrior.

John McCain was genetically engineered in an American Research Facility. Unlike normal humans, McCain contains bodily many organs which allow him to fly, shoot lasers from his eyes, and amass incredible amounts of strength. McCain's skin produced a special layer of transparent nacho cheese, allowing him to time travel without damaging his body or the space time continuum.

McCain attended West Point, where he killed fitty Notre Dame fans at a football game. Because he was soo cool, President Jack Lambert granted him a pardon, and made him Secretary of keeping it real. While there, we was deployed on a secret mission to infiltrate the Soviet Union III. While there, he stripped the sacred burrito from the hands of Josef Stalin and ran it for a 50 yard touch down return. As McCain devoured the burrito, he became immortal, and banished the ghost of George W. Bush from existence with his mind.

As McCain returned to the United States, he was promoted to Arch Duke of Arizona. While there, one of his servants, Adolf Hitler traveled to 1902 and managed to take over the world. Because Adolf was not certified to do this, s a rip in the space time continuum began to slowy destroy the world. McCain warped back to past in pursuit of Hitler, and pwned him. As McCain was about to put Hitler in the Scorpion death-lock, Hitler managed to throw Sand in McCain's eyes and ran away to Germany.

While he was in the past, he killed twenty fundamentalistsand made thier children eat his shit. Never the less, McCain's battle with Hitler had drained his powers, leaving him incapable of escaping from the past for awhile.

While in old Arizona, McCain killed an entire family with his toes, and seized thier home. While claiming residency there, McCain went to war, won a bunch of medals, became a hero, scored with a bunch of really hot girls, and eventually became senator. In 1982, McCain's powers had fully recharged. Although he was eager to return back to the year 21st Century, he realized that he needed to stay, and protect Nachos and porno.

After forseeing the Notre Dame Football team taking over the world, McCain, Thurgood Marshall, and Brian Urlacher traveled forward in time (because all of them pwned they didn't have to worry about all that space time shit). While in the future they struck down all the Notre Dame players, who were armed with Uzis, usinh only their bare hands. Following thier victory, they went back to the present, and smoked up with Zakk Wylde.

John McCain will slash, and gash and cut yo Ass

John McCain by kodiac1 July 6, 2006

John McCain

Definition unavailable, please see old.

John McCain is old. He is also running for President. People make political jokes about his age. Lawls ensue.

John McCain by Ho'nique D June 25, 2008