hesturbate 

twiddle the bean or jack in an unusual manner, with thoughts of doing something particularly dirty that is not always associated with sex. Masturbation that is a mixture of very perverted and very funny. Often punctuated by Ha! This word has become popular on porn boards, and is derived from Hester, wearer of the scarlet letter.

"I imagined you shoving that evian bottle in your cooch, and I had to go hesturbate"

hesturbate by Olivia Yearns November 10, 2008

Hoesturbate 

Hoesturbate: When a hoe appears to be masturbating.

Holy Shit! Look at that girl hoesturbate!

Hoesturbate by Gummy Kitten September 1, 2021

resturbate 

To relax by masturbating.

Let's head back to the house, resturbate, then predrink for the party later.

resturbate by Schrodinger Penguin December 26, 2010

hasturbate 

to masturbate while under the hallucinogenic effect of opioids

Dude 1: that new VR porn is so realistic! It took me to all kinds of places besides the bedroom.
I remember surfing the pacific, wrestling some hobos, going down on Danny Devito and punching a puma!
Dude 2: umm I was using the VR headset last night....
Dude 1: Oh...I may have just done a whole heap of heroin instead
Dude 2: .....
Danny Devito: next time you hasturbate fella leave me out of it!
Dude 2: bet he didn't complain last night! (high fives dude 1)

hasturbate by GozUnlimited July 27, 2016

hatesturbate 

The act of masturbating to someone you hate. The homely person's hate-fuck.

Dude, that Tila Tequila is one nasty, anti-semitic piece of trash but I will definitely hatesturbate to her porn later.

hatesturbate by Prestige Johnson January 24, 2014

Hosturbating 

The act of women cleaning themselves like a cat.

"So, I was just relaxing in the hot tub, and there they were: the entire female yoga class Hosturbating!"

Hosturbating by AgentYang May 15, 2013

testurbate 

To masturbate before an exam, usually to calm ones nerves and be able to take the test in a post fap clarity.

Person 1:Alright dude, let's head out so we can get to our bio final on time.

Person 2:I'm feeling a little nervous, gonna testurbate first. Go on and I'll catch up with you.

testurbate by kingbumii May 6, 2015