Turtle Shelling 

The art of hiding an erection while sitting and leaning one's upper torso at a 45 degree angle betwixt one's chest and lap. The owner of said erection then proceeds to arch their back in such a way that makes them appear to be sitting upright. This causes said erection to recede into the body causing a "turtle shell" effect.

"Dude, my Spanish teacher is so hot...she had me turtle shelling all class."

Turtle Shelling by JoPaGeRi.TBC January 2, 2009

Clam Shelling 

A medical procedure during which you put on a 15 lb lead cannonball shape module around your testicles to protect them from irradiation. While the procedure is quite cold and difficult to not pinch yourself, it is not that hard as long as you are not attempting to put your penis inside the module.

Patient: "Gahhhhhhhhhh. Phew, Nurse I swear to god this is so difficult, but I have finally completed the Clam Shelling!"

Nurse: “You...uh - you don’t …. uh … You don’t actually have to put your penis in it?”

Clam Shelling by Fearfulcat November 22, 2015

gut shelving 

Placing your fat beer belly on the back of a women during doggy style sex to relieve pressure on the knees.

Guy1: My knees have been killing me lately during doggy style coitus.
Guy2: You should really try gut shelving to relieve the pressure on your knees, mate.

gut shelving by ThatJO February 2, 2018

selfing 

the act of saying something ridiculous, with absolute self-righteousness behind it, only further proving how much of an idiot the person actually is.

can also be used as a verb - self'd

abowl4me is doing some selfing again on the green board.

selfing by grooveflapper October 21, 2007

top shelving 

taking a shit in the tank of a toilet. a tactic for getting back at terrible landlords

My landlord was being a real dick so I pissed on his sofa and now im top shelving him!!

top shelving by htownbound November 7, 2013

Selfing 

1. The act of pleasuring yourself. 2. Masturbating

"Where did Mike go with that porn magazine?"
"Oh, he's in the other room selfing"

Selfing by Essex Grub May 15, 2005

Shelping 

The act by a female of giving unsolicited advice despite the fact she has little or no knowledge of the topic about which she is advising. It is derived from the claim “SHE was only HELPING” and often proceeds mansplaining. At least one non-profit organization exists to help end shelping.

I was trying to focus on turning off the busted water line, but she wouldn't stop shelping so I could think straight.

Shelping by SeniorTravel.TV June 6, 2018