microsoft access 

An absolutly evil database programme, which serves no purpose other than driving you clinically insane at a remarkably quick pace.

Never used in the workplace, so it's ppointless to be taught how to use it in GCSE or A-Level IT.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH FUCK!!! Why won't it recognise this goddamn formula like a normal person?!?"

microsoft access by OD Smith March 29, 2005

Microsoft Works 

Um...no it doesn't.

"Microsoft Works is the world's greatest oxymoron."

Microsoft Works by johnson December 19, 2003

microsoft 

Noun. A small, flaccid penis.

Suzy was disappointed to see John had a microsoft.

microsoft by Lord_G September 27, 2017

Microsoft Wordjacked 

A) When you have a Microsoft Word document you need to edit but only have access to OpenOffice or WordPad.

B) When you need to edit Microsoft Word 2007 documents but only have access to Word 2003 (and no way to download the stupid compatibility pack).

(Dude 1) Dude, how am I supposed to edit this, it's a file full of windings!

(Dude 2) Gotta love it. Microsoft Wordjacked.

Microsoft Wordjacked by arrggggg May 15, 2009

Microsoft Office 

Unaffordable software that now can be obtained for free practically anywhere.

I couldn't afford microsoft office, so I downloaded it off limewire, stole it from school, and traded it for a lollipop with my friend at school.

Microsoft Office by thejamdude January 5, 2006

Microsoft Teams 

A synonym for pure pain of the soul. It is the impending suffering of all high school students across the planet. Everyone exposed to this horrific melancholic diabolical beast of an application will not escape without scars.

I am feeling a bit Microsoft Teams today.

Microsoft Teams by KELR04 February 9, 2021

This problem was caused by Windows. This program was created by Microsoft Corporation. Microsoft Corporation does not currently have a solution for the problem that you reported.

The most common, if not the only message you will see when linking to Microsoft's "solution pages" after using the error reportingfeature

Example: When my PC couldn't play music due to a "missing audio device error" I linked to this message screen.
So I went looking on message boards for similar issue and found one. The person posted about how Microsoft had nothing.
That forum entry was posted two YEARS before.

Me: Oh cool! I can just link to Microsoft's solution page! How convenient....

This problem was caused by Windows. This program was created by Microsoft Corporation. Microsoft Corporation does not currently have a solution for the problem that you reported.

Me: You've got to be kidding. Oh Cool! Windows has a built-in help program....

This problem was caused by Windows. This program was created by Microsoft Corporation. Microsoft Corporation does not currently have a solution for the problem that you reported. by Lig Na Baste January 16, 2008