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Hallmark Keepsake Ornaments
Small plastic trinkets, generally made in China, that are sold nearly year-round in Hallmark stores across America. These items are almost completely worthless, though many insist that they are extremely collectible. Though generally cheaply made, these ornaments have the power to cast a spell over those who buy them, often resulting in customers spending well over $600 to own each and every one (and then ending up storing them in an attic because NO ONE has enough room to hang them all). To perpetuate this madness, Hallmark executives formed a Keepsake Ornament Collector's Club, which has a surprisingly large number of members. For the low, low price of $25, members can choose two inherently ugly "club exclusive" ornaments and receive their very own paper membership cards. Then they have the option of buying other "club exclusive" ornaments that are sure to have great value to other rabid collectors in the future. Of course, what the executives do not want the public to know is that any "club exclusive" ornaments not sold by Christmas will be available to the general public.
Keepsake Ornaments are released every year in early July (at a sickening event known as "Ornament Premiere"), and remain up until well after Christmas. Hardcore collectors can start ordering them in early June, when the ornament catalogue (inappropriately titled the "Dreambook") becomes available in Hallmark stores. Sane people, of course, have learned to avoid the ornament premiere, thus sparing themselves from seeing the disturbing sight of a poor college student sweating in a Christmas sweater and passing out Christmas cookies when everyone else in the store is walking around in shorts and tank tops.
Keepsake Ornaments are released every year in early July (at a sickening event known as "Ornament Premiere"), and remain up until well after Christmas. Hardcore collectors can start ordering them in early June, when the ornament catalogue (inappropriately titled the "Dreambook") becomes available in Hallmark stores. Sane people, of course, have learned to avoid the ornament premiere, thus sparing themselves from seeing the disturbing sight of a poor college student sweating in a Christmas sweater and passing out Christmas cookies when everyone else in the store is walking around in shorts and tank tops.
Customer one: "I've been waiting for the Hallmark Keepsake Ornaments to come out all year!"
Customer two: "Oh yeah? Which ones did you get?"
Customer one: "ALL OF THEM!!"
Customer two: "All of them?! How much did that cost you?!"
Customer one: "Only, like, $800. That's WAY less than last year!"
Customer two: *passes out*
Customer two: "Oh yeah? Which ones did you get?"
Customer one: "ALL OF THEM!!"
Customer two: "All of them?! How much did that cost you?!"
Customer one: "Only, like, $800. That's WAY less than last year!"
Customer two: *passes out*
Hallmark Keepsake Ornaments by taekwondoangel1 July 19, 2009
keepsnake
a keepsnake refers to a person who is of low intellectual, moral, and social standards, and is willing to go to any length to become recognized, acknowledged, or validated.
Usually very loyal to the person giving the orders, and can be venomous, injurious, and evil to their intended target.
Michael Cohen was a keepsnake for Donald Trump
Usually very loyal to the person giving the orders, and can be venomous, injurious, and evil to their intended target.
Michael Cohen was a keepsnake for Donald Trump
Hey man, what about that guy who stole your car?
Well I guess I'm just going to have to send my keepsnake, Larry Low-crawl over to rattle his cage a little!
Well I guess I'm just going to have to send my keepsnake, Larry Low-crawl over to rattle his cage a little!
keepsnake by Dr. Spankenstein November 13, 2019
How bout dem knicks?
A phrase referring twoard the New York Knicks.
Its usually said to break an unplesent moment of silence.
Its usually said to break an unplesent moment of silence.
How bout dem knicks? by Flame060 March 28, 2005
Word of the Day on June 8, 2026
Power Couple
A relationship between two people who are equally as cool as each other. They are as individually awesome and fun to be around as they are when they are together.
Neither one depends on the other for their feelings of self worth- they know in their heart that they are just as valuable to the world as the other. Good looking, optimistic, and sparks a light in the world that people recognize that goes beyond a normal relationship.
In a power couple, if one person is flawed, the other person makes up for their weaknesses in strength. Together they are the epitome of what anyone would desire in a relationship. They encourage goodness in the world and make it a better place by being together.
Neither one depends on the other for their feelings of self worth- they know in their heart that they are just as valuable to the world as the other. Good looking, optimistic, and sparks a light in the world that people recognize that goes beyond a normal relationship.
In a power couple, if one person is flawed, the other person makes up for their weaknesses in strength. Together they are the epitome of what anyone would desire in a relationship. They encourage goodness in the world and make it a better place by being together.
I'm a fan of those two, they are such a power couple, the epitome of what anyone would want in a relationship.
I am envious of them because they are a power couple.
I am envious of them because they are a power couple.
Power Couple by Pina28 May 23, 2012
Word of the Day on June 7, 2026