Definitions by schmuckaneers
after whore
1) When someone or something is so incredibly used this is the most extreme analogy you can use
2) A lifetime prostitute who is hitting her late 50s after a hard life of tobacco, alcohol and suntanning.
2) A lifetime prostitute who is hitting her late 50s after a hard life of tobacco, alcohol and suntanning.
Those bikes they rent at that shop are so used- don’t rent them - they are worn out worse than an after whore out in Reno.
after whore by schmuckaneers October 18, 2018
hot-tistic
When someone completely loses all social interaction skills when around someone very hot. Similar to autistic, but only around attractive people.
Guy 1: Dude, what is up with you? You are such a social retard around hot chicks. I swear you are hot-tistic. I am not going to be your wingman ever again.
Guy 2: Sorry, I know, it sucks. They are just so hot all I can do is stare at their boobs and then I get caught looking and then I get embarrassed and then I can't be funny and then I start worrying and then it just gets worse from there.
Guy 1: Stop talking. I don't care.
Guy 2: Sorry, I know, it sucks. They are just so hot all I can do is stare at their boobs and then I get caught looking and then I get embarrassed and then I can't be funny and then I start worrying and then it just gets worse from there.
Guy 1: Stop talking. I don't care.
hot-tistic by schmuckaneers October 12, 2009
obnoxious compulsive
Ben: I am so sick of Tracy, its always something with her. "Did you get the report done yet? Does it always have to be so cold in here? I am having work issues with Margie that you need to fix."
Tom: I really hate obnoxious compulsive people too. We should move them all to an island somewhere.
Tom: I really hate obnoxious compulsive people too. We should move them all to an island somewhere.
obnoxious compulsive by schmuckaneers September 26, 2009
moob job
A recent conference on plastic surgery trends revealed a 44% rise in moob jobs between 2007 and 2008 making it the fifth most popular plastic surgery for men in england.
moob job by schmuckaneers September 19, 2009
breads
When someone has dreads, but they are balding as well. This invariably leads to a poor cosmetic outcome, the wearer usually looks like a washed up hippie yoga instructor.
Andy: Did you see Mike? I haven't seen him in a while, his dreads have really started turning into breads. It looks horrid.
Pok: Ouch-at some point, you gotta let go of Jamacia, and say hello to middle age.
Pok: Ouch-at some point, you gotta let go of Jamacia, and say hello to middle age.
breads by schmuckaneers August 25, 2009
ballous
pronounced "baa-lous" - a contraction of the words Butt and Callous. A term describing the desensitization of the butt and groin that comes with sitting on a bicycle seat for extended periods. Without a proper ballous, cycling for long durations becomes extremely painful.
Floyd: Man- those guys on the Tour De France are impressive. They can ride for hour after hour on those crazy hard seats!
Greg: I know, I wish I had a ballous like that- I was riding last weekend and after several hours, I hurt so bad I couldn't sit anymore, but my legs were too tired to stand- It was like some medieval torture device!
Greg: I know, I wish I had a ballous like that- I was riding last weekend and after several hours, I hurt so bad I couldn't sit anymore, but my legs were too tired to stand- It was like some medieval torture device!
ballous by schmuckaneers July 21, 2009
fauxtique
When something is cheaply constructed, made in china 3 months ago, but is "aged" to look like a real antique. These items are easy to purchase at pier one or other mid to lower end "import" stores.
Colin: Hey did you see Dave's new place? He just got a bunch of stuff from that mall store that sells cheap imports.
Paul: I don't see why that guy thinks buying all those fauxtiques is gonna make his place look good. He has brass plated elephants for crying out loud.
Colin: I know, its horrible. It looks like the best western "safari experience" theme hotel.
Paul: I don't see why that guy thinks buying all those fauxtiques is gonna make his place look good. He has brass plated elephants for crying out loud.
Colin: I know, its horrible. It looks like the best western "safari experience" theme hotel.
fauxtique by schmuckaneers June 29, 2009