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testicular matrophy

The slow decay of your manhood after years of matrimony.
I don't know what's wrong doctor. I never get to go out with my friends anymore or watch the game on the weekend. We’re always doing things with my wife’s friends. We joined a book group and go clothes shopping together. Hmm, sounds like a severe case of testicular matrophy to me.
by rpcgal September 4, 2013
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Valet Shoes

The 5 inch heels your date wears on a night out which also means she’s not walking from the parking garage and you’re paying the valet.
When getting ready for a night out, my wife said, you know I can't walk in these, but I’ll wear the valet shoes, we’re going straight to the club and you’re paying someone to park the car.
by rpcgal February 27, 2021
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Micro Mismanaged

When your boss is simultaneously micromanaging you and doing a poor job coordinating the project as a whole.
Even with two daily touch points scheduled for this project, no one could figure out what was being asked of them. I've never seen a project so micro mismanaged.
by rpcgal April 9, 2022
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Off-Season Beautiful

When you’re not one of the truly beautiful people, but enough so to qualify in the off-season.
My wife and were in Portofino, the waiter seated us at a seaside table where others walking by could see us. We thought that doesn’t usually happen. Then we realized the restaurant was mostly empty and it was the off-season, so while not truly beautiful people, we do qualify as off-season beautiful.
by rpcgal November 24, 2022
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Infectionery Treat

When a delicious treat gets covered with germs.
I sneezed while blowing out the candles on my birthday cake instantly turning it from a confectionary treat to an infectionery treat.
by rpcgal January 29, 2022
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Abdultery

When your spouse admires someone else's abs.
Last week I accused my wife of abdultery when I caught her admiring her personal trainer's abs. My attorney said it wouldn't stand up in court.
by rpcgal January 30, 2021
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#RunOnTheFrank

When a shortage of cocktail franks causes people to over-buy for the holiday season, leaving the shelves empty.
I was going to make piggies in a blanket for Christmas, then I discovered all the stores were sold out. I didn’t realize there was a #RunOnTheFrank.
by rpcgal November 24, 2022
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