rpcgal's definitions

Off-Season Beautiful

When you’re not one of the truly beautiful people, but enough so to qualify in the off-season.

My wife and were in Portofino, the waiter seated us at a seaside table where others walking by could see us. We thought that doesn’t usually happen. Then we realized the restaurant was mostly empty and it was the off-season, so while not truly beautiful people, we do qualify as off-season beautiful.

by rpcgal November 24, 2022

Abdultery

When your spouse admires someone else's abs.

Last week I accused my wife of abdultery when I caught her admiring her personal trainer's abs. My attorney said it wouldn't stand up in court.

by rpcgal January 30, 2021

Oldmansplaining

Mansplaining when done by a person of advanced age, typically on a non-PC topic, and at an increased volume.

My father started oldmansplaining to my daughter about the “girl” who worked for him. I just rolled my eyes and said, “too loud and that’s not a term people use any more”.

by rpcgal January 29, 2022

Infectionery Treat

When a delicious treat gets covered with germs.

I sneezed while blowing out the candles on my birthday cake instantly turning it from a confectionary treat to an infectionery treat.

by rpcgal January 29, 2022

Micro Mismanaged

When your boss is simultaneously micromanaging you and doing a poor job coordinating the project as a whole.

Even with two daily touch points scheduled for this project, no one could figure out what was being asked of them. I've never seen a project so micro mismanaged.

by rpcgal April 9, 2022

Petsplaining

The futile endeavor of explaining to your pets what they did wrong and expecting them to understand.

I explained to my puppy why it was wrong for him to pee on the carpet. Two hours later he peed on the carpet again. I should have realized petsplaining doesn’t work.

by rpcgal January 29, 2022

Fundred

A $100 bill you carry with you which can only be used to go on an adventure or do something unexpected for the pure pleasure of it. Fundreds are not allowed to be used to pay bills or similar expenses. Carrying a Fundred reminds you to be on the lookout for opportunities for fun.

My wife and I were at a Cars and Copters show at the local airport. It was $50 per person to go on a helicopter ride. We’d never been in a helicopter and since I had a Fundred with me, we decided to do it. It was Fundred well spent.

by rpcgal February 21, 2021