galloping gut rot

Violent, unpredictable and rather unpleasant bout of "Delhi Belly".
Sudden, malodorous and disconcerting onset of liquifaction of one's latest meal.

"We'd best leave now, sir, you have a bad case of galloping gut rot."
"I know, but let me just sign this treaty, first."
(PM Tony Blair to President Bush, Circa 2004)

by mockschmock December 09, 2006

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fuck my hat, I didn't know that

Rhyming expression for use when you really didn't know something, and were maybe even the last person on earth to find out. Goes to show you really do learn something new every day.

'You mean you can't get pregnant by sharing a facecloth? Fuck my hat, I didn't know that!'

by mockschmock December 09, 2006

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Fuck me with a ragman's trumpet

Expression of surprise, quite long but effective at getting all the surprisedness out in one breath. For 'ragman' think Steptoe/Sanford & Son. Aha.

'Well fuck me with a ragman's trumpet. There IS a Santa.'

by mockschmock December 09, 2006

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buggering arseholes

Expletive to be used when a simple "Shit!" just won't cut the mustard.

Oh buggering arseholes, I've sent the porn subscription to Aunt Mabel and the get well soon card to Paul Raymond Publishing.

by mockschmock December 14, 2006

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jehovah's twitness

a door darkener who wants to spread the dubious good news about Jehovah, but doesn't have enough mental processing power to sustain an argument about it.

I just had a jehovah's twitness at the door - he was thick as pig shit and twice as smelly so I slammed the door on him.

by mockschmock December 15, 2006

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