masochistmonkeyjoe's definitions

garglejob

this is a type of oral sex in which the performer keeps the penis in their throat during orgasm and gargles the semen around the end of the penis

Well, Mr. McDonald, if you want a garglejob you'll have to pay extra. I usually have to drink a whole 6 pack to clean all of the ejaculatory fluid out of my throat.

by masochistmonkeyjoe February 18, 2009

shitpants excited

this is a level of excitation that results in folks shitting their pants.

it is generally a hyperbole/exaggeration in that one does not ACTUALLY shit in their pants.

Bobby was shitpants excited over his date with his hot slutty cousin that night.

Tina always gets shitpants excited when she hears about a new family guy episode on TV.

by masochistmonkeyjoe March 19, 2010

mud pickle

a turd. so called due to its shape and color.

I dropped a mud pickle or 2 into the hole before burying it.

Elaine hates walking her dog because she always has to pick up his mud pickles.

by masochistmonkeyjoe November 14, 2007

Nightshades

n: sunglasses; esp. when worn at night and/or by a goth person.

Aren't Lady Skulltits' nightshades frightfully divine?

I wear my nightshades at night so I can so I can...

by masochistmonkeyjoe June 15, 2011

clitless

it's an adjective to describe a slutty article of clothing that reveals quite a bit of skin... it's a hyperbole based on "crotchless"

your mom left her leopard skin clitless catsuit at my house last night.

your dad was skanking around the mall in a pair of clitless leather shorts

by masochistmonkeyjoe May 2, 2008

fapmare

a combination of "fap" and "nightmare". a revolting/unsexy thought or situation that prevents you from being able to fap/achieve an erection/orgasm

Mike usually found some alone time while his wife was at work, but the fat,dead homeless man that he found in his computer room this morning was such a fapmare that he could never spank it in there ever again.

by masochistmonkeyjoe April 23, 2009

screwnicornhole

v. to strap a dildo to your head (like the horn of a unicorn) and to screw someone IN THE ASS (the cornhole)

Jim screwnicornholed Patsy up against the front door until she was screaming like a banshee.

After screwnicornholing Michael, Dawn had to wash the fudge and corn off of her headgear.

by masochistmonkeyjoe July 12, 2007