jonzo the weasel's definitions
A deadly threat to the nation. It was sent by unknown parties to assasinate George W. Bush. The attempt was nearly successful, but a bystander was cunning enough to employ the heimlich maneuvre, foiling the conspiracy. The said pretzel is now being held in maximum security in guantanamo bay as an enemy combatant.
by jonzo the weasel July 17, 2006
Get the Pretzelmug. A tv chanel that everybody loves to hate for "being corporate." It should be noted that those people are in shitty ass bands that would sell their souls to get on MTV and get a recording contract from a label that people actually care about. Features some of the worlds hottest chicks if you exclude that skanky washup britney spears and christina aguilewhateverthefuck. Imortalized by the line "I Want My MTV."
Nerd- I hate mtv, die die die.
Me- Dumbass, you just are bitter because a)your shitty band sucks so hard recording execs are afraid to touch it and b)the gorgeous girls on it remind you how sad your fat pimply pale "girl"friend is and coz 50 cent reminds u that u are asexually shaped? And if you don't like pop or blink182-i don't either-change the chanel or turn off the tv. geez, what a fuckwad.
Me- Dumbass, you just are bitter because a)your shitty band sucks so hard recording execs are afraid to touch it and b)the gorgeous girls on it remind you how sad your fat pimply pale "girl"friend is and coz 50 cent reminds u that u are asexually shaped? And if you don't like pop or blink182-i don't either-change the chanel or turn off the tv. geez, what a fuckwad.
by Jonzo the Weasel April 4, 2006
Get the MTVmug. The ultimate weapon when it comes to hand-to-hand combat. It can even be thrown like a tomohawk should your intended victim appear to be outrunning you. However, if there is a red taffic light nearby, simply smash the window of the first car, kill the guy inside it, drive up after the primary target, and while passing, swing the bat full-force at his head. A decapitation guaranteed
So you wanna be a hitman for fat Alfredo, skinny Lou? Awrighty, take out Stupid Gianni and Smelly Joe wit dis baseball bat
by Jonzo the Weasel January 22, 2006
Get the baseball batmug. A great frontman for legendary rock band Guns n' Roses. Thanks to his perfectionism and insufferable ego, he is the only member of the original band left in it. He also fucked the extremely hot Stephanie Seymour a bunch of times, though unfortunately for him his obnoxious personality messed that up too.
by Jonzo the Weasel June 11, 2006
Get the axl rosemug. One of the best bands to ever play. They continued the great hard rock tradition of AC/DC, Aerosmith, and Van Halen. In the classic lineup(Axl, Slash, Izzy, Duff McKagan, Steve Adler, and later Dizzy Reed), they recorded some of the greatest songs in rock.
They set themselves appart from the rest of 80's rockers because while they understood that rock n' roll is supposed to be a good time (unlike the teenage-angst "rockers" that pollute the airwaves today), they also had unbelievable amounts of talent. And you can like Guns n' Roses and Nirvana at the same time. The gunners weren't hostile towards Kurt; in fact, Duff and Kurt met on an airplane and were friendly with eachother.
Unfortunately, Axl Rose could behave like a jerk when he got pissed (which was alot). Lets see how you'd be if you were brought up in a fundamentalist home where your stepdad hit you from the age of 2 and kicked you out at age 16. Plus, he's manic-depressive. He still is a great talent and can be a nice guy sometimes. Though his facelift and dreadlocks were a couple of pretty bad choices.
Guns n' Roses never were rascist in their music. People who criticize One In A Million don't have clue what they're talking about. Axl has said that it was ABOUT the rascism and homophobia in America, not in favor of it. Besides, Slash is part black and part Jewish.
Fortunately, Izzy Stradlin and Axl have reconciled their differences, and at least that much of the Appetite for Destruction-era band may be reunited. When Chinese Democracy is released, the world will finaly get some real rock n' roll instead of mall rock.
They set themselves appart from the rest of 80's rockers because while they understood that rock n' roll is supposed to be a good time (unlike the teenage-angst "rockers" that pollute the airwaves today), they also had unbelievable amounts of talent. And you can like Guns n' Roses and Nirvana at the same time. The gunners weren't hostile towards Kurt; in fact, Duff and Kurt met on an airplane and were friendly with eachother.
Unfortunately, Axl Rose could behave like a jerk when he got pissed (which was alot). Lets see how you'd be if you were brought up in a fundamentalist home where your stepdad hit you from the age of 2 and kicked you out at age 16. Plus, he's manic-depressive. He still is a great talent and can be a nice guy sometimes. Though his facelift and dreadlocks were a couple of pretty bad choices.
Guns n' Roses never were rascist in their music. People who criticize One In A Million don't have clue what they're talking about. Axl has said that it was ABOUT the rascism and homophobia in America, not in favor of it. Besides, Slash is part black and part Jewish.
Fortunately, Izzy Stradlin and Axl have reconciled their differences, and at least that much of the Appetite for Destruction-era band may be reunited. When Chinese Democracy is released, the world will finaly get some real rock n' roll instead of mall rock.
Guns n' Roses are a talented, creative, authentic band that came from being poor and obscure to being world famous, back in the days before MTV went downhill.
by Jonzo the Weasel August 10, 2006
Get the guns n' rosesmug. Someone who, despite possessing physical characteristics and intellect of a nerd, has nicer personality, better hygeine, fewer enemies, and better grades because of their focus on school instead of the internet, sci-fi fan clubs, the lord of the rings, or matheletes. They rarely have close friends, but are respected by most and tend to be gennerally pleasant.
Bill Gates, Alan Greenspan, Warren Buffet, Albert Einstein, and this one kid in my biology class are all half nerds.
by Jonzo the Weasel January 10, 2006
Get the half nerdmug. A group of fucking liars who dragged John Kerry's name through the dirt on two false accusations:
1: "John Kerry never did anything heroic in Vietnam"
Acatually, John Kerry jumped off his swiftboat during a firefight to rescue a crew member who had falled overboard. And why don't you tell me about W's heroism while AWOL from the Texas Air National Guard?
2: "John Kerry betrayed his country"
Oh yeah? Let me tell you this. Out of concern for the troops being killed in Vietnam, John Kerry joined Vietnam Vets Against the War. John Kerry saw his country making a mistake and said so. That is patriotism. The "my country right or wrong" attitude is ignorance on par with medeival peasants.
1: "John Kerry never did anything heroic in Vietnam"
Acatually, John Kerry jumped off his swiftboat during a firefight to rescue a crew member who had falled overboard. And why don't you tell me about W's heroism while AWOL from the Texas Air National Guard?
2: "John Kerry betrayed his country"
Oh yeah? Let me tell you this. Out of concern for the troops being killed in Vietnam, John Kerry joined Vietnam Vets Against the War. John Kerry saw his country making a mistake and said so. That is patriotism. The "my country right or wrong" attitude is ignorance on par with medeival peasants.
Swift Boat Veterans for Truth sent out it's slanderous ads without the authorization of Bush? Bullshit.
by Jonzo the Weasel August 15, 2006
Get the swift boat veterans for truthmug.