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hedley Clubnobber's definitions

social worker

making lots of money out of people's misery. part of the burgeoning 'new professions class' of the late 20thC and usually a socialist, liberal or worse. social workers took over where the church left off. may know the difference between right and wrong but doesn't see why it should apply to them. a secular priest, monk or nun who enforces politically acceptable thought and behaviour on the hapless, helpless and hopeless. talks complete psychobabble with no scientific foundation whatsoever. often pilloried for taking children into care or leaving them to die; whichever the press find most distressing at the time. almost always an insecure individual who should be having therapy not giving it.
MALE of type tries to compensate for the low social status by talking complete bollocks at the pub.
FEMALE, usually a cat owner, likely to be crazy as a coot and in medieval times would have been burned as a witch.
SW MANAGER has generally failed even at this low level and so exacerbates the public's woes with incompetence in leadership.
most SWs try to avoid mentioning it at parties or face the prospect of further rejection. secretly support the British National Party.
social worker; 'As a social worker, I like to consider the full psycho-socio-sexual-ethnic dynamic in operation in any given situation or mele before drawing a tentative conclusion or proposal. I mean, I may not even go so far as to reach a conclusion, perhaps only hinting at a possible resolution, if that's ok with you?, which may in fact or actually not even be so certain as that. Is that wrong d'ya think?? I believe people should be allowed to live their own lives without interference from the state until we interfere. Failure is a negative concept and I don't like to use that word. However, the true answer may only ever be 'Yes'...or...'No' or...'Maybe'.... and it's never absolutely cl..'

normal person; 'Sorry to interupt. I'm afraid it's too late, the child / old person has been battered into the next life!'
by Hedley Clubnobber September 17, 2006
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EU

European Union; an organised hypocrisy of rapacious corporations, aristocrats and neo-catholics shepherding the mindless flock into Orwell's 1984. Modelled on plans set in place by one A. Hitler (popular Viennese painter and bon viveur; mid 20thC) then continued by every other Euro-demagogue since. Emblem on the EU Paliament, Goddess Europa riding a 10 headed beast. Nuff said! :(
EU taking you to Armageddon with style.
by Hedley Clubnobber August 27, 2006
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idea

Something which, if considered good, cannot ever be used in a democratic society, the plural of which can only be prevented by joining any major political party. Something which a 'chav' never gets but a human may have when staring down to the bottom of an empty beer glass.
a. 'That's a good idea, Prime Minister'.

b. 'You swine!'.
by Hedley Clubnobber August 27, 2006
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Oldham

Words will have to do....'Grim Up North' could've been written for this collection of stones. Nice on the outskirts but otherwise a sunami of chavness and thus a cultural wastland. It could indeed be the quintessential 'classless society' due to an extraordinary lack of style. Everything that socialism was meant to be! 'God-forsaken' would suggest the Almighty actually had been there once and so deliberately left it, which most authorities seriously doubt. A mix of Yorkshire rejects, Manchester overspill-uber-scum and the North Asian sub-continent. Market day reminding one strongly of the Orc army battle scenes in 'Lord of the Ringroads'.
Q. How do you know a girl from Oldham is having an orgasm?

A. She drops her chips.
by Hedley Clubnobber August 1, 2006
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Harvard

A place where you can pay $100k.p.a for an education you can get in any mid-west whorehouse for $50.
He's a Harvard Man therefore he is stupid and spends lots of money on his son's/daughter's miseducation. (Similar to Yale, Oxford or Cambridge institutions)
by Hedley Clubnobber August 27, 2006
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baghead

Term with which to affectionately chide one whose head, like a woman's handbag, contains everything and nothing all at the same time.
a. 'What are you up to now you baghead?'

b. 'I want a divorce'.
by Hedley Clubnobber August 27, 2006
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care in the community

British poitical euphemism for 'piss off, we don't give a toss'. Usually applied to the disabled, elderly and infirm; a pre-requisite to depriving them of their savings and homes via low standard services. Normal to associate this with abandonment, loneliness and despair. The natural end to the industrial revolution.
Bank manager 1. 'Care in the community would be a good idea'.

Bank manager 2: 'Yes, we must tell the government to do it and sink those needy bastards'.
by Hedley Clubnobber August 27, 2006
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