29 definitions by Hedley Clubnobber

idea

Something which, if considered good, cannot ever be used in a democratic society, the plural of which can only be prevented by joining any major political party. Something which a 'chav' never gets but a human may have when staring down to the bottom of an empty beer glass.

a. 'That's a good idea, Prime Minister'.

b. 'You swine!'.

by Hedley Clubnobber August 27, 2006

newport

Newport, South Wales, another chav hot-spot badly in need of a WMD. Sandwich filling between Bristol and Cardiff like a bug between a road and a shoe. The Romans abondoned the area around 410ad and the British Labour Party eventually took over, hence it remains a ruin. The river Usk flows through it and the M4 goes past it. Never stop or you'll lose your hubcaps. Scene of Chaterist Rebellion and the founding of the Trade Union Movement, so not all bad news. Nice on the outskirts.

Newport Highlights;
Ringland, Alway, Somerton & Duffryn council estates designed by 1960's graduate town planners on speed, now scenic backdrops to Mordor; Pil for the final volcano scene.
Everything-for-a-Pound Shops.
Splendind Transporter Bridge (now that is a work of engineering art)
The Steel Works (now abandoned too)

by Hedley Clubnobber August 27, 2006

anoesis

Pronounced 'a-knee-siss':apparently means 'an emotional response to something without understanding' and could be used to describe most British social, political and cultural activity in the 21stC.

a. 'He's just trashed my country!'

b. 'Yeh, he's showing anoesis but he may also be right'

by Hedley Clubnobber August 27, 2006

care in the community

British poitical euphemism for 'piss off, we don't give a toss'. Usually applied to the disabled, elderly and infirm; a pre-requisite to depriving them of their savings and homes via low standard services. Normal to associate this with abandonment, loneliness and despair. The natural end to the industrial revolution.

Bank manager 1. 'Care in the community would be a good idea'.

Bank manager 2: 'Yes, we must tell the government to do it and sink those needy bastards'.

by Hedley Clubnobber August 27, 2006

comp

British, sigular - short for 'comprehensive school'. State school system or chain of open prisons depending on whether you're a politician or actually live near/work in/ go to these shit holes. A process by which bright, intelligent, lively, inquisitive children are miseducated into sullen, stupid, violent, bored young adults ready for a life in front of the TV, so they can buy products for the rest of their lives until they die having accomplished....nothing.

Q. S/he's a complete moron. How did s/he get like that?

A. S/he went to a 'comp'.

by Hedley Clubnobber August 27, 2006

EU

European Union; an organised hypocrisy of rapacious corporations, aristocrats and neo-catholics shepherding the mindless flock into Orwell's 1984. Modelled on plans set in place by one A. Hitler (popular Viennese painter and bon viveur; mid 20thC) then continued by every other Euro-demagogue since. Emblem on the EU Paliament, Goddess Europa riding a 10 headed beast. Nuff said! :(

EU taking you to Armageddon with style.

by Hedley Clubnobber August 27, 2006

Caerphilly

Caerphilly; Lard-Central! A pleasant summer Saturday can be had watching various 'Valley-Go-Lightlies', 'Salad-Dodgers' & 'Chafers' mashing their way through burgers 'n pop, with tats in every place and a thong for every occasion. Almost as famous for a massive Norman castle, which Cromwell took a dislike to, so blew up. Local politicians refuse to repair it and it's now Wales' own leaning tower. Still, when sober, Valleys people are absoultely the best, which is a good job 'cause there's a lot of 'em size-wise. However, there's a high proportion of Chavs-on-benefits (can there be a Chav not on benefits?) so don't expect sparkling conversation!

Caerphilly High Culture:
A giant Caerphilly cheese outside the job centre.

Low Rollers:
Chavs, Chavs and more Chavs. Oh dear! When will someone rid us of these pestilent vermin?

by Hedley Clubnobber August 26, 2006