Definitions by gnostic3

retiree

n. Bored person anxious to fill your time with pointless anecdotes garnered from a factually suspect memory bank.

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Quick, feign death, a retiree on his daily walk through Bower Ponds has spotted us.

retiree by gnostic3 December 15, 2025

jaggering 

v. Chaotically lunging about a stage trying to recreate the magic of the past. Done by aging singers, politicians, tycoons etc.

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Why are Trump and Biden still jaggering? Give it a rest men.

jaggering by gnostic3 May 11, 2024

whoresplash 

n. Like a slutwipe but briefer. One attempts to wash one’s smelliest areas after a long arduous day of hiking in the wilderness and setting up camp many miles from soap, water, and privacy. Usually done in a sleeping bag at minus forty degrees.

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What are you up to Tyler? The tent is in danger of collapse!

Just having a whoresplash. I like to feel fresh before bed.

whoresplash by gnostic3 May 11, 2024

slutwipe

n. Brief, largely inadequate, method of bathing one’s dirty bits whilst tenting in the freezing cold wilderness miles away from soap, water, and privacy.

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Ready to hike up to that cwm Kay? The morning sun is just burning the frost off our hanging gloves.

In a mo. Just doing a bit of a slutwipe in me sleeping bag.

Right. Well I’ll just have a little dump in this recyclable bag.

slutwipe by gnostic3 May 11, 2024

parking 

v. Hiking through a variety of tough but beautiful National Parks in succession without bathing. A brief slut wipe now and again is, of course, acceptable.

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Kayley and I and her fiancee were engaged in some very hot parking last week.

Do tell. Did you happen to take any photos?

Hundreds!

parking by gnostic3 May 11, 2024

ad-mire 

n. A deep black sticky morass of adverts.

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The Superbowl broadcast is becoming a total ad-mire.

ad-mire by gnostic3 March 21, 2024

beclowning 

v. The act of making a person, often oneself, look unbelievably foolish.

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The President is once again beclowning himself.

And soiling himself.

beclowning by gnostic3 March 13, 2024