earpuller's definitions

cruise control creeping

the act of allowing an automobile to approach the car ahead because the driver has set his cruise control but is not paying attention to traffic conditions. the noun form of the phrase is "cruise control creeper."

while driving down a two-lane country road, i noticed in my rear view mirror a large foreign sedan approaching my car from behind. his speed was almost the same as mine, just a little quicker, so his approach was pretty slow. still, he kept on getting closer, until i could no longer see his front bumper. suddenly, just as i thought he was going to ram me, he swerved left and passed me at a rapid pace, glaring at me as he passed. he left me behind at the same slow rate as he approached me. i figured he was cruise control creeping, because he was gabbing on a cell phone. to avoid becoming a cruise control creeper myself, i reset my own cruise control and let the other car go about his merry way. after i flipped him off.

by earpuller November 6, 2007

Greenlighting

Among diecast car collectors, the term "Greenlighting" is rapidly catching on. It refers to activities related to the collecting of Greenlight diecast car models. Diehard fans join the "Under-The-Hood" club, a forum for zealous Greenlight enthusiasts which is very laid-back and a fun place for collectors of all types to just hang out and relax. Coined by a UTH member, falcongtho3, an active member of the club (there are over 1300 of us, and growing steadily.)

todd: so whatcha doin' tonight, dude?
rod: after work i'm going to the toy store to find some new models-everyone is releasing new diecasts in time for christmas.
todd: looking for anything in particular?
rod: Greenlights, of course! when i get home i'll log into the Under The Hood club to do some "Greenlighting."
todd: sounds cool! maybe i should check it out!
rod: no doubt!

by earpuller December 12, 2010

traffic clot

The tendency of slow-moving cars to converge and prevent faster cars from getting past. Much like a blood clot, the traffic clotcan cause serious trouble unless it is treated quickly. Even on a three- or four-lane freeway, a traffic clot can occur at any time, slowing down other motorists and leading to things like road rage.

ernie: sorry i'm late, buddy, but i was making great time on the tollway until i got caught behind a traffic clot.
bernie: oh man, those suck! how many old hyundais were there?
ernie: three, plus an old couple in an avalon, a civic with go-fast decals and a fart can exhaust, and five minivans.
bernie: they need a separate lane for traffic clots.
ernie: yeah, they could call it the "by-pass!!"

by earpuller July 29, 2008

owa tafah kingu fiam

say it really fast, that's the definition.

the old guy in the turban sat in the corner, chanting "owa tafah kingu fiam" over and over again. when i joined him, i understood it all.

by earpuller November 26, 2010

Human Resources

If a company is a house, then Human Resources is the septic tank; all the shit goes there. Human Resources, better known as HR, is the lowest place in a corporation's hierarchy, although they make themselves important by gaining the ability to control who works and who doesn't. To be a success in HR one must lose all trace of humanity and become a robot (becoming a whore is also advisable.) To paraphrase Willie Nelson,"mommas, dont let your babies grow up to be HR drones, don't let 'em be robots or whores or sluts, make 'em be robbers or car thieves and such....."

when i was a child, i thought like a child, but when i grew up and started working in Human Resources, i knew i had lost my soul, and to appease my new gods i fired my best friend, my girlfriend, my brother, an Iraqi war veteran with a silver star and a distinguished service cross, and the guy who saved me from drowning when i was a kid. what a good day's work!!

by earpuller December 2, 2010

poster's remorse

the feeling one may have just as he or she hits the "post" button at UD talk or on the UD wall. just like closing the barn door after the horse has fled!

gee, you'd think all these defs i've published, all the talk posts, and all the stuff i've written on the UD wall should have given me a severe case of poster's remorse........nah, screw 'em all!!!

by earpuller July 21, 2006

dilligas

an amusing acronym disguised as a silly word. Dilligas stands for "do I look like I give a shit?" You can say it to your parents, your kid sister, your maiden aunt, really anyone who is annoying you, but whom you do not want to anger.

eddie: So anyway, as I was saying, to make a long story short, in other words, as God as my witness, between you, me, and the fencepost..................
freddie: hey man, dilligas?
eddie: what's that supposed to mean?
freddie: do i look like I give a shit?
eddie walks away angrily, muttering to himself.
freddie smiles, thanking his good fortune at discovering UD.

by earpuller April 15, 2006