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earpuller's definitions

dilligas

an amusing acronym disguised as a silly word. Dilligas stands for "do I look like I give a shit?" You can say it to your parents, your kid sister, your maiden aunt, really anyone who is annoying you, but whom you do not want to anger.
eddie: So anyway, as I was saying, to make a long story short, in other words, as God as my witness, between you, me, and the fencepost..................
freddie: hey man, dilligas?
eddie: what's that supposed to mean?
freddie: do i look like I give a shit?
eddie walks away angrily, muttering to himself.
freddie smiles, thanking his good fortune at discovering UD.
by earpuller April 15, 2006
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poster's remorse

the feeling one may have just as he or she hits the "post" button at UD talk or on the UD wall. just like closing the barn door after the horse has fled!
gee, you'd think all these defs i've published, all the talk posts, and all the stuff i've written on the UD wall should have given me a severe case of poster's remorse........nah, screw 'em all!!!
by earpuller July 21, 2006
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mybabydaddy

noun: spoken as one word, meaning "my baby's daddy." Heard frequently on "Judge Joe Brown," "Judge Mathis," and "The Jerry Springer Show." Used by illiterate people of all races and ethinicities, although most prevalent among blacks. A similar word set is "mybabymomma," meaning "my baby's momma," of course. Variations in pronunciation include "muhbebbidaddy" and "mabaybuhsdadduh."
Judge Joe Brown: So, Ms. Federline, who takes care of your children while you're out streetwalking?
britney: wail, they be either wit mah momma or over to they daddy's house, yer Honor.
JJB: Your mother and who?
britney: mybabydaddy. We broke up when he found out I was gonna give him another bastard child for him to not support.
JJB: Y'all are pitiful and I've heard enough!! Case Dismissed!
by earpuller December 28, 2005
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beat 'n' defeated

a redundant phrase, since each word can mean the same thing. however, due to its rhyming scheme, it seems to be a more definitive way of saying someone or something lost.
beat-you lost the tennis match 6-4, 6-4, 6-3 to a very good opponent.

defeated-you lost your previous match 6-3, 6-2, 6-2 to an average player.

beat and defeated-your kid brother won a match against you 6-0, 6-0, 6-0 even though he had spent the last week sick in bed with the flu and he wasn't wearing his glasses. this, my friends, means you were beat 'n' defeated. soundly.
by earpuller November 6, 2007
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Human Resources

If a company is a house, then Human Resources is the septic tank; all the shit goes there. Human Resources, better known as HR, is the lowest place in a corporation's hierarchy, although they make themselves important by gaining the ability to control who works and who doesn't. To be a success in HR one must lose all trace of humanity and become a robot (becoming a whore is also advisable.) To paraphrase Willie Nelson,"mommas, dont let your babies grow up to be HR drones, don't let 'em be robots or whores or sluts, make 'em be robbers or car thieves and such....."
when i was a child, i thought like a child, but when i grew up and started working in Human Resources, i knew i had lost my soul, and to appease my new gods i fired my best friend, my girlfriend, my brother, an Iraqi war veteran with a silver star and a distinguished service cross, and the guy who saved me from drowning when i was a kid. what a good day's work!!
by earpuller December 2, 2010
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oxnard

1. a small city in California.
2. the genitals of a large, clumsy, male bovine.
3. just another word you can call someone to insult him.
1. Oxnard is near Los Angeles, at least when compared to San Francisco.
2. check out that dude! he's hung like an oxnard.
3. dude, you scratched the paint on my '87 prelude! now i've got to spend the day at MAACO! you fuckin' oxnard!
by earpuller November 22, 2010
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smegwaukee

noun 1: in general, a put-down for Milwaukee.
noun 2: specifically, in the early 80s (and for many years previously) Milwaukee had a unique, nauseating odor. It was a combination of brewery smells, general industrial funk, and the scent of dead alewives (a fish of some sort). Now the brewers are almost all gone (none are downtown anymore), most of the industries have cleaned up or moved away, and the alewives? Who knows!! Who cares!!
meaning 1-
guy from west alice-shit! I just got transferred to downtown smegwaukee!! fuck it, i'm moving to racine.
guy from creamfield (or creamdale)-don't forget kenosha!! That's where they used to make Ramblers.
meaning 2-
guy from snorewood: goin' to smegwaukee tonight?
guy from whitefolks bay: fuck that shit-i can smell that stuff just by lifting the toilet seat.
girl from fuquon-or by sniffing my snatch!!
guy from phlegmdale-ok, you're on, baby!!!
by earpuller September 27, 2005
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