neighbores

simply put, boring neighbors. people who think you really care about their lives when, in fact, you wish you could move somewhere far, far away just to get away from them.
lady next door:.....then she said.....just back from visiting my sister in Peoria.....couldn't find a thing in there.....new recipes for hamburger helper.....never buy a german car, my father always said.....(two hours later).....well, i can't stand here talking all day.....(another hour later).....wait, don't you want to see my niece's picture?
me: maybe some other time. i've got to go in now (escaping to the safety of my own apartment, i close and lock the door, and start looking through the rental ads-do they list apartments under "no neighbores allowed?)
by earpuller June 07, 2006
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wiki-wandering

after looking up the info you need on Wikipedia, you click on random, interesting-looking links, reading new stuff, until you find yourself reading about something totally unrelated to your original subject.
i looked up "mickey mantle" on Wikipedia. when i was done, i clicked on "new york yankee players," then "world series champions," then on "brooklyn dodgers," then on "leo durocher," then on "laraine day" then on " famous mormons," then on "donny osmond," then on "tv stars of the 70's," then on "david soul", then on "starsky and hutch," then on "tv cars," then on "ford torino," then on "torino talledega," then on "richard petty," then on "stock car champions," then on "alan kulwicki," then on "famous persons from wisconsin," then on "jeffery dahmer," then on "serial killers," then on "howard unruh," then on "camden, new jersey," then on "campbell soup," and then i realized i had just wasted the last three hours wiki-wandering!
by earpuller September 13, 2009
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pantsie

noun: the victim of a pantsing. A pantsie is the guy you see at the mall or walking down the street wearing his pants low on the hips so you can see his skinny little ass, and also the fact that he wears bargain-basement boxers. You would create a pantsie by pulling down his pants. Usually a wannabe of some sort, as a pantsie must do something to show the world how great he wishes he were. BTW-why are pantsies only guys?
Imagine you're walking behind someone flashing his butt crack and his dirty shorts (change them once in a while, jag-off!) letting the world know he's secure in his surroundings, unafraid of being exposed for what he really is (an insecure loser). As a public service you decide to finish the job he started by lowering his pants to floor level, preferably while in the presence of the girl he really likes, or the kids who hate him. VOILA!! You have created a pantsie.
by earpuller September 15, 2005
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situational lesbian

a straight woman who uses the old "i'm a lesbian" line to put off an undesirable (at least in her eyes) guy who is hitting on her. actually, she wouldn't munch the carpet if her life depended on it, but she figures it's better to give a phony excuse to the bozo than to tell him the truth and have it turn out he's a heavily-armed psychopath.
ben: uh, hey jen, would you like to go to the movies with me tomorrow night?
jen: sorry, ben. i guess you didn't know i'm gay. but thanks anyway! (walks quickly ot the other side of the room.)
len: who was that creep? want me to smash his face in for you?
jen: no, he's okay. i just told him i'm a dike and his boner went all soft.
len: wow, you're a real situational lesbian, aren't you? wanna let me fuck your brains out? whoa, looks like i'm too late!
by earpuller November 20, 2010
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barf bag

noun: 1. a paper bag supplied by airlines in case of air sickness.
2. a person who seems about as attractive as such an item.
1. passenger on airplane-whew, I feel sick to my stomach! I've gotta use the barf bag..........(RALPH).........man, shoulda used dramamine.....(SPEW)................
2. upset citizen-hey, barf bag! Keep yer fucking dog off my lawn and turn down that god-damned radio!!! And get a haircut!!!
by earpuller October 07, 2005
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engaged

Ebonics/whitetrashian word meaning "shacked up with someone with whom I have brought a bastard child into the world but by referring to our selves as "engaged" I take the curse off the casual sexual relationship that produced an illegitimate child which will be disavowed by the father at the first sign of troule or commitment."
ex. 1-Laqueefa and Tyrone done shacked up, den da bitch get herself knocked up cos she dint use no berf control, but since tyrone dint have no job an his momma doan want him living with her no mo, so he still be living wif laqueefa until da judge order him to pay a sediment fo dat bastard chile, so dat means laqueefa and tyrone bein engaged.

ex. 2-wail, my babydaddy luther and ah done had us a little bundle of joy, but we ain't married er nuthin', we's jest engaged, even though luther ain't bought me no ring er nuthin', he's gotta buy a new motor fer his F-150. b'sides, we don't need no piece a paper to tell us we love each other, now do we?
by earpuller December 06, 2010
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cold diarrhea

the punch line of an insult used in northern New Jersey during the 60's and 70's. made no sense then, makes no sense now, but still kind of funny.
carly: man, you think you're hot shit in a wine glass, but you're just cold diarrhea in a paper cup.
farley: that's so funny i forgot to laugh!
charlie: you're both about as funny as a cigarette machine in a cancer ward.
carly and farley: huh?
by earpuller January 01, 2006
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