earpuller's definitions

nice from the neck down

another way of saying butterface, referring to someone who is 8/9ths perfect, but the uppermost 1/9th is a killer. one can say "nnd" for short.

you see her standing on line, waiting to check out. expensive high-heel FMs, tan hose, long slender legs, perfect heart-shaped butt, gently curving hips, slim waist, large firm breasts, elegant neck. the ideal woman.........and then she turns toward you........and has a face like the dark side of the moon. oh well, they all look the same with the lights out. this is the essence of nice from the neck down.

by earpuller December 28, 2005

on-ramp blocking

the practice of preventing a driver from safely merging onto a freeway or other high-speed roadway. this is accomplished by the blocking car driving at the same speed as the merging car, and directly slongside. this action usually causes the merging driver to back off and merge behind the blocker; sometimes, though, the two cars collide because neither one gives way. often associated with NASCAR fans on public roads, on-ramp blocking is also common in major metropolitan areas.

jed: man, i couldn't believe it!! i was trying to get on the freeway, but some clown in a hyundai accent decided to ride alongside of me until we almost crashed at the entrance. what a jag-off!
ned: yeah, too many people commit random acts of on-ramp blocking these days. i'll take the back roads and avoid trouble.

by earpuller July 2, 2006

neighbores

simply put, boring neighbors. people who think you really care about their lives when, in fact, you wish you could move somewhere far, far away just to get away from them.

lady next door:.....then she said.....just back from visiting my sister in Peoria.....couldn't find a thing in there.....new recipes for hamburger helper.....never buy a german car, my father always said.....(two hours later).....well, i can't stand here talking all day.....(another hour later).....wait, don't you want to see my niece's picture?
me: maybe some other time. i've got to go in now (escaping to the safety of my own apartment, i close and lock the door, and start looking through the rental ads-do they list apartments under "no neighbores allowed?)

by earpuller June 11, 2006

off-ramp blocking

the practice of some drivers that prevents others from changing lanes to exit a freeway or other high-speed roadway. the blocker is between the car exiting and the actual exit, and must be travelling in the lane furthest right (in left-hand-drive countries only,) and going at the same speed as the exiting car. this action can cause massive amounts of road rage because often drivers take extreme measures to maintain their position or to get off the road. the blocked driver must usually take the next exit, which is no problem in big cities. when out in the middle of nowhere, however, the next exit may be many miles ahead, increasing the feelings of road rage. note: if the exiting driver is trying to get off from the far left lane, he is a dumbass and should have his license revoked. in this case off-ramp blocking has not occured.

bonnie: these people are so rude here!! i was trying to change lanes so i could get off at 76th street, but some dumbass in a kia spectra stayed alongside of me for miles! i couldn't get off until national avenue!! what a bastard!!
connie: yeah, it's a real problem on the new bypass. lonnie calls it off-ramp blocking, but i call it sheer stupidity.
lonnie: you betcher ass, ladies!!

by earpuller July 2, 2006

wiki-wandering

after looking up the info you need on Wikipedia, you click on random, interesting-looking links, reading new stuff, until you find yourself reading about something totally unrelated to your original subject.

i looked up "mickey mantle" on Wikipedia. when i was done, i clicked on "new york yankee players," then "world series champions," then on "brooklyn dodgers," then on "leo durocher," then on "laraine day" then on " famous mormons," then on "donny osmond," then on "tv stars of the 70's," then on "david soul", then on "starsky and hutch," then on "tv cars," then on "ford torino," then on "torino talledega," then on "richard petty," then on "stock car champions," then on "alan kulwicki," then on "famous persons from wisconsin," then on "jeffery dahmer," then on "serial killers," then on "howard unruh," then on "camden, new jersey," then on "campbell soup," and then i realized i had just wasted the last three hours wiki-wandering!

by earpuller September 12, 2009

Palintology

the study of all the various Palins from Alaska (also the bastard who knocked up Bristol, whats-his-name.) this includes such sub-studies as Palinspeech, Palingeography, and Palintics.

joe: so, what's your major at the university?
moe: Palintology. it's the study of all things Palintical.
joe: (stares blankly at his friend for a couple of minutes; then he says) you're fucking kidding me, aren't you?
moe: no! i'm totally cereal! and now i've got to run-part of my course of study is watching bristol on "dwts."
joe: what the hell is "dwts?"
moe: "dumb white trash shitheads."

by earpuller November 26, 2010

timber nigger

noun: NWUP (northern Wisconsin/ Upper Peninsula of Michigan)word for the native population. in other words, polacks, krauts, micks, and wops calling the original owners of this country a foul name derived from the foul name applied to blacks.

joe: hey, let's go ice fishin up north, hey?
moe: nah, dem timber niggers is all protestin again.
joe: about what?
moe: the history of abuse at the hands of the white man, or some shit like that
joe: fuck'em-let's go to Racine and get drunk!
moe: yah, dere hey!!

by earpuller October 1, 2005