after looking up the info you need on Wikipedia, you click on random, interesting-looking links, reading new stuff, until you find yourself reading about something totally unrelated to your original subject.
i looked up "mickey mantle" on Wikipedia. when i was done, i clicked on "new york yankee players," then "world series champions," then on "brooklyn dodgers," then on "leo durocher," then on "laraine day" then on " famous mormons," then on "donny osmond," then on "tv stars of the 70's," then on "david soul", then on "starsky and hutch," then on "tv cars," then on "ford torino," then on "torino talledega," then on "richard petty," then on "stock car champions," then on "alan kulwicki," then on "famous persons from wisconsin," then on "jeffery dahmer," then on "serial killers," then on "howard unruh," then on "camden, new jersey," then on "campbell soup," and then i realized i had just wasted the last three hours wiki-wandering!
similar to naughty little rhymes
(if this wasn't published, just follow along,) naughty haiku uses the classic japanese poem structure combined with good old American sex-obsession to create a new art form. The form of a haiku is always as follows-
first line=five syllables
second line=seven syllables
third line=five syllables
-so now just add some semi-pornographic, naughty, or just silly ideas, and voila
! naughty haiku!
here some examples of naughty haiku-
her bosom heaving,
jiggling, as she runs away
from me, down the road.
sometimes i stare out
from my window, watching her
as she trims her bush.
gee, i didn't know
she was only fifteen, sir.
off to jail with me.
the couple wriggled
and writhed, moaning in passion;
then the tape ran out.
the practice of preventing another driver from changing lanes. specifically, when a driver wants to change lanes while through-travelling, but finds himself stuck behind slower traffic, he may wish to pass the other vehicle. a lane blocker, however, will find a way to keep the passing driver stuck in postition, making it impossible for the passing driver to get around safely. usually this is a passive action, as opposed to on-ramp blocking
or offramp blocking
; often the offending driver is unaware of the faster car wanting to go past (often because the offender is talking on a cell phone.)
eric: come on man, just pass this truck! we're going to be late for the concert!
derrick: i can't pass him! the damned avalon in front of us is lane blocking me!
eric: flash your high-beams to get his attention!
derrick: i tried, but he's talking on his cell phone! must be more important than driving safely.
eric: what a dumbass bastard}!
a term of non-sexual affection used between straight males; may be exclusive to the milwaukee area, circa 1982.
lars: hey guys, what's going on?
kevin: BUDDY BUTTOCKS!!!
lars: say it a little louder, kev, some folks in the next county might not have heard you.
kevin: OK!! BUDDY BUTTOCKS!!
lars: i should have gone to marqutte.
kevin: but i'm glad you didn't, otherwise we'd never hang out, BUDDY BUTTOCKS!!
the rest of us: enough already!!!
1. Another over-long way of saying "drunk."
2. The term for when the baseball team you dislike has a man on each base (or "bases loaded.") Popular in the late sixties/early seventies in northern New Jersey; may have been used in other areas.
1. benny-"man, did you see that douchebag at the club last night? falling down drunk again! that boy was sure loaded."
denny-"yeah, and he got that way on zima!! that means he was loaded and corroded.!!"
2. When the Atlanta Braves or New York Yankees have a runner at each base, you can honestly say the bases are loaded and corroded.
another way of describing a useless task to be performed. similar to pushing water uphill
, scrubbing rust is pointless to anyone with half a brain. therefore, most managers and supervisors can't understand why you don't want to do the job at hand.
big boss man-ok, after you get done pushing water uphill
, you and eddie take apart that holding tank and start scrubbing rust. we need it super clean and sanitary.
me and eddie-you've got to be fucking kidding me!! how does scrubbing rust clean anything? it just wastes time.
big boss man-hey, i'm in charge around here, and you'll do as i say or you'll be fired! understood?
me and eddie-understood. fire away, asshole!!
a derogatory term for Ford Motor Company's legendary sporty car, the Mustang. The implication is that the Mustang is a dog (mutt) that stinks (stank.) Usually used by fans of General Motors' late lamented Glimmer Twins, the Camaro and the Firebird.
gene: so whatcha gonna do now that yer ex-wife gotcher Explorer in the divorce?
dean: i dunno. i always wanted a Mustang, maybe I'll get a red one.
gene: whatthefuck? why bother with a Muttstank? you might as well walk, or buy a Hyundai.
dean: stfu, at least they didn't discontinue the Mustang like they did the Cramped Arrow or the Misfirebird.
me: wait till they bring back the Challenger!!
gene and dean: who said that?