earpuller's definitions

great googly-moogly

interjection, similar to "great Caesar's ghost" and "jumpin' Jehosaphat," this nonsense phrase can be heard in the song "Goin' Down Slow" by Howlin Wolf, and in Frank Zappa's song "Don't Eat The Yellow Snow."

sure, anyone can shout "holy shit" or "jesus fucking christ." but it takes a person of rare insight and a sense of musical history to say "great googly-moogly" without sounding infantile.

by earpuller January 1, 2006

chunky but spunky

similar to cbf or chunky but funky, chunky but spunky also refers to a slightly overweight person; in this case, spunky is used to reflect the charm or personality of the person.

Kirstie Alley is chunky but funky in appearance, and chunky but spunky in personality. She's really appealing, especially to an older person (like me.)

by earpuller October 1, 2005

booger miner

a person with the disgusting habit of picking his or her nose while visible to the public. nothing subtle about the booger miner's approach-finger(s) inserted beyond the knuckle, accompanied by much digging around. gross? nauseating? you bet!! the verb form is booger mining.

while riding the bus to work the other day, gerry looked across the aisle at the most gorgeous woman he'd ever seen. astonishing face, magnificent hair, perfect figure, and long, slender legs. he tried to avoid staring at her, fearing he'd appear to be uncivilized and boorish, so he didn't notice that she'd inserted her left pinkie finger demurely into her nostril and began vigorously grinding away. finally he could no longer resist; he had to gaze upon her again. turning toward her, he quietly said "excuse me, i don't mean to be forward, but...." and just as he was about to ask her out, she turned toward him, smiling radiantly, and said "that's alright, go ahead." to his horror, gerry learned that this woman, the embodiment of all that is desirable about the opposite sex, was, in fact, a booger miner, for she had neglected to remove her finger from her nose before answering him. dizziness overcame him as he left the bus fourteen blocks from his office just to get away from the terrible thing he'd just witnessed.

by earpuller June 25, 2006

Expanding Family Syndrome

the annoying tendency of family groups in stores and other public places to spread out and block access for other shoppers or patrons. seen more often during the holiday shopping seasons, but can occur at any time. EFS can cause unsuspecting people to be forced hard against walls, merchandise displays, etc., or to have to detour around the family group to get at something of interest. similar to groups of aircraft, families often spread into various "vee" formations, echelons, and the dreaded "random EFS," past which nothing can pass, not even light.

this past christmas while shopping at a well-known discount department store, i was accosted by a family of four walking in a row across the aisle. as i was checking out items to purchase, the family came upon me, the dad saying "excuse us," as if i had anyplace else to go. i chose to stand my ground, causing the mom to glare at me and the family to pass me single-file. in this manner i prevented an outbreak of Expanding Family Syndrome.

by earpuller April 27, 2006

naughty haiku

similar to naughty little rhymes (if this wasn't published, just follow along,) naughty haiku uses the classic japanese poem structure combined with good old American sex-obsession to create a new art form. The form of a haiku is always as follows-
first line=five syllables
second line=seven syllables
third line=five syllables
-so now just add some semi-pornographic, naughty, or just silly ideas, and voila! naughty haiku!

here some examples of naughty haiku-

her bosom heaving,
jiggling, as she runs away
from me, down the road.

sometimes i stare out
from my window, watching her
as she trims her bush.

gee, i didn't know
she was only fifteen, sir.
off to jail with me.

the couple wriggled
and writhed, moaning in passion;
then the tape ran out.

by earpuller July 15, 2006

field vasectomy

an informally performed surgery, usually without benefit of anasthesia, sterilization, or any kind of hygienic preparation. similar procedures include field castration, field lobotomy, field amputation, etc. in all cases the patient is someone deserving of rough treatment, and the surgeon is the person providing it.

harry: did you hear about cary? his girlfriend found out he was cheating on her, so she gave him a field vasectomy.
larry: ouch!! did she use any instruments?
harry: well, mostly she used her hands, feet, and knees. she did threaten to perform a field castration with a rusty spoon if she caught him cheating again.
larry: jeez, what a dumb fuck. he should have worn a cup.

by earpuller December 28, 2005

niglish

noun: another way of saying ebonics, ot the language of illiterate street scum who "keep it real." Niglish is often heard on "Judge Joe Brown," and parodied on "Chapelle's Show."
Niglish is also the favorite language of trailer trash whiteys and other wigger wannabes.

ike: hey spike, whattya like?
mike: what's goin on man? why're you dressed like fiddy-thent?
spike: whatup, dawgs, i's jes keepin' it real, fo shizzle. later me and mah homies gonna do somfin ghetto, aight?
ike: what the fuck did he say?
mike: i dunno, but sounds like niglish to me. Funny thing is, he graduated 1st in his class at prep school

by earpuller September 15, 2005