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schrute

noun, a schrute is an annoying co-worker, one who specifically attaches himself to you, decides that you're best buddies, and procedes to make your work life unbearable. derived from Rainn Wilson's character Dwight Schrute from NBC's "The Office."
Sorry, I'd have had this report done sooner, but this schrute kept interrupting me with inane questions. that's why it took me three hours to finish a project that should have taken a half-hour.
by earpuller December 30, 2005
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the NASA scale

just like a NASA launch, counting down from 1 to 10 while watching the ladies. from a distance she looks hot (a 10,) but by the time she's right in front of you she turns out to be glass-shatteringly ugly (a 1.)
dan and stan are walking down main street when they see a woman at the other end of the block walking towards them-
dan: dude! check her out, she's a 10!!
stan: nah, maybe a nine.
dan: yeah, she's kind of fat. make her an 8.
stan: and her nose looks like an eggplant. 7.
dan: gross! she's got a huge booger, too! 6.
stan: and a better mustache than either of us. 5.
dan: look at her hat-she's got no hair! 4.
stan: except for her legs. 3.
dan: you could open a bottle of beer with the gap between her front teeth! 2.
stan: and she's cross-eyed to boot! 1.
both: ah, houston, we've got a problem-ABORT! ABORT!
dan: thank god for the NASA scale!
by earpuller November 22, 2010
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it's not urban encyclopedia

a phrase used by UD editors while reading 750 word definitions that never quite seem to finish.
after reading the def for "radical feminism," and realizing it took me almost half an hour to learn nothing, I said to myself "jesus freakin christ, it's not urban encyclopedia!"
by earpuller November 20, 2010
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buddy buttocks

a term of non-sexual affection used between straight males; may be exclusive to the milwaukee area, circa 1982.
lars: hey guys, what's going on?
kevin: BUDDY BUTTOCKS!!!
lars: say it a little louder, kev, some folks in the next county might not have heard you.
kevin: OK!! BUDDY BUTTOCKS!!
lars: i should have gone to marqutte.
kevin: but i'm glad you didn't, otherwise we'd never hang out, BUDDY BUTTOCKS!!
the rest of us: enough already!!!
by earpuller September 16, 2005
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y.a.n.g.b.

an acronym for a terrible thing for a woman to say to a smitten man-"you're a nice guy, but..." it usually means that the woman in question wouldn't be caught dead with the poor dope, but she doesn't want to make him mad or sad, for whatever reason. this phrase is right up there with the more well-known saying "can't we just be friends?", which of course means "i don't want to know you exist, but i don't want you to think i'm a bitch just because i wouldn't date you if you were the last man on earth." ladies, girls, women of the world, can't you turn us down politely and let us know you're just not interested in a romantic relationship with us?
larry-"hey, uh, carrie, i was wondering if you'd like to go out with me sometime, like out to dinner or to a movie or somethin'"
carrie-"gee, larry, you're a nice guy, but i don't think i can go out with you because (insert lame reason here.)"

LATER THAT DAY-
carrie, to her friends-"holy crap, can you believe that big fat ugly stupid dork had the nerve to ask me out? what does he think, i'm a blind desperate retard?"
MEANWHILE, ACORSS TOWN-
barry-"hey, man, so did you ask her out?"
larry-"yeah, but she gave me the old y.a.n.g.b. goddamned stupid stuck-up little bitch."
barry-"sucks to be you, moron!!"
larry-"gee, thanks, asshole. with friends like you, who needs enemies?"
by earpuller November 21, 2007
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Meryl Sheep

American film actress, known for her work in such films as "The French Lieutenant's Ewe," "Lambchop's Choice," "Fleecewood," "Sheep-Devil" (also starring Roseanne Baah,) and her current film, "The Wolf Wears Prada."
In her long and illustrious career, Meryl Sheep's only regret is not getting the role of Clarice Starling in "Silence of the Lambs."
by earpuller July 6, 2006
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argo

the key word in a classic "knock-knock" joke.
pat: knock-knock!
nat: who's there?
pat: argo.
nat: argo who?
pat: ARGO FUCK YOURSELF!!!
by earpuller November 21, 2010
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