earpuller's definitions

great googly-moogly

interjection, similar to "great Caesar's ghost" and "jumpin' Jehosaphat," this nonsense phrase can be heard in the song "Goin' Down Slow" by Howlin Wolf, and in Frank Zappa's song "Don't Eat The Yellow Snow."

sure, anyone can shout "holy shit" or "jesus fucking christ." but it takes a person of rare insight and a sense of musical history to say "great googly-moogly" without sounding infantile.

by earpuller January 1, 2006

booger miner

a person with the disgusting habit of picking his or her nose while visible to the public. nothing subtle about the booger miner's approach-finger(s) inserted beyond the knuckle, accompanied by much digging around. gross? nauseating? you bet!! the verb form is booger mining.

while riding the bus to work the other day, gerry looked across the aisle at the most gorgeous woman he'd ever seen. astonishing face, magnificent hair, perfect figure, and long, slender legs. he tried to avoid staring at her, fearing he'd appear to be uncivilized and boorish, so he didn't notice that she'd inserted her left pinkie finger demurely into her nostril and began vigorously grinding away. finally he could no longer resist; he had to gaze upon her again. turning toward her, he quietly said "excuse me, i don't mean to be forward, but...." and just as he was about to ask her out, she turned toward him, smiling radiantly, and said "that's alright, go ahead." to his horror, gerry learned that this woman, the embodiment of all that is desirable about the opposite sex, was, in fact, a booger miner, for she had neglected to remove her finger from her nose before answering him. dizziness overcame him as he left the bus fourteen blocks from his office just to get away from the terrible thing he'd just witnessed.

by earpuller June 25, 2006

Expanding Family Syndrome

the annoying tendency of family groups in stores and other public places to spread out and block access for other shoppers or patrons. seen more often during the holiday shopping seasons, but can occur at any time. EFS can cause unsuspecting people to be forced hard against walls, merchandise displays, etc., or to have to detour around the family group to get at something of interest. similar to groups of aircraft, families often spread into various "vee" formations, echelons, and the dreaded "random EFS," past which nothing can pass, not even light.

this past christmas while shopping at a well-known discount department store, i was accosted by a family of four walking in a row across the aisle. as i was checking out items to purchase, the family came upon me, the dad saying "excuse us," as if i had anyplace else to go. i chose to stand my ground, causing the mom to glare at me and the family to pass me single-file. in this manner i prevented an outbreak of Expanding Family Syndrome.

by earpuller April 27, 2006

fofe'n'nofe

ebonics (niglish) term for the intersection of Fourth Street and North Avenue in Milwaukee.

whenever the police need a suspect to arrest for any crime on the north side of Milwaukee, all they have to do is grab the first likely looking brother hanging around fofe'n'nofe. of course that pisses off the natives........

by earpuller November 20, 2010

neighbores

simply put, boring neighbors. people who think you really care about their lives when, in fact, you wish you could move somewhere far, far away just to get away from them.

lady next door:.....then she said.....just back from visiting my sister in Peoria.....couldn't find a thing in there.....new recipes for hamburger helper.....never buy a german car, my father always said.....(two hours later).....well, i can't stand here talking all day.....(another hour later).....wait, don't you want to see my niece's picture?
me: maybe some other time. i've got to go in now (escaping to the safety of my own apartment, i close and lock the door, and start looking through the rental ads-do they list apartments under "no neighbores allowed?)

by earpuller June 11, 2006

jose queerbo

the favorite beer among Mexican homosexuals.

Hey mang, bring me a jose queerbo and give me a big wet kiss!
don't bring me a dos ickies, i can'TECATEnymore!

by earpuller October 10, 2005

deja voodoo

the feeling you get when someone jinxes you, and you swear it's been done before, but you can't remember where or when.

tammy: boy, i've had this burning, stinging sensation in my back for an hour now.
sammy: maybe you should see a doctor?
tammy: i thought about it, but i've had this pain before; it's like someone's poking me with a giant pin.
sammy: well then, you do need a doctor-a witch doctor!! maybe he can remove the curse that's been put on you. you say you've had this pain before?
tammy: yeah, a couple of times. last time was when i broke up with hammie again; all of a sudden i had these terrible shooting pains.
sammy: you know, hammie practices witchcraft and other dark arts. perhaps he made a voodoo doll of you, and every time the two of you get into it, he goes home and sticks it with needles.
tammy: so you think this is a case of-
sammy: -that's right, tammy. you're suffering from deja voodoo.
tammy: can it be treated?
sammy: not with western medicine. you must travel to haiti and see a witch doctor; he'll set you right.
*meanwhile, in another part of town, hammie has grabbed another needle......*

by earpuller July 19, 2006