: ah hate niggers, jews, catholics, librals, commies, rich people, and anyone else who's not like me.
: I work with my hands to create the goods and services that people in my community need. I may be of any race, gender, religious belief, sexual orientation, or political affiliation. Without people like me, this country would cease to exist as we know it.
"I work, therefore I am." Rene Descartes, philosopher and laborer
noun: the object of a chubby chaser
's affection. Never refer to another person as a "chunky monkey" unless-
A. you know the person very well, so much so that said person would not be offended by being called one, or-
B. you can run very fast and will never see the person again.
A. come on over later, my little chunky monkey!
B. baby, you are a chunky monkey. leave some food for the rest of the world!
If a company is a house, then Human Resources is the septic tank; all the shit goes there. Human Resources, better known as HR, is the lowest place in a corporation's hierarchy, although they make themselves important by gaining the ability to control who works and who doesn't. To be a success in HR one must lose all trace of humanity and become a robot (becoming a whore is also advisable.) To paraphrase Willie Nelson,"mommas, dont let your babies grow up to be HR drones, don't let 'em be robots or whores or sluts, make 'em be robbers or car thieves and such....."
when i was a child, i thought like a child, but when i grew up and started working in Human Resources, i knew i had lost my soul, and to appease my new gods i fired my best friend, my girlfriend, my brother, an Iraqi war veteran with a silver star and a distinguished service cross, and the guy who saved me from drowning when i was a kid. what a good day's work!!
interjection, similar to "great Caesar's ghost" and "jumpin' Jehosaphat," this nonsense phrase can be heard in the song "Goin' Down Slow" by Howlin Wolf, and in Frank Zappa's song "Don't Eat The Yellow Snow."
sure, anyone can shout "holy shit" or "jesus fucking christ." but it takes a person of rare insight and a sense of musical history to say "great googly-moogly" without sounding infantile.
There are three major college degrees one can achieve: B.S., M.S., and PhD. These initials stand for the following-
PhD.-piled higher and deeper
mick: hey, the new engineer's specs are all out of whack!! we'll never get this thing built with these numbers!!
rick: well, buddy, you've just discovered the secret to a college degree. it consists of B.S., M.S., and PhD.
dick: yeah, we all know that, butthead!
rick: are you sure? for these college degrees, the initials stand for bullshit, more shit, and piled higher and deeper!!!
everybody laughs; the engineer in question walks through and they laugh even harder
noun: false name used-
1. as a stage name for entertainers,
2. conceal the identity of someone,
3. piss off a person temporarily in charge, i.e. substitute teacher.
1. Ringo Starr is the pseudonym used by Richard Starkey, famous drummer and member of The Beatles.
2. The FBI operative who gave information to Woodward and Bernstein concerning the Watergate break-in was known as "Deep Throat" to hide his true identity.
3. Some of my favorite pseudonyms used to upset substitute teachers are Chuck U. Farley, Dick Hertz, Mike Hunt, Mike Ockisore, Harry Pomms, Mike Rotchitchez, and Harry Bolles.
adj. the third and final phase of sheer unattractiveness.
Phase 1-(one-bagger) so ugly you need to bag her/his face so you can't see it.
Phase 2-(two-bagger) so damned ugly that you bag your face as well, in case the first bag falls off.
Phase 3-(coyote ugly) so hideously ugly that you imitate the action of a trapped coyote and chew off your arm rather than face your "conquest" from the night before.
when I'm a little drunk I'll hit on a one-bagger.
when I'm really drunk I'll settle for a two-bagger.
when I can barely see, talk or walk, then, and only then, will I accept coyote ugly.