earpuller's definitions

pseudonym

noun: false name used-
1. as a stage name for entertainers,
2. conceal the identity of someone,
3. piss off a person temporarily in charge, i.e. substitute teacher.

1. Ringo Starr is the pseudonym used by Richard Starkey, famous drummer and member of The Beatles.
2. The FBI operative who gave information to Woodward and Bernstein concerning the Watergate break-in was known as "Deep Throat" to hide his true identity.
3. Some of my favorite pseudonyms used to upset substitute teachers are Chuck U. Farley, Dick Hertz, Mike Hunt, Mike Ockisore, Harry Pomms, Mike Rotchitchez, and Harry Bolles.

by earpuller October 10, 2005

ass dragon

a semi-mythical creature, often seen in industrialized areas of the world. in common with other dragons, the ass dragon is a winged creature, but due to its extra-large posterior, it is incapable of flight (sometimes it is incapable of walking up stairs.) anywhere it walks it leaves a set of deep, broad, round furrows caused by its buttocks cheeks scraping the ground due to exhaustion after a long day's work. as well as belching fire from its snout, the ass dragon often releases noxious fumes from deep within its rear end.

outside the old factory, you can still see the ass dragon's tracks, usually filled with rainwater and colored dyes, and sometimes, after a rainstorm, one can catch the scent of sulfurous compounds emanating from the center of the tracks.

by earpuller November 6, 2007

chunky but spunky

similar to cbf or chunky but funky, chunky but spunky also refers to a slightly overweight person; in this case, spunky is used to reflect the charm or personality of the person.

Kirstie Alley is chunky but funky in appearance, and chunky but spunky in personality. She's really appealing, especially to an older person (like me.)

by earpuller October 1, 2005

blue collar

adjective: working class. I don't know how it became OK to equate blue collar with redneck. I was born and raised just a few miles west of Manhattan (I'm from New Jersey); I don't wear a mullet or a wife beater; I don't drive a pickup truck; and I am an unabashed and unashamed liberal. I am not a redneck; I am blue collar, a member of the working class, and damned proud of it.

redneck: ah hate niggers, jews, catholics, librals, commies, rich people, and anyone else who's not like me.
blue collar: I work with my hands to create the goods and services that people in my community need. I may be of any race, gender, religious belief, sexual orientation, or political affiliation. Without people like me, this country would cease to exist as we know it.

"I work, therefore I am." Rene Descartes, philosopher and laborer

by earpuller December 28, 2005

Expanding Family Syndrome

the annoying tendency of family groups in stores and other public places to spread out and block access for other shoppers or patrons. seen more often during the holiday shopping seasons, but can occur at any time. EFS can cause unsuspecting people to be forced hard against walls, merchandise displays, etc., or to have to detour around the family group to get at something of interest. similar to groups of aircraft, families often spread into various "vee" formations, echelons, and the dreaded "random EFS," past which nothing can pass, not even light.

this past christmas while shopping at a well-known discount department store, i was accosted by a family of four walking in a row across the aisle. as i was checking out items to purchase, the family came upon me, the dad saying "excuse us," as if i had anyplace else to go. i chose to stand my ground, causing the mom to glare at me and the family to pass me single-file. in this manner i prevented an outbreak of Expanding Family Syndrome.

by earpuller April 27, 2006

chunky monkey

noun: the object of a chubby chaser's affection. Never refer to another person as a "chunky monkey" unless-
A. you know the person very well, so much so that said person would not be offended by being called one, or-
B. you can run very fast and will never see the person again.

A. come on over later, my little chunky monkey!
B. baby, you are a chunky monkey. leave some food for the rest of the world!

by earpuller October 10, 2005

rectal-cranial inversion

a serious medical condition, wherein your cranium, or brain, has changed places with your rectum, or asshole. it can lead to jail time, unwanted pregnancy, divorce, loss of job and/or income, and public embarrassment.

joey: oh man, i can't believe i broke up with chloe; she's the best thing that ever happened to me. how could i be so stupid?
zoey: you may have been suffering from rectal-cranial inversion. you may still be. consult your psychologist or your proctologist as soon as possible.
joey: thanks, you're a real pal. i guess i need a tractor.
zoey: for what?
joey: to pull my head out of my ass!!
zoey: true dat.

by earpuller May 18, 2006