earpuller's definitions

wiki-wandering

after looking up the info you need on Wikipedia, you click on random, interesting-looking links, reading new stuff, until you find yourself reading about something totally unrelated to your original subject.

i looked up "mickey mantle" on Wikipedia. when i was done, i clicked on "new york yankee players," then "world series champions," then on "brooklyn dodgers," then on "leo durocher," then on "laraine day" then on " famous mormons," then on "donny osmond," then on "tv stars of the 70's," then on "david soul", then on "starsky and hutch," then on "tv cars," then on "ford torino," then on "torino talledega," then on "richard petty," then on "stock car champions," then on "alan kulwicki," then on "famous persons from wisconsin," then on "jeffery dahmer," then on "serial killers," then on "howard unruh," then on "camden, new jersey," then on "campbell soup," and then i realized i had just wasted the last three hours wiki-wandering!

by earpuller September 12, 2009

cyclops

a car with one headlight burned out. it's tough to see one at night because you don't know which side is working, possibly leading to a head-on collision.

last night, while coming home, i almost wrecked my car swerving to avoid a cyclops coming at me on the wrong side of the road.

by earpuller September 13, 2009

Human Resources

If a company is a house, then Human Resources is the septic tank; all the shit goes there. Human Resources, better known as HR, is the lowest place in a corporation's hierarchy, although they make themselves important by gaining the ability to control who works and who doesn't. To be a success in HR one must lose all trace of humanity and become a robot (becoming a whore is also advisable.) To paraphrase Willie Nelson,"mommas, dont let your babies grow up to be HR drones, don't let 'em be robots or whores or sluts, make 'em be robbers or car thieves and such....."

when i was a child, i thought like a child, but when i grew up and started working in Human Resources, i knew i had lost my soul, and to appease my new gods i fired my best friend, my girlfriend, my brother, an Iraqi war veteran with a silver star and a distinguished service cross, and the guy who saved me from drowning when i was a kid. what a good day's work!!

by earpuller December 2, 2010

kardash

having many or all of the characteristics of one of the famous Kardashian sisters (how come we never hear about the unfamous Kardashian sisters?) These include well-oversized posteriors, excessive use of eye makeup, black hair that surely came from a bottle, and a vocal quality that makes Fran Drescher sound like an accomplished Broadway actress.

tony: hey, did you see the new receptionist? big ole' butt, and racoon eyes.
donie: and that voice! she sounds all kardash, like those sisters on TV.....what was their name again?
tony: you mean the Kardashians? that's the name you can't remember. how kardash of you.
donie: yeah. speaking of kardash, what kind of printers' ink does your mom use to keep her youthful appearance?

by earpuller December 7, 2010

engaged

Ebonics/whitetrashian word meaning "shacked up with someone with whom I have brought a bastard child into the world but by referring to our selves as "engaged" I take the curse off the casual sexual relationship that produced an illegitimate child which will be disavowed by the father at the first sign of troule or commitment."

ex. 1-Laqueefa and Tyrone done shacked up, den da bitch get herself knocked up cos she dint use no berf control, but since tyrone dint have no job an his momma doan want him living with her no mo, so he still be living wif laqueefa until da judge order him to pay a sediment fo dat bastard chile, so dat means laqueefa and tyrone bein engaged.

ex. 2-wail, my babydaddy luther and ah done had us a little bundle of joy, but we ain't married er nuthin', we's jest engaged, even though luther ain't bought me no ring er nuthin', he's gotta buy a new motor fer his F-150. b'sides, we don't need no piece a paper to tell us we love each other, now do we?

by earpuller December 7, 2010

Greenlighting

Among diecast car collectors, the term "Greenlighting" is rapidly catching on. It refers to activities related to the collecting of Greenlight diecast car models. Diehard fans join the "Under-The-Hood" club, a forum for zealous Greenlight enthusiasts which is very laid-back and a fun place for collectors of all types to just hang out and relax. Coined by a UTH member, falcongtho3, an active member of the club (there are over 1300 of us, and growing steadily.)

todd: so whatcha doin' tonight, dude?
rod: after work i'm going to the toy store to find some new models-everyone is releasing new diecasts in time for christmas.
todd: looking for anything in particular?
rod: Greenlights, of course! when i get home i'll log into the Under The Hood club to do some "Greenlighting."
todd: sounds cool! maybe i should check it out!
rod: no doubt!

by earpuller December 12, 2010

Loading-on-White circle of death

This occurs on the Urban Dictionary editing page (probably other places as well) while an editor is waiting for new defs to load for the editing process. It might be the direct result of slow internet connections, or ancient, decrepit computers.

maggie: this sucks!
aggie: what's that?
maggie: i was editing defs on UD, and all of a sudden all i see is this circular graphic thingy that goes around and around and around and-
aggie: oh, i see that once in a while. i call it the "Loading-on-White circle of death. when i see it either i have to refresh, or i have to close my browser and relaunch it. it's a real pain in the ass.
maggie: but i'm a dedicated editor? what do i do?
aggie: dumby, i just told you! either refresh the page or relaunch your web browser!
maggie:, er, thanks a lot. may you forever be under the influence of the loading-on-white circle of death forever and ever, amen.

by earpuller December 19, 2010