noun: one who performs a pantsing on a pantsie. Sharing the pronunciation of the German word for "armor", the pantsie believes the pantser is, in fact, some kind of Nazi fascist scum. Actually, the pantser is a sort of public defender of taste, e.g. the pantser shows the absurdity of publicly displaying one's underwear by showing even more of the pantsie's skivvies. A pantser absolutely will NEVER pants a person whose pants are worn properly; this violates The Pantser Creed (definition to follow-or not).
ike: that guy needs to be pantsed!
mike: but who can do the deed?
ike: wait a minute-i could do it! all i need to do is pull down his pants and SHAZAM!! i am a pantser.
rene descarte (french philosopher and early prankster of some repute): i pants, therefore i am.
mike: but who can do the deed?
ike: wait a minute-i could do it! all i need to do is pull down his pants and SHAZAM!! i am a pantser.
rene descarte (french philosopher and early prankster of some repute): i pants, therefore i am.
by earpuller September 15, 2005
a car with one headlight burned out. it's tough to see one at night because you don't know which side is working, possibly leading to a head-on collision.
last night, while coming home, i almost wrecked my car swerving to avoid a cyclops coming at me on the wrong side of the road.
by earpuller September 13, 2009
the old guy in the turban sat in the corner, chanting "owa tafah kingu fiam" over and over again. when i joined him, i understood it all.
by earpuller November 23, 2010
noun: a woman who flaunts her "pureness" in public while sucking cock in private. Her image would be sullied if it were revealed that she was just like everyone else in her peer group (sexually active). Could also apply to a man, I guess, but how many guys brag about being a virgin?
the following are examples of celebrity women who could be accused of being professional virgins-
circa 1982-"Hi, I'm Brooke Shields, and I never, ever have sex with anyone! I'm saving myself for marriage!!" (doggy style? ok, Andre!!)
circa 1998-"Hi, I'm Britney Spears, and I'm as pure as the driven snow!! I don't let a boy go all the way with me ever! I'm waiting until I'm married!!" (ok, Justin, but let me mouthwash first. I can still taste your cock.)
circa 1982-"Hi, I'm Brooke Shields, and I never, ever have sex with anyone! I'm saving myself for marriage!!" (doggy style? ok, Andre!!)
circa 1998-"Hi, I'm Britney Spears, and I'm as pure as the driven snow!! I don't let a boy go all the way with me ever! I'm waiting until I'm married!!" (ok, Justin, but let me mouthwash first. I can still taste your cock.)
by earpuller September 17, 2005
another way of describing a useless task to be performed. similar to pushing water uphill, scrubbing rust is pointless to anyone with half a brain. therefore, most managers and supervisors can't understand why you don't want to do the job at hand.
big boss man-ok, after you get done pushing water uphill, you and eddie take apart that holding tank and start scrubbing rust. we need it super clean and sanitary.
me and eddie-you've got to be fucking kidding me!! how does scrubbing rust clean anything? it just wastes time.
big boss man-hey, i'm in charge around here, and you'll do as i say or you'll be fired! understood?
me and eddie-understood. fire away, asshole!!
me and eddie-you've got to be fucking kidding me!! how does scrubbing rust clean anything? it just wastes time.
big boss man-hey, i'm in charge around here, and you'll do as i say or you'll be fired! understood?
me and eddie-understood. fire away, asshole!!
by earpuller July 15, 2006
a straight woman who uses the old "i'm a lesbian" line to put off an undesirable (at least in her eyes) guy who is hitting on her. actually, she wouldn't munch the carpet if her life depended on it, but she figures it's better to give a phony excuse to the bozo than to tell him the truth and have it turn out he's a heavily-armed psychopath.
ben: uh, hey jen, would you like to go to the movies with me tomorrow night?
jen: sorry, ben. i guess you didn't know i'm gay. but thanks anyway! (walks quickly ot the other side of the room.)
len: who was that creep? want me to smash his face in for you?
jen: no, he's okay. i just told him i'm a dike and his boner went all soft.
len: wow, you're a real situational lesbian, aren't you? wanna let me fuck your brains out? whoa, looks like i'm too late!
jen: sorry, ben. i guess you didn't know i'm gay. but thanks anyway! (walks quickly ot the other side of the room.)
len: who was that creep? want me to smash his face in for you?
jen: no, he's okay. i just told him i'm a dike and his boner went all soft.
len: wow, you're a real situational lesbian, aren't you? wanna let me fuck your brains out? whoa, looks like i'm too late!
by earpuller November 20, 2010
noun: false name used-
1. as a stage name for entertainers,
2. conceal the identity of someone,
3. piss off a person temporarily in charge, i.e. substitute teacher.
1. as a stage name for entertainers,
2. conceal the identity of someone,
3. piss off a person temporarily in charge, i.e. substitute teacher.
1. Ringo Starr is the pseudonym used by Richard Starkey, famous drummer and member of The Beatles.
2. The FBI operative who gave information to Woodward and Bernstein concerning the Watergate break-in was known as "Deep Throat" to hide his true identity.
3. Some of my favorite pseudonyms used to upset substitute teachers are Chuck U. Farley, Dick Hertz, Mike Hunt, Mike Ockisore, Harry Pomms, Mike Rotchitchez, and Harry Bolles.
2. The FBI operative who gave information to Woodward and Bernstein concerning the Watergate break-in was known as "Deep Throat" to hide his true identity.
3. Some of my favorite pseudonyms used to upset substitute teachers are Chuck U. Farley, Dick Hertz, Mike Hunt, Mike Ockisore, Harry Pomms, Mike Rotchitchez, and Harry Bolles.
by earpuller September 22, 2005