pantser

noun: one who performs a pantsing on a pantsie. Sharing the pronunciation of the German word for "armor", the pantsie believes the pantser is, in fact, some kind of Nazi fascist scum. Actually, the pantser is a sort of public defender of taste, e.g. the pantser shows the absurdity of publicly displaying one's underwear by showing even more of the pantsie's skivvies. A pantser absolutely will NEVER pants a person whose pants are worn properly; this violates The Pantser Creed (definition to follow-or not).
ike: that guy needs to be pantsed!
mike: but who can do the deed?
ike: wait a minute-i could do it! all i need to do is pull down his pants and SHAZAM!! i am a pantser.
rene descarte (french philosopher and early prankster of some repute): i pants, therefore i am.
by earpuller September 15, 2005
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mybabydaddy

noun: spoken as one word, meaning "my baby's daddy." Heard frequently on "Judge Joe Brown," "Judge Mathis," and "The Jerry Springer Show." Used by illiterate people of all races and ethinicities, although most prevalent among blacks. A similar word set is "mybabymomma," meaning "my baby's momma," of course. Variations in pronunciation include "muhbebbidaddy" and "mabaybuhsdadduh."
Judge Joe Brown: So, Ms. Federline, who takes care of your children while you're out streetwalking?
britney: wail, they be either wit mah momma or over to they daddy's house, yer Honor.
JJB: Your mother and who?
britney: mybabydaddy. We broke up when he found out I was gonna give him another bastard child for him to not support.
JJB: Y'all are pitiful and I've heard enough!! Case Dismissed!
by earpuller October 06, 2005
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cruise control creeping

the act of allowing an automobile to approach the car ahead because the driver has set his cruise control but is not paying attention to traffic conditions. the noun form of the phrase is "cruise control creeper."
while driving down a two-lane country road, i noticed in my rear view mirror a large foreign sedan approaching my car from behind. his speed was almost the same as mine, just a little quicker, so his approach was pretty slow. still, he kept on getting closer, until i could no longer see his front bumper. suddenly, just as i thought he was going to ram me, he swerved left and passed me at a rapid pace, glaring at me as he passed. he left me behind at the same slow rate as he approached me. i figured he was cruise control creeping, because he was gabbing on a cell phone. to avoid becoming a cruise control creeper myself, i reset my own cruise control and let the other car go about his merry way. after i flipped him off.
by earpuller October 21, 2007
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poster's remorse

the feeling one may have just as he or she hits the "post" button at UD talk or on the UD wall. just like closing the barn door after the horse has fled!
gee, you'd think all these defs i've published, all the talk posts, and all the stuff i've written on the UD wall should have given me a severe case of poster's remorse........nah, screw 'em all!!!
by earpuller July 21, 2006
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owa tafah kingu fiam

say it really fast, that's the definition.
the old guy in the turban sat in the corner, chanting "owa tafah kingu fiam" over and over again. when i joined him, i understood it all.
by earpuller November 23, 2010
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professional virgin

noun: a woman who flaunts her "pureness" in public while sucking cock in private. Her image would be sullied if it were revealed that she was just like everyone else in her peer group (sexually active). Could also apply to a man, I guess, but how many guys brag about being a virgin?
the following are examples of celebrity women who could be accused of being professional virgins-

circa 1982-"Hi, I'm Brooke Shields, and I never, ever have sex with anyone! I'm saving myself for marriage!!" (doggy style? ok, Andre!!)
circa 1998-"Hi, I'm Britney Spears, and I'm as pure as the driven snow!! I don't let a boy go all the way with me ever! I'm waiting until I'm married!!" (ok, Justin, but let me mouthwash first. I can still taste your cock.)
by earpuller September 17, 2005
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scrubbing rust

another way of describing a useless task to be performed. similar to pushing water uphill, scrubbing rust is pointless to anyone with half a brain. therefore, most managers and supervisors can't understand why you don't want to do the job at hand.
big boss man-ok, after you get done pushing water uphill, you and eddie take apart that holding tank and start scrubbing rust. we need it super clean and sanitary.
me and eddie-you've got to be fucking kidding me!! how does scrubbing rust clean anything? it just wastes time.
big boss man-hey, i'm in charge around here, and you'll do as i say or you'll be fired! understood?
me and eddie-understood. fire away, asshole!!
by earpuller July 15, 2006
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