daltonjfk's definitions

These Uncertain Dimes

Dime baggies of drugs your friends have had stashed away in their bottom drawer since March 2020. You can tell from the anemic plastic and dustbuster-looking powder inside that these particular drugs have not seen the sweet inside of a dollar bill since before every bar stopped accepting cash.

You may have survived a pandemic, but with these uncertain dimes back in circulation, your Friday night at Kind Regards might be more dangerous than ever before.

by daltonjfk September 24, 2021

Shag nook

The depression in the mattress that has become your favorite spot to perform intercourse.

Clara: “Why does it look like you’ve been keeping a cannonball on the middle of your bed?”
Fiona: “Oh that? That’s just my shag nook.”

by daltonjfk September 23, 2019

lowercase official

romantic relationship status achieved when both partners have each other's names in all lowercase in their phones

just because you stay over every night, we go on trips together, take our children to disneyland, and have each other in our wills does NOT mean you and i are ready to be lowercase official babe

by daltonjfk October 26, 2019

Start tofu

When vegetarians start beef

When Layla-Ann accused Melrose of having worn leather shoelaces on Monday, I knew the two of them were about to start tofu.

by daltonjfk September 23, 2019

Romeo and Juuliet

The classic English-language tragedy of a college romance doomed when the young, beautiful Juliet falls more deeply in love with her Juul than with Romeo.

Has inspired reenactments in high schools and colleges across America.

"I think the saddest part of Romeo and Juuliet is when Romeo climbs up to her balcony but she can't see him through all her Juul smoke."

by daltonjfk October 4, 2019

Iron museum

The proper name for a gym. A palace of gains.

Roberto and Fabio hit up the iron museum every day so they can get yuge.

by daltonjfk August 30, 2019

Flexico

The corner of Instagram densely populated by basic rich kids' spring break photos.

In the #unfiltered alleyways of Flexico, you will behold Sara's ivory beach kimono with the little green birds embroidered on it; on the vsco boulevards of the Flexican peninsula you will find Robbie and Mikey posing on the bow of their father's Sunseaker...all this you will find in Flexico, and all this you will forward to your groupchat to bitch about.

by daltonjfk December 20, 2019