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daltonjfk's definitions

Shag nook

The depression in the mattress that has become your favorite spot to perform intercourse.
Clara: “Why does it look like you’ve been keeping a cannonball on the middle of your bed?”
Fiona: “Oh that? That’s just my shag nook.”
by daltonjfk September 23, 2019
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Rest in fleece

An honorable blessing provided to frat brothers, bankers, and members of Corporate America who have passed out at a party.
Bryan and Michael had a few too many beer bongs at the all-day BBQ and passed out in the flower bed. Fortunately, they were wearing their Patagonia vests. We pray that they rest in fleece.
by daltonjfk September 23, 2019
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Bluetooth hookup

Similar to friends with benefits, a hookup that occurs routinely between two people who have no particular feelings for each other but find it convenient to hook up when they end up at the same bar or party.

Automatically connects, even when you don’t want it to.
Drunk and bored at the same party for the third time this month, Julia and Gareth resumed their Bluetooth hookup on Friday.
by daltonjfk September 23, 2019
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Quarterback contact

The one person in the group who puts in the effort to organise shit, text people individually, and round up the troops.

Quarterback contacts can be found orchestrating elaborate plays on WhatsApp and iMessage groups to trick the whole squad into getting together.

Every group needs one.
William knows exactly who to say is coming to each person in the group to get them to show up. He’s the admin of 4 group chats and is always on his phone. He is his group’s Quarterback Contact.
by daltonjfk September 23, 2019
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First-wheeling

To go on a date with oneself.

Lonewolf love and self care to the max. To lay out a spread of charcuterie, wine, and dark chocolate on the river bank; to unicycle into the satin-colored sunset, complimenting yourself on the summer outfit; when you return home, to look in the mirror, tell yourself "my treat," and then to blush.
Now that I’m single I’ll be arguing with myself over who pays the bill and eating all my own popcorn. First-wheeling with no handlebars.
by daltonjfk September 23, 2019
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Kim Jong Tune

A song so lit the masses submit to it unconditionally. Individuals of all music tastes have no choice but to adore its fat, wobbling rhythms. To criticise a Kim Jong Tune is a serious cultural heresy.

That fire drops like a nuclear bomb.
Back in the summer of 2015 I told people I didn’t like “Lean On”. The ensuing social ostracism I endured helped me understand that the song was in fact a Kim Jong Tune.
by daltonjfk September 23, 2019
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College Michelin Star

Award given to a college student kitchen that has produced dishes other than pasta, couscous, and scrambled eggs. Prize includes a set of forks that match each other.
Gaia: “I went over to Brooke’s last night and she made baked potatoes with mushrooms.”
Sammy: “Someone give that girl a College Michelin Star.”
by daltonjfk September 27, 2019
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