daltonjfk's definitions
Dime baggies of drugs your friends have had stashed away in their bottom drawer since March 2020. You can tell from the anemic plastic and dustbuster-looking powder inside that these particular drugs have not seen the sweet inside of a dollar bill since before every bar stopped accepting cash.
You may have survived a pandemic, but with these uncertain dimes back in circulation, your Friday night at Kind Regards might be more dangerous than ever before.
by daltonjfk September 24, 2021
Get the These Uncertain Dimes mug.An honorable blessing provided to frat brothers, bankers, and members of Corporate America who have passed out at a party.
Bryan and Michael had a few too many beer bongs at the all-day BBQ and passed out in the flower bed. Fortunately, they were wearing their Patagonia vests. We pray that they rest in fleece.
by daltonjfk September 23, 2019
Get the Rest in fleece mug.by daltonjfk September 21, 2019
Get the Wonktact mug.A sad vacation to a sad location. The Ghettaway is the family getaway to Fort Lauderdale, the weddings in Palm Springs, the company retreats to Myrtle Beach, the honeymoon at the Hilton Honolulu. While most often accessed by car or RV, Ghettaway hotspots can also be reached via Spirit Airlines or Greyhound bus.
Common Ghettaway activities include threatening a divorce, sleeping with unattractive coworkers, wearing Oakley sunglasses, and yelling inappropriately at one's children in the line for cracked waterslides. Returning home with gift-shop T-shirts is typically considered a must.
Common Ghettaway activities include threatening a divorce, sleeping with unattractive coworkers, wearing Oakley sunglasses, and yelling inappropriately at one's children in the line for cracked waterslides. Returning home with gift-shop T-shirts is typically considered a must.
The whole block knew it was time for the Bransons' annual Ghettaway to Virginia Beach when they could be seen packing their motor home with enough Mountain Dew for the two weeks of Spring Break.
by daltonjfk October 18, 2019
Get the Ghettaway mug.Swiping psychotically through Tinder after dinner each night of the holidays to kill time and ensure matches.
Alone in quarantine or bored stiff on their parents' couch, young singles everywhere swipe to the end of their daily allowance, reaping a heinous daily match with a past-prime hometown hottie, or the waiter from the cafe downstairs you've never seen with his mask off. Tinder Advent Calendar matches offer all the short-lived indulgence of the advent chocolates of childhood, but with the added risk of a dick pic.
Alone in quarantine or bored stiff on their parents' couch, young singles everywhere swipe to the end of their daily allowance, reaping a heinous daily match with a past-prime hometown hottie, or the waiter from the cafe downstairs you've never seen with his mask off. Tinder Advent Calendar matches offer all the short-lived indulgence of the advent chocolates of childhood, but with the added risk of a dick pic.
Harriet's Tinder Advent Calendar currently features Abs Joe from Chem, now a year-round receptionist, and Cute Window Guy who makes ugly infographics on his Instagram.
by daltonjfk December 17, 2020
Get the Tinder Advent Calendar mug.The classic English-language tragedy of a college romance doomed when the young, beautiful Juliet falls more deeply in love with her Juul than with Romeo.
Has inspired reenactments in high schools and colleges across America.
Has inspired reenactments in high schools and colleges across America.
"I think the saddest part of Romeo and Juuliet is when Romeo climbs up to her balcony but she can't see him through all her Juul smoke."
by daltonjfk October 4, 2019
Get the Romeo and Juuliet mug.In the #unfiltered alleyways of Flexico, you will behold Sara's ivory beach kimono with the little green birds embroidered on it; on the vsco boulevards of the Flexican peninsula you will find Robbie and Mikey posing on the bow of their father's Sunseaker...all this you will find in Flexico, and all this you will forward to your groupchat to bitch about.
by daltonjfk December 20, 2019
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