A late-night Uber Pool packed full of passed-out passengers.
Urban mythology has long recounted tales of supposed hookups enjoyed by friends of friends in the backseat of Honda Insights heading from the cluburbs to the suburbs in the early morning hours, though in reality these vehicles are filled only with the smell of tequila and sound of snoring.
Urban mythology has long recounted tales of supposed hookups enjoyed by friends of friends in the backseat of Honda Insights heading from the cluburbs to the suburbs in the early morning hours, though in reality these vehicles are filled only with the smell of tequila and sound of snoring.
1: “You drank 12 Monacos last night before you disappeared - how did you even get home?”
2. “Called a Slumber Pool and asked the driver to marry me when we got back Uptown.”
2. “Called a Slumber Pool and asked the driver to marry me when we got back Uptown.”
by daltonjfk October 30, 2019
To go on a date with oneself.
Lonewolf love and self care to the max. To lay out a spread of charcuterie, wine, and dark chocolate on the river bank; to unicycle into the satin-colored sunset, complimenting yourself on the summer outfit; when you return home, to look in the mirror, tell yourself "my treat," and then to blush.
Lonewolf love and self care to the max. To lay out a spread of charcuterie, wine, and dark chocolate on the river bank; to unicycle into the satin-colored sunset, complimenting yourself on the summer outfit; when you return home, to look in the mirror, tell yourself "my treat," and then to blush.
Now that I’m single I’ll be arguing with myself over who pays the bill and eating all my own popcorn. First-wheeling with no handlebars.
by daltonjfk September 23, 2019
The one person in the group who puts in the effort to organise shit, text people individually, and round up the troops.
Quarterback contacts can be found orchestrating elaborate plays on WhatsApp and iMessage groups to trick the whole squad into getting together.
Every group needs one.
Quarterback contacts can be found orchestrating elaborate plays on WhatsApp and iMessage groups to trick the whole squad into getting together.
Every group needs one.
William knows exactly who to say is coming to each person in the group to get them to show up. He’s the admin of 4 group chats and is always on his phone. He is his group’s Quarterback Contact.
by daltonjfk September 23, 2019
A song so lit the masses submit to it unconditionally. Individuals of all music tastes have no choice but to adore its fat, wobbling rhythms. To criticise a Kim Jong Tune is a serious cultural heresy.
That fire drops like a nuclear bomb.
That fire drops like a nuclear bomb.
Back in the summer of 2015 I told people I didn’t like “Lean On”. The ensuing social ostracism I endured helped me understand that the song was in fact a Kim Jong Tune.
by daltonjfk September 23, 2019
romantic relationship status achieved when both partners have each other's names in all lowercase in their phones
just because you stay over every night, we go on trips together, take our children to disneyland, and have each other in our wills does NOT mean you and i are ready to be lowercase official babe
by daltonjfk October 26, 2019
Clara: “Why does it look like you’ve been keeping a cannonball on the middle of your bed?”
Fiona: “Oh that? That’s just my shag nook.”
Fiona: “Oh that? That’s just my shag nook.”
by daltonjfk September 23, 2019
by daltonjfk August 30, 2019