daltonjfk's definitions

Jigsaw guzzle

Eating whatever scraps and leftovers one can find in the house after returning home from a night out. Jigsaw guzzlers are known to piece together meals of cold pasta in Tupperwares, hummus with a spoon, entire packets of sliced ham, and heels of bread from 4 different loaves.

Often leads to couch pizza the following day.

Arriving home 3 hours before her 8AM sociology class, Kendra stumbled into the kitchen and jigsaw guzzled her roommates’ cereal, popcorn, and secret stash of Cheetos before devouring Sasha’s entire block of Parmesan.

by daltonjfk October 3, 2019

Y’allst

When you finally find out whomst.

1: “Whomst intern??”
2: “Y’allst brother.”

by daltonjfk October 4, 2019

George W. F. H. Bush

The commando-in-chief. President of working from home in nothing but a shirt, gets dressed by invading the Dryrack. Went to Yale but says he's from Texas so his O&G coworkers will accept him.

Coworkers on the Teams call: "I think you're on mute, we can't hear you."
George W. F. H. Bush: "But I can hear you!"

by daltonjfk September 24, 2021

Friends with Penefits

Someone you wouldn't really talk to except that sitting next to them in class comes with the crucial benefit of always being able to borrow their pens.

Fuccbois and fuccgirls worldwide begin making friends with penefits around middle school, and perfect the technique in high school and college. Shy students with large, adorned pencil cases are often the targets.

Always a one-sided relationship. Taker will gnaw on pen caps the way lovers gnaw on hearts.

From 7th grade through 11th grade, Teddy thought Alyssa and him might have a future together after sitting together in English for 6 years. However, when he started using a tablet and stylus instead of his Pilot pens, she moved to sit next to Chad and he realised they had never been anything more than friends with penefits.

by daltonjfk October 3, 2019

Nickelback crack

Mountain Dew, Monster, or any other high-sugar caffeinated soft drink to which white males aged 15-35 become addicted while listening intently and crying softly to the songs of Nickelback and Linkin Park.

Popular in suburban America but can be found elsewhere.

Trevor: “Yo Kyle’s put on a lot of weight since the summer started.”
Mikey: “Yeah bro, his girlfriend dumped him so he’s been playing cod and hitting that Nickelback crack.”

by daltonjfk September 1, 2019

Ghettaway

A sad vacation to a sad location. The Ghettaway is the family getaway to Fort Lauderdale, the weddings in Palm Springs, the company retreats to Myrtle Beach, the honeymoon at the Hilton Honolulu. While most often accessed by car or RV, Ghettaway hotspots can also be reached via Spirit Airlines or Greyhound bus.

Common Ghettaway activities include threatening a divorce, sleeping with unattractive coworkers, wearing Oakley sunglasses, and yelling inappropriately at one's children in the line for cracked waterslides. Returning home with gift-shop T-shirts is typically considered a must.

The whole block knew it was time for the Bransons' annual Ghettaway to Virginia Beach when they could be seen packing their motor home with enough Mountain Dew for the two weeks of Spring Break.

by daltonjfk October 18, 2019

George W. F. H. Bush

Commando-in-sheets. President of working from home in nothing but a shirt. Gets dressed by invading the Dryrack. Went to Yale but pretends to be from Texas to gain acceptance from his O&G colleagues. Bedroom also known as the Broval Office.

Colleagues on Teams call: "I think you're on mute - we can't hear you."
George W. F. H. Bush: "But I can hear YOU!"

by daltonjfk September 24, 2021