Dime baggies of drugs your friends have had stashed away in their bottom drawer since March 2020. You can tell from the anemic plastic and dustbuster-looking powder inside that these particular drugs have not seen the sweet inside of a dollar bill since before every bar stopped accepting cash.
You may have survived a pandemic, but with these uncertain dimes back in circulation, your Friday night at Kind Regards might be more dangerous than ever before.
by daltonjfk September 24, 2021

A sad vacation to a sad location. The Ghettaway is the family getaway to Fort Lauderdale, the weddings in Palm Springs, the company retreats to Myrtle Beach, the honeymoon at the Hilton Honolulu. While most often accessed by car or RV, Ghettaway hotspots can also be reached via Spirit Airlines or Greyhound bus.
Common Ghettaway activities include threatening a divorce, sleeping with unattractive coworkers, wearing Oakley sunglasses, and yelling inappropriately at one's children in the line for cracked waterslides. Returning home with gift-shop T-shirts is typically considered a must.
Common Ghettaway activities include threatening a divorce, sleeping with unattractive coworkers, wearing Oakley sunglasses, and yelling inappropriately at one's children in the line for cracked waterslides. Returning home with gift-shop T-shirts is typically considered a must.
The whole block knew it was time for the Bransons' annual Ghettaway to Virginia Beach when they could be seen packing their motor home with enough Mountain Dew for the two weeks of Spring Break.
by daltonjfk October 18, 2019

Commando-in-sheets. President of working from home in nothing but a shirt. Gets dressed by invading the Dryrack. Went to Yale but pretends to be from Texas to gain acceptance from his O&G colleagues. Bedroom also known as the Broval Office.
Colleagues on Teams call: "I think you're on mute - we can't hear you."
George W. F. H. Bush: "But I can hear YOU!"
George W. F. H. Bush: "But I can hear YOU!"
by daltonjfk September 24, 2021

A song so lit the masses submit to it unconditionally. Individuals of all music tastes have no choice but to adore its fat, wobbling rhythms. To criticise a Kim Jong Tune is a serious cultural heresy.
That fire drops like a nuclear bomb.
That fire drops like a nuclear bomb.
Back in the summer of 2015 I told people I didn’t like “Lean On”. The ensuing social ostracism I endured helped me understand that the song was in fact a Kim Jong Tune.
by daltonjfk September 23, 2019

The decision by numerous drunk and high party guests to sleep over at the hosts’ house without proper permission.
As in a hostile takeover, these party-shareholders acquire the target’s assets, such as sofa cushions and armchairs, and force the hosts to accept the merging of their bedrooms into communal cesspools.
The aftermath of a hostile sleepover may see animosity between the hosts and the guests, as well as the gutting of hosts’ refrigerators and towels as guests seek to serve short-term hunger and hygiene needs.
As in a hostile takeover, these party-shareholders acquire the target’s assets, such as sofa cushions and armchairs, and force the hosts to accept the merging of their bedrooms into communal cesspools.
The aftermath of a hostile sleepover may see animosity between the hosts and the guests, as well as the gutting of hosts’ refrigerators and towels as guests seek to serve short-term hunger and hygiene needs.
Mitchell and Andrew had a Halloween party, everyone brought a plus one, and by 2AM with six people passed out on the couch and on the floor, it was clear a hostile sleepover was about to take place.
by daltonjfk October 30, 2019

Liking one’s own instagram post from a secondary account. Dupes unsuspecting followers into believing the poster is one like more popular than they actually are.
by daltonjfk September 08, 2019

Hot, charismatic guy whom you quickly realise is some seriously toxic bad news.
Irresistable with his deep voice, toned chest, and prickly stubble; owns a different quilted coat for every outfit and actually knows how to fold a pocket square. However, after not much time you realise he has more insecurities than a game of Jenga and more commitment issues than the New York Subway.
Irresistable with his deep voice, toned chest, and prickly stubble; owns a different quilted coat for every outfit and actually knows how to fold a pocket square. However, after not much time you realise he has more insecurities than a game of Jenga and more commitment issues than the New York Subway.
Yvonne: "I don't know...he's in the best frat, drives a Benz, looks like Apollo, has a house in Rapallo..."
Ciara: "Leave him. He may have the biceps of Zeus, but he's still just a douche. His smile's disarming, but he's still Prince Alarming..."
Ciara: "Leave him. He may have the biceps of Zeus, but he's still just a douche. His smile's disarming, but he's still Prince Alarming..."
by daltonjfk October 03, 2019
