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daltonjfk's definitions

Groupchat graveyard

The mound of forgotten, forlorn groupchats piling up at the bottom of your messages list.

Tombstones in the groupchat graveyard often read “Ibiza 2016 🔥”, “Victoria’a bdayyyy”, or, more tragically, “4ever Squad” and “Ride-or-dies”.

According to legend, some of the groupchats in the graveyard may be haunted by the people who acquired your friends’ old phone numbers.
1: “What was the name of that guy I hooked up with at Sara’s brother’s wedding?”
2: “Check the groupchat graveyard hun.”
by daltonjfk October 30, 2019
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Seventh-inning wretch

A tactical vomit effected in order to continue a night out.

The seventh-inning wretch normally occurs between 11pm and 1am, when partygoers who mixed whiskey and beer or rum and wine at the pregame dash to the restroom to pitch forward and re-serve their dinner plate. The seventh-inning wretch is normally a solitary event but can also be a team effort.
When everyone decided spontaneously to go to a club after Neil’s pregame and the bar next door, I dashed to the facilities for a seventh-inning wretch so the bouncers wouldn’t see how plastered I was.
by daltonjfk November 4, 2019
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Single man's ring

The circular imprint that develops in the skin of a wallet when a single man has carried an as-yet unused condom in it for too long.

Even after removing the contraceptive wang-sleeve (usually due to expiration rather than use), the single man's ring will usually persist for months to come. Upon close inspection, the single man's ring may occasionally be found pressed into banknotes and jeans pockets.
Wandering the bars on Wednesday night, Pete realised the single man's ring which had developed in his wallet announced to all bartenders that he was wedded to the sadboi life.
by daltonjfk October 26, 2019
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No print no scan

Alternative for “facts”. As in, no print, no scan, just fax.
Pierre: “Predrinks at mine this Friday.”
Farouk: “No print no scan.”
Danilo: “Just fax.”
by daltonjfk August 30, 2019
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Asteroid Gucci belt

The first thing an alien buys after he drops his mixtape. Buckle is typically studded with space rocks.
“Zorg just released ‘Martian Sadboi’ and got straight into his rocket to go buy and Asteroid Gucci belt.”
by daltonjfk September 27, 2019
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Prince Alarming

Hot, charismatic guy whom you quickly realise is some seriously toxic bad news.

Irresistable with his deep voice, toned chest, and prickly stubble; owns a different quilted coat for every outfit and actually knows how to fold a pocket square. However, after not much time you realise he has more insecurities than a game of Jenga and more commitment issues than the New York Subway.
Yvonne: "I don't know...he's in the best frat, drives a Benz, looks like Apollo, has a house in Rapallo..."

Ciara: "Leave him. He may have the biceps of Zeus, but he's still just a douche. His smile's disarming, but he's still Prince Alarming..."
by daltonjfk October 3, 2019
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College Michelin Star

Award given to a college student kitchen that has produced dishes other than pasta, couscous, and scrambled eggs. Prize includes a set of forks that match each other.
Gaia: “I went over to Brooke’s last night and she made baked potatoes with mushrooms.”
Sammy: “Someone give that girl a College Michelin Star.”
by daltonjfk September 27, 2019
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