daltonjfk's definitions

Hindsight is 420

A phrase to console someone who regrets not bringing their weed to a get-together.

Gair: "Bruh you usually look faded by this time on a Friday, what's up?"
Mikel: "Man I thought this was gonna be a sober thing so I didn't bring my herbs, now I'm looking back wishing I had come prepared."
Gair: "Damn that's why your eyes look so clear - your hindsight is 420."

by daltonjfk December 17, 2019

Quarterback contact

The one person in the group who puts in the effort to organise shit, text people individually, and round up the troops.

Quarterback contacts can be found orchestrating elaborate plays on WhatsApp and iMessage groups to trick the whole squad into getting together.

Every group needs one.

William knows exactly who to say is coming to each person in the group to get them to show up. He’s the admin of 4 group chats and is always on his phone. He is his group’s Quarterback Contact.

by daltonjfk September 23, 2019

Couch pizza

Rogue slices of pizza discovered in the cracks of a couch after a long night of drinking and/or smoking the devil’s cabbage.

Often consumed, though always in secret.

After her third slice of couch pizza, Maria realised those little pepperoni were actually pennies.”

by daltonjfk September 16, 2019

Groupchat graveyard

The mound of forgotten, forlorn groupchats piling up at the bottom of your messages list.

Tombstones in the groupchat graveyard often read “Ibiza 2016 🔥”, “Victoria’a bdayyyy”, or, more tragically, “4ever Squad” and “Ride-or-dies”.

According to legend, some of the groupchats in the graveyard may be haunted by the people who acquired your friends’ old phone numbers.

1: “What was the name of that guy I hooked up with at Sara’s brother’s wedding?”
2: “Check the groupchat graveyard hun.”

by daltonjfk October 30, 2019

Single man's ring

The circular imprint that develops in the skin of a wallet when a single man has carried an as-yet unused condom in it for too long.

Even after removing the contraceptive wang-sleeve (usually due to expiration rather than use), the single man's ring will usually persist for months to come. Upon close inspection, the single man's ring may occasionally be found pressed into banknotes and jeans pockets.

Wandering the bars on Wednesday night, Pete realised the single man's ring which had developed in his wallet announced to all bartenders that he was wedded to the sadboi life.

by daltonjfk October 26, 2019

No print no scan

Alternative for “facts”. As in, no print, no scan, just fax.

Pierre: “Predrinks at mine this Friday.”
Farouk: “No print no scan.”
Danilo: “Just fax.”

by daltonjfk August 30, 2019

Prince Alarming

Hot, charismatic guy whom you quickly realise is some seriously toxic bad news.

Irresistable with his deep voice, toned chest, and prickly stubble; owns a different quilted coat for every outfit and actually knows how to fold a pocket square. However, after not much time you realise he has more insecurities than a game of Jenga and more commitment issues than the New York Subway.

Yvonne: "I don't know...he's in the best frat, drives a Benz, looks like Apollo, has a house in Rapallo..."

Ciara: "Leave him. He may have the biceps of Zeus, but he's still just a douche. His smile's disarming, but he's still Prince Alarming..."

by daltonjfk October 3, 2019