daltonjfk's definitions
Eating whatever scraps and leftovers one can find in the house after returning home from a night out. Jigsaw guzzlers are known to piece together meals of cold pasta in Tupperwares, hummus with a spoon, entire packets of sliced ham, and heels of bread from 4 different loaves.
Often leads to couch pizza the following day.
Often leads to couch pizza the following day.
Arriving home 3 hours before her 8AM sociology class, Kendra stumbled into the kitchen and jigsaw guzzled her roommates’ cereal, popcorn, and secret stash of Cheetos before devouring Sasha’s entire block of Parmesan.
by daltonjfk October 3, 2019
Get the Jigsaw guzzle mug.The fatty, tasty Seamless/Deliveroo meal you get for free, but only because you have to stay at the office past midnight and can expense it.
New analysts learn to salt their onion rings with their own tears and draw faces on their burger buns to pretend they still have friends. After several hours of weeping over ketchup and Excel spreadsheets, the eater of a burger & cries will often send a “u up” text to the delivery driver.
New analysts learn to salt their onion rings with their own tears and draw faces on their burger buns to pretend they still have friends. After several hours of weeping over ketchup and Excel spreadsheets, the eater of a burger & cries will often send a “u up” text to the delivery driver.
Those muffled sounds you hear of crackling pickles, crumpling paper bags, and deep, despairing sobs are the analysts in the back digging into their nightly Burger & Cries
by daltonjfk November 27, 2019
Get the Burger & Cries mug.Hot, charismatic guy whom you quickly realise is some seriously toxic bad news.
Irresistable with his deep voice, toned chest, and prickly stubble; owns a different quilted coat for every outfit and actually knows how to fold a pocket square. However, after not much time you realise he has more insecurities than a game of Jenga and more commitment issues than the New York Subway.
Irresistable with his deep voice, toned chest, and prickly stubble; owns a different quilted coat for every outfit and actually knows how to fold a pocket square. However, after not much time you realise he has more insecurities than a game of Jenga and more commitment issues than the New York Subway.
Yvonne: "I don't know...he's in the best frat, drives a Benz, looks like Apollo, has a house in Rapallo..."
Ciara: "Leave him. He may have the biceps of Zeus, but he's still just a douche. His smile's disarming, but he's still Prince Alarming..."
Ciara: "Leave him. He may have the biceps of Zeus, but he's still just a douche. His smile's disarming, but he's still Prince Alarming..."
by daltonjfk October 3, 2019
Get the Prince Alarming mug.by daltonjfk August 30, 2019
Get the No print no scan mug.The circular imprint that develops in the skin of a wallet when a single man has carried an as-yet unused condom in it for too long.
Even after removing the contraceptive wang-sleeve (usually due to expiration rather than use), the single man's ring will usually persist for months to come. Upon close inspection, the single man's ring may occasionally be found pressed into banknotes and jeans pockets.
Even after removing the contraceptive wang-sleeve (usually due to expiration rather than use), the single man's ring will usually persist for months to come. Upon close inspection, the single man's ring may occasionally be found pressed into banknotes and jeans pockets.
Wandering the bars on Wednesday night, Pete realised the single man's ring which had developed in his wallet announced to all bartenders that he was wedded to the sadboi life.
by daltonjfk October 26, 2019
Get the Single man's ring mug.The first thing an alien buys after he drops his mixtape. Buckle is typically studded with space rocks.
“Zorg just released ‘Martian Sadboi’ and got straight into his rocket to go buy and Asteroid Gucci belt.”
by daltonjfk September 27, 2019
Get the Asteroid Gucci belt mug.The commando-in-chief. President of working from home in nothing but a shirt, gets dressed by invading the Dryrack. Went to Yale but says he's from Texas so his O&G coworkers will accept him.
Coworkers on the Teams call: "I think you're on mute, we can't hear you."
George W. F. H. Bush: "But I can hear you!"
George W. F. H. Bush: "But I can hear you!"
by daltonjfk September 24, 2021
Get the George W. F. H. Bush mug.