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daltonjfk's definitions

Nickelback crack

Mountain Dew, Monster, or any other high-sugar caffeinated soft drink to which white males aged 15-35 become addicted while listening intently and crying softly to the songs of Nickelback and Linkin Park.

Popular in suburban America but can be found elsewhere.
Trevor: “Yo Kyle’s put on a lot of weight since the summer started.”
Mikey: “Yeah bro, his girlfriend dumped him so he’s been playing cod and hitting that Nickelback crack.”
by daltonjfk September 1, 2019
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Quarterback contact

The one person in the group who puts in the effort to organise shit, text people individually, and round up the troops.

Quarterback contacts can be found orchestrating elaborate plays on WhatsApp and iMessage groups to trick the whole squad into getting together.

Every group needs one.
William knows exactly who to say is coming to each person in the group to get them to show up. He’s the admin of 4 group chats and is always on his phone. He is his group’s Quarterback Contact.
by daltonjfk September 23, 2019
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Couch pizza

Rogue slices of pizza discovered in the cracks of a couch after a long night of drinking and/or smoking the devil’s cabbage.

Often consumed, though always in secret.
After her third slice of couch pizza, Maria realised those little pepperoni were actually pennies.”
by daltonjfk September 16, 2019
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Groupchat graveyard

The mound of forgotten, forlorn groupchats piling up at the bottom of your messages list.

Tombstones in the groupchat graveyard often read “Ibiza 2016 🔥”, “Victoria’a bdayyyy”, or, more tragically, “4ever Squad” and “Ride-or-dies”.

According to legend, some of the groupchats in the graveyard may be haunted by the people who acquired your friends’ old phone numbers.
1: “What was the name of that guy I hooked up with at Sara’s brother’s wedding?”
2: “Check the groupchat graveyard hun.”
by daltonjfk October 30, 2019
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Seventh-inning wretch

A tactical vomit effected in order to continue a night out.

The seventh-inning wretch normally occurs between 11pm and 1am, when partygoers who mixed whiskey and beer or rum and wine at the pregame dash to the restroom to pitch forward and re-serve their dinner plate. The seventh-inning wretch is normally a solitary event but can also be a team effort.
When everyone decided spontaneously to go to a club after Neil’s pregame and the bar next door, I dashed to the facilities for a seventh-inning wretch so the bouncers wouldn’t see how plastered I was.
by daltonjfk November 4, 2019
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Mr. Clean's Dirty Secret

He has a foreigner cleaning his house.
His smug smile and white eyebrows give it all away - Mr. Clean's dirty secret arrives every Tuesday and Saturday and cleans his house with Shamwow.
by daltonjfk December 17, 2019
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Bruhquaintance

An acquaintance whom one is always delighted to see, but with whom the relationship never seems to progress beyond gregarious greetings and enthusiastic dapping and hugging.

Occurs frequently at parties. Two bruhquaintances may greet one another with grins and a loud “BRUHHH” but the conversation rarely goes anywhere.
“Ty and I always dap up mad when we see each other. He seems like a chiller but we never really talk about anything. He’s my bruhquaintance.”
by daltonjfk September 10, 2019
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