52 definitions by daltonjfk

Alternative for “facts”. As in, no print, no scan, just fax.
Pierre: “Predrinks at mine this Friday.”
Farouk: “No print no scan.”
Danilo: “Just fax.”
by daltonjfk August 30, 2019
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A blunt so fat it looks like it used to be a tree.
Darryl rolled up a Snoop Logg and we all got high as hawks.
by daltonjfk August 30, 2019
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The statue of dirty clothes that develops on the chair or floor in a bedroom.

Stained by red wine and the sands of time. Thought by experts to be a sacrifice to Tide Pods.
When entering Victor's room, please be sure to step around the six-foot Tide Shrine making its way from his closet to his chaise longue.
by daltonjfk December 19, 2019
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Expression pronounced by someone who has just heard a joke or story of such high comic value that the listener is instantly deceased. The listener may request an urn from their friends in which to store their remains safely for posterity.

Those who prefer enterrement to cremation may alternatively request “coffin pls”.
1: “Did you hear about Gary swimming naked in his boss’s koi pond while stoned.”
2: “Fetch me an urn please.”
by daltonjfk September 30, 2019
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an individual of such immeasurable stature that he may be mistaken for a terrestrial rock formation. Attracts enthusiasts but should be attempted only by trained professionals.
Liam: “Whoa dude, there’s a pair of legs over there at the bar all by themselves!”
Wolfrick: “Nah bro, lean your head back and you’ll see it’s really a Count Everest
by daltonjfk August 30, 2019
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The mound of forgotten, forlorn groupchats piling up at the bottom of your messages list.

Tombstones in the groupchat graveyard often read “Ibiza 2016 🔥”, “Victoria’a bdayyyy”, or, more tragically, “4ever Squad” and “Ride-or-dies”.

According to legend, some of the groupchats in the graveyard may be haunted by the people who acquired your friends’ old phone numbers.
1: “What was the name of that guy I hooked up with at Sara’s brother’s wedding?”
2: “Check the groupchat graveyard hun.”
by daltonjfk October 30, 2019
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When Layla-Ann accused Melrose of having worn leather shoelaces on Monday, I knew the two of them were about to start tofu.
by daltonjfk September 23, 2019
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