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daltonjfk's definitions

Mess chess

The act of hiding one’s dirty dishes under their roommate’s dirty dishes in the sink.

Gives the impression that the Mess Chess player has not contributed to the rising pile and allows him to pin the blame on his unsuspecting roommate. Expert-level players will make sure to eat the same thing their roommate last ate in order to hoodwink and bamboozle him into thinking the dishes are all his.
“Louie will never realise those extra plates I stashed under the pan he left in the sink are mine. I’ve checkmated him in Mess Chess.”
by daltonjfk September 8, 2019
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Narco Polo

Your friend who goes to the Far East and comes back wearing silk and addicted to a drug you've never heard of.

Whereas Marco Polo brought pasta from China to Europe, this douchebag just brings werid pipes he claims form part of the local custom, but where in fact sold to him by locals playing him for the fool he is.

Probably converted to Buddhism to his gap year but doesn't understand it at all.
Yann: "Payton's back from his gap year in Southeast Asia. He's been wearing silk and smoking some weird powder."
Tyson: “Oh good. Narco Polo has returned.”
by daltonjfk October 3, 2019
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Film shrapnel

That one little bit of popcorn that lives between your teeth for three days after you see a film.
I had a sentimental moment today when my tongue finally got that film shrapnel out of my teeth and we said a last goodbye.
by daltonjfk August 30, 2019
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Sky high January

What everyone doing Dry January has secretly started by the middle of the month.

They may not be washing back Buds with Whiskey suds, but don’t be fooled. They’re high as balls.
Ah yes, Leonard and Celine back at their old charade - pushing the wine glasses away as if we didn’t know they’re in full-blown Sky High January mode and smoked three blunts before they came to dinner.
by daltonjfk January 17, 2020
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Kim Jong Tune

A song so lit the masses submit to it unconditionally. Individuals of all music tastes have no choice but to adore its fat, wobbling rhythms. To criticise a Kim Jong Tune is a serious cultural heresy.

That fire drops like a nuclear bomb.
Back in the summer of 2015 I told people I didn’t like “Lean On”. The ensuing social ostracism I endured helped me understand that the song was in fact a Kim Jong Tune.
by daltonjfk September 23, 2019
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Hostile sleepover

The decision by numerous drunk and high party guests to sleep over at the hosts’ house without proper permission.

As in a hostile takeover, these party-shareholders acquire the target’s assets, such as sofa cushions and armchairs, and force the hosts to accept the merging of their bedrooms into communal cesspools.

The aftermath of a hostile sleepover may see animosity between the hosts and the guests, as well as the gutting of hosts’ refrigerators and towels as guests seek to serve short-term hunger and hygiene needs.
Mitchell and Andrew had a Halloween party, everyone brought a plus one, and by 2AM with six people passed out on the couch and on the floor, it was clear a hostile sleepover was about to take place.
by daltonjfk October 30, 2019
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Like laundering

Liking one’s own instagram post from a secondary account. Dupes unsuspecting followers into believing the poster is one like more popular than they actually are.
“The main reason I started a meme page was to get into like laundering my own posts.”
by daltonjfk September 8, 2019
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