A late-night Uber Pool packed full of passed-out passengers.
Urban mythology has long recounted tales of supposed hookups enjoyed by friends of friends in the backseat of Honda Insights heading from the cluburbs to the suburbs in the early morning hours, though in reality these vehicles are filled only with the smell of tequila and sound of snoring.
Urban mythology has long recounted tales of supposed hookups enjoyed by friends of friends in the backseat of Honda Insights heading from the cluburbs to the suburbs in the early morning hours, though in reality these vehicles are filled only with the smell of tequila and sound of snoring.
1: “You drank 12 Monacos last night before you disappeared - how did you even get home?”
2. “Called a Slumber Pool and asked the driver to marry me when we got back Uptown.”
2. “Called a Slumber Pool and asked the driver to marry me when we got back Uptown.”
by daltonjfk October 30, 2019
To go on a date with oneself.
Lonewolf love and self care to the max. To lay out a spread of charcuterie, wine, and dark chocolate on the river bank; to unicycle into the satin-colored sunset, complimenting yourself on the summer outfit; when you return home, to look in the mirror, tell yourself "my treat," and then to blush.
Lonewolf love and self care to the max. To lay out a spread of charcuterie, wine, and dark chocolate on the river bank; to unicycle into the satin-colored sunset, complimenting yourself on the summer outfit; when you return home, to look in the mirror, tell yourself "my treat," and then to blush.
Now that I’m single I’ll be arguing with myself over who pays the bill and eating all my own popcorn. First-wheeling with no handlebars.
by daltonjfk September 23, 2019
Any place where sadbois congregate and lament their woes.
Can be a college dorm, a bar table, a Volkswagen Polo, an actual villa, or any other place, provided multiple sadbois are present. Typically smells of Juul smoke.
Can be a college dorm, a bar table, a Volkswagen Polo, an actual villa, or any other place, provided multiple sadbois are present. Typically smells of Juul smoke.
Hanna: “Want to go to Harvey and Tom’s party tonight?”
Tanya: “Oh god, a party at the sadboi villa and waking up with Juul lung in Max’s spindly arms? I’ll pass.”
Tanya: “Oh god, a party at the sadboi villa and waking up with Juul lung in Max’s spindly arms? I’ll pass.”
by daltonjfk September 08, 2019
A song so lit the masses submit to it unconditionally. Individuals of all music tastes have no choice but to adore its fat, wobbling rhythms. To criticise a Kim Jong Tune is a serious cultural heresy.
That fire drops like a nuclear bomb.
That fire drops like a nuclear bomb.
Back in the summer of 2015 I told people I didn’t like “Lean On”. The ensuing social ostracism I endured helped me understand that the song was in fact a Kim Jong Tune.
by daltonjfk September 23, 2019
romantic relationship status achieved when both partners have each other's names in all lowercase in their phones
just because you stay over every night, we go on trips together, take our children to disneyland, and have each other in our wills does NOT mean you and i are ready to be lowercase official babe
by daltonjfk October 26, 2019
Clara: “Why does it look like you’ve been keeping a cannonball on the middle of your bed?”
Fiona: “Oh that? That’s just my shag nook.”
Fiona: “Oh that? That’s just my shag nook.”
by daltonjfk September 23, 2019
A tactical vomit effected in order to continue a night out.
The seventh-inning wretch normally occurs between 11pm and 1am, when partygoers who mixed whiskey and beer or rum and wine at the pregame dash to the restroom to pitch forward and re-serve their dinner plate. The seventh-inning wretch is normally a solitary event but can also be a team effort.
The seventh-inning wretch normally occurs between 11pm and 1am, when partygoers who mixed whiskey and beer or rum and wine at the pregame dash to the restroom to pitch forward and re-serve their dinner plate. The seventh-inning wretch is normally a solitary event but can also be a team effort.
When everyone decided spontaneously to go to a club after Neil’s pregame and the bar next door, I dashed to the facilities for a seventh-inning wretch so the bouncers wouldn’t see how plastered I was.
by daltonjfk November 04, 2019