affluent geoffrey's definitions

New Bedford Splatter

When you shit your pants after eating linguica.

Lou: hey bro wanna go chill on my boat?
Bobby: sure but I gotta go home to change my pants.
Lou: why??
Bobby: New Bedford Splatter.
Lou: ??????????????
Bobby: had linguica for lunch.
Lou: ????????
Bobby: mad diarrhea bro.
Lou: you sick fuck. Get out of my car now!
Bobby: sorry bro.

by affluent geoffrey July 20, 2019

ladyfriend

A code word often used by closeted gay men to describe their gay lovers.

"I am straight but my ladyfriend likes to go dancing at the gay nightclubs in Providence."

by affluent geoffrey January 31, 2020

panchilly

The ultimate compliment in the coding world. A large step above elite. A panchilly coder is in high demand and typically earns 300k.

"Kid you may be 1337 but I am panchilly as fuck. Recognize."

by affluent geoffrey August 11, 2019

Sophia Richie

Daughter of musician Lionel Richie. She is a model and hot AF.

Sophia Richie is hotter than any of the Kardashians.

by affluent geoffrey October 7, 2019

JP

Acronym for the Boston neighborhood Jamaica Plain. Diversity is celebrated in JP. It's not uncommon to see affluent college kids intermingling with disadvantaged inner city youths at the public parks where playing basketball and smoking marijuana is a way of life.

"Hey lets go to JP to play some hoops and blaze up with the homeboys."

by affluent geoffrey January 31, 2020

Unwashed Masses

Unsophisticated people of a low socioeconomic status that don't eat lobster rolls for dinner at least twice a week.

Son: I'm hungry.
Mother: Do you want hot dogs or ramen noodles?
Son: Can we have lobster rolls?
Mother: No, lobster is too expensive.
Son: But all my friends...
Mother: I don't give a fuck what your friends eat you ungrateful little bastard.
Son: But mom...
Mother: There will be no lobster rolls in this house. Ever.
Son: You bitch!
Mother: Go to your room.
Son: Sorry mom. Can we get a Subaru?
Mother: This family does not drive a Subaru or eat lobster rolls.
Son: Why?
Mother: Because we are proudly among the unwashed masses. We are trash.
Son: Ok.
Mother: Don't forget you have therapy tomorrow at 3:30.

by affluent geoffrey July 21, 2019

Sour Patch Momma

A wealthy older woman that provides a monetary allowance in exchange for eating her rancid twat.

"Holly asked me if she can be my Sour Patch Momma. She said she'd give me $500 a week and buy me a Popeye's Chicken Sandwich. I'm gonna do it!"

by affluent geoffrey September 16, 2019