Yopmail User's definitions

The Emoji Movie

If you, by some miracle, are actually thinking of watching this school shooting of a "movie," please dial the Suicide Hotline: [phone]. Watching it is, to say the least, an incredibly painful way to fucking die. And to those of you who have watched it, I wish you'd known how much you'd be missed before then.

The Emoji Movie makes the Holocaust look fucking hilarious.

by Yopmail User April 10, 2023

Imgflip

Twitter for retarded tweens. This shitty meme site for faggots is plagued its extremely toxic community that acts like the entitled fucks they are over the most retarded reasons. A huge chunk of the userbase, mostly consisting of said faggots, gang rapes their brethren as soon as they post anything pertaining to upvotes. These faggots are the ones posting shitty "memes" that can and will give you Ebola and AIDS. There are a handful of normal, sensible people there, but that doesn't say much.

The clusterfuck of a faggotcopter we like to call Imgflip can go fuck itself to Hell and back.

by Yopmail User April 10, 2023

Fridge

To put on a condom, freeze your dick in a fridge, and anally and vaginally penetrate your girlfriend with the frozen condom on. To spice things up a bit, put some crushed ghost pepper in the condom and attempt to break the icy condom as you penetrate her.

I nearly rendered the both of us sterile after I spicily fridged my girlfriend.

by Yopmail User April 10, 2023

Rubik's Cube

To pour six cans of paint on your head (each of them representing colors on an actual Rubik's Cube), which you penetrate your girlfriend's ass and vagina with (either order is fine) while ramming it as far up as possible and violently nodding during both processes for maximum pleasure. Consent is not required.

That kid's vagina smelled great during that Rubik's Cube. Her ass was not so beautiful.

by Yopmail User April 11, 2023

Richard Nixon

This is when two or more males engage in mutual masturbation, then dock each other just before they ejaculate. The docking must last as long as it takes for the cum to harden on both of their dicks. After that, they must attempt to separate the heads of their dicks in the most painful ways possible.

I used to be a pariah like you until I Richard Nixoned 78 thirteen-year-old boys.

by Yopmail User April 12, 2023

Limerick

DEFINITION
There once was a dude from Yopmail
Whose struggle against boredom was a fail
So he hopped on UrbDic(k)
And wrote this limerick
Enjoy the rest, you diseased toenail

A Bunch of Limericks by Yopmail User

RICK
There once was a dick named Rick
Who fucked his nephew's daughters for kicks
His son ate ten dimes
Then fucked tigers twelve times
And proudly sucked a monkey's dick

CHRIS HANSEN
There once was a Brit with a snare
Who raped a few kids for a dare
He then wet his bed
When Chris Hansen said
"Why don't you have a seat over there?"

OBSCENE
There once was a poem so obscene
It made all its readers drink bromine
They thought it was time
To shit on a mime
And fuck his dead body for hygiene

THE SHITTY DECK POEM
There once was a kid on a deck
Who fell over and broke his neck
Someone raped the dude
And was promptly sued
He now qualifies for a penis check

MASTURBATION
A kid once beat off to his dog
Who unwillingly sucked his big log
The dog saw a tick
And bit off the kid's dick
Then took a big shit on a frog

by Yopmail User January 16, 2023

Avatar: The Way of Water

-This shit happens more than ten years after the fucking prequel.
-Humans invade Pandora.
-The dead guy named Miles Quaritch turns out to be blue and alive.

-Jake's kids get kidnapped and freed (Spider being an exception).
-Jake and his family move to the fucking ocean.
-Lo'ak (Jake's son) fights some dude and almost gets fucking eaten by a predator.
-A tulkun named Payakan saves him (he's ostracized because he fought with the dudes who killed his mother).
-Kiri has a seizure. She lives because muh plot armor.
-Quaritch massacres the fucking tulkuns. Their brains prevent aging.
-Jake and his family get trapped in a sunken vessel (Payakan attacks it and kills the crew earlier).
-Lo'ak, Tsireya (Metkayina princess), and Tuk (Jack's daughter) get captured and live.
-Neteyam (Jake's son) dies. The other kids live.
-Quaritch holds Kiri (Jake's daughter) hostage until Neytiri (Jake's wife) cuts Spider's chest with a knife.
-Spider saves Quaritch and fucking stays on Pandora.
-Jake and his family stay underwater.

Avatar: The Way of Water sucks ass. Read these spoilers instead.

by Yopmail User December 18, 2022