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Definitions by Uncle Joosie

Performance Deza

"Deza"—or soviet disinformation—is what Trump uses every damn day in an attempt to distract Americans with fucking bullshit so they forget the Russia scandal.
Donald "Cletus" Trump used his most-dramatic Performance Deza when he released audio of his agreeing to pay a hooker named Cherysh through his fixer Michael Cohen—which was to distract from Trump-Russia.

Farmer Welfare 

when Trump tries to bribe farmers to say sorry for his tariff fuck-up.
Donald Trump & his official assholes arranged for taxpayers to fund $12B in Farmer Welfare so they'll shut their yap before the midterm elections.
Farmer Welfare by Uncle Joosie July 25, 2018

Handjob in Helsinki 

Trump's sole purpose for his "summit" with Putin.
Donnie Trump recently flew Air Force One to pleasure his Russian boss, Vlad Putin, with a handjob in Helsinki.

Doggie ADD (DADD) 

Sparky the terrier had Doggie ADD (DADD) *so bad* that he couldn't walk straight on the sidewalk or finish his meal without being distracted by a squirrel.

Resting Vagina Hands 

when a male politician is so scared by a woman that their default position is resting their hands in the shape of a vagina.
Donald Trump met with Angie Merkel and was so frightened that he went right to his Resting Vagina Hands.

Size Queen Radar 

when a knowledgeable fan of big cocks can easily spot a guy sporting impressive meat.
Travis noticed a lanky guy walking down the street and used his trusty Size Queen Radar to determine that yes that dude was hung like a rhino.

resting constipation face

Tucker Carlson's grimaced look every night on Fox News.
Tucker Carlson was interviewing Glenn Greenwald on Fixed Noise with resting constipation face as they both slammed Hillary for sending some email.