Definitions by Tuftskins
problem saturation
A process by which Mainstream Media addresses an issue incessantly, building up to a sense of pending doom. Of course, the problem, while worrisome, does not pose the grave threat they would like you to believe. Finally, MSM abandons coverage of the problem completely, moving on to another problem.
"Honey, why don't we hear any news about the drug cartels anymore?"
"That was last month's problem saturation, dear."
"That was last month's problem saturation, dear."
problem saturation by Tuftskins April 30, 2009
turd insecurity
A public restroom phenomenon in which the turd dumper needs complete privacy in order to do their thing. The presence of another person in the adjacent stall, or even the restroom, will cause sphincters to pucker to less than a 1 cm.
This is especially true if the turd dumper knows he/she is going to have an embarrassing explosive turd, complete with lots of gas and splashing sounds.
Two persons with turd insecurity in adjacent stalls results in a very uncomfortable , time consuming experience for both. A solution is to flush the toilet in sync with dumping the turd, hopefully masking the dump.
This is especially true if the turd dumper knows he/she is going to have an embarrassing explosive turd, complete with lots of gas and splashing sounds.
Two persons with turd insecurity in adjacent stalls results in a very uncomfortable , time consuming experience for both. A solution is to flush the toilet in sync with dumping the turd, hopefully masking the dump.
His sphincter tight with turd insecurity, Steve hoped the person in the next stall would leave. In the next stall, Mark harbored the same hopes.
turd insecurity by Tuftskins April 30, 2009
flush and dump
Differing from a shit and split, a flush and dump is often done out of consideration, or due to turd insecurity.
The action involves expelling a turd at the same time one hits the flush lever on a toilet.
This is done to mask a noisy turd in a public restroom or to quickly get rid of a smelly turd before it renders a bathroom uninhabitable.
The action involves expelling a turd at the same time one hits the flush lever on a toilet.
This is done to mask a noisy turd in a public restroom or to quickly get rid of a smelly turd before it renders a bathroom uninhabitable.
Since it was his first time at her house, Andrew courteously performed a flush and dump in Martha's bathroom, vastly improving his chances of scoring that night.
flush and dump by Tuftskins April 30, 2009
Shit Santa
Someone who leaves a turd behind in a toilet, usually public. Usually, this "gift" is well wrapped with toilet paper and so large that the toilet cannot be flushed safely.
Like Santa Claus, Shit Santa is legendary and never seen. Unlike Santa Claus, Shit Santa operates 365 days a year, and no one looks forward to his visits.
Like Santa Claus, Shit Santa is legendary and never seen. Unlike Santa Claus, Shit Santa operates 365 days a year, and no one looks forward to his visits.
Shit Santa by Tuftskins April 30, 2009
Bureaucrap
A lazy, paper-shuffling government worker. Bureaucrap's main duty is spending all money they are allotted by any means necessary, then asking for more the next fiscal year. Bureaucraps perpetuate the problems they are assigned to solve, as this is job security.
Upon realizing there was still $200,000 in the department's budget, bureaucrap Dan successfully arranged five seminars dealing with "Diversity in a Mid-Level Management Paradigm."
Bureaucrap by Tuftskins April 29, 2009
Biocarpetous
Biocarpetous by Tuftskins April 29, 2009
clignioles
clignioles by Tuftskins April 29, 2009