Definitions by Tuftskins
lie-ence
Science supported by made up facts or fudged data. Junk science.
Man-caused Globull Warming and any "scientific studies" touted by late night infomercials are lie-ence.
The practitioners of lie-ence may be called lie-entists to distinguish them from other liars.
Man-caused Globull Warming and any "scientific studies" touted by late night infomercials are lie-ence.
The practitioners of lie-ence may be called lie-entists to distinguish them from other liars.
Bill: "Wow! This scientific study says Snake Oil will increase the size of my penis!"
Krystin: "Don't be a sucker. That sounds like lie-ence to me."
Krystin: "Don't be a sucker. That sounds like lie-ence to me."
sausage saloon
A bar whose inhabitants are almost entirely male. Sausage saloons differ from gay bars in that the clientele is straight; mostly working stiffs and pensioners enjoying a cold one. Not bad places to hang out, but don't go there looking to score chicks.
Moe's Tavern would be a classic example.
Moe's Tavern would be a classic example.
Dan: "Damn, that 90-year old barmaid is the only chick in here!"
Tony: "Yeah, this is a sausage saloon. Let's finish our beers and check out the action at that place down the street."
Tony: "Yeah, this is a sausage saloon. Let's finish our beers and check out the action at that place down the street."
sausage saloon by tuftskins December 9, 2009
trucker's toilet
A large mouthed plastic bottle (think Gatorade) used by a trucker in lieu of other facilities. True road kings can use one while holding 65. Some truckers dispose of trucker's toilets by tossing them out the window, and if you keep an eye out, you'll spot these half-full gems along interstates everywhere.
With a wind chill of -40 on Wyoming's I-80, Todd decided to forgo the Rest Area. The trucker's toilet in the heated cab of his Kenworth came in real handy.
trucker's toilet by tuftskins November 30, 2009
poll sucker
Someone who relies heavily on political or other polls. Even though the media conducts polls on a seemingly daily basis, it is hard to find anyone who has actually been contacted, or knows someone who has. This tends to support the theory that pollsters are actually the guy who passes the bong to the journalist as they snicker like school girls over their snow job.
The poll sucker, however, views polls as infallible. They will even quote poll numbers in an argument.
The poll sucker, however, views polls as infallible. They will even quote poll numbers in an argument.
Shirley: "Wow, Dick Cheney's approval rating is higher than Obama's!"
Lou: "Don't be such a poll sucker. Someone pulled those figures out of their butt."
Lou: "Don't be such a poll sucker. Someone pulled those figures out of their butt."
poll sucker by Tuftskins June 2, 2009
nigger spider
A black spider. Not a Black Widow, since those are easily defined. Just one of those anonymous black spiders that probably have names, but only a professor who studies spiders would know them.
nigger spider by Tuftskins June 1, 2009
explosion trailer
A trailer for a movie with heavy use of explosions. The term "explosion trailer" is always preceded by a number indicating the amount of explosions.
Explosion trailers are light on serious dialogue and the audience is sometimes left wondering what the movie is about, other than explosions. The number of fourteen-year old boys who will see the movie increases exponentially with the number of explosions in the trailer.
Usually, a movie with an explosion trailer is not considered Oscar-worthy, unless it is for special effects. For the life of me, I can't recall an explosion trailer featuring Meryl Streep.
Explosion trailers are light on serious dialogue and the audience is sometimes left wondering what the movie is about, other than explosions. The number of fourteen-year old boys who will see the movie increases exponentially with the number of explosions in the trailer.
Usually, a movie with an explosion trailer is not considered Oscar-worthy, unless it is for special effects. For the life of me, I can't recall an explosion trailer featuring Meryl Streep.
After seeing the seven-explosion trailer for Timecop III, all the boys in Ms. Shull's 9th grade homeroom couldn't wait to see it.
explosion trailer by Tuftskins May 6, 2009
penis candy
1) A hot chick. Very similar to eye candy, the terms can be interchangeable. But if a girl is penis candy, guys want to do more than just look at her.
2) A girl capable of causing an instant erection.
3) Viagra or similar pills.
2) A girl capable of causing an instant erection.
3) Viagra or similar pills.
"Check out Megan, she's sooo hot!"
"Yeah, she's penis candy."
"Viagra is penis candy."
"Don't need no Viagra. Just watching her walk puts a rise in my Levis."
"Yeah, she's penis candy."
"Viagra is penis candy."
"Don't need no Viagra. Just watching her walk puts a rise in my Levis."
penis candy by Tuftskins May 2, 2009