Tuftskins's definitions

trucker's toilet

A large mouthed plastic bottle (think Gatorade) used by a trucker in lieu of other facilities. True road kings can use one while holding 65. Some truckers dispose of trucker's toilets by tossing them out the window, and if you keep an eye out, you'll spot these half-full gems along interstates everywhere.

With a wind chill of -40 on Wyoming's I-80, Todd decided to forgo the Rest Area. The trucker's toilet in the heated cab of his Kenworth came in real handy.

by tuftskins November 30, 2009

Bureaucrap

A lazy, paper-shuffling government worker. Bureaucrap's main duty is spending all money they are allotted by any means necessary, then asking for more the next fiscal year. Bureaucraps perpetuate the problems they are assigned to solve, as this is job security.

Upon realizing there was still $200,000 in the department's budget, bureaucrap Dan successfully arranged five seminars dealing with "Diversity in a Mid-Level Management Paradigm."

by Tuftskins April 29, 2009

flush and dump

Differing from a shit and split, a flush and dump is often done out of consideration, or due to turd insecurity.

The action involves expelling a turd at the same time one hits the flush lever on a toilet.

This is done to mask a noisy turd in a public restroom or to quickly get rid of a smelly turd before it renders a bathroom uninhabitable.

Since it was his first time at her house, Andrew courteously performed a flush and dump in Martha's bathroom, vastly improving his chances of scoring that night.

by Tuftskins April 30, 2009

Shit Santa

Someone who leaves a turd behind in a toilet, usually public. Usually, this "gift" is well wrapped with toilet paper and so large that the toilet cannot be flushed safely.

Like Santa Claus, Shit Santa is legendary and never seen. Unlike Santa Claus, Shit Santa operates 365 days a year, and no one looks forward to his visits.

Don't use that toilet, dude. Shit Santa left a real nasty one.

by Tuftskins April 30, 2009

cracker rap

Commercial country music. Not the classic stuff, but the twangy modern mass marketed country that's all about trucks, cowboy hats, etc.

Like rap music, every singer sounds the same and sings about the same stuff. Unlike rap, it's aimed at white people, or at least some white people.

Rap for hicks.

It seemed like every truck stop Jamie stopped at between Minneapolis and Spokane was blaring cracker rap on the outside speakers.

by tuftskins January 19, 2010

trooting

From Television Rooting. Rooting for your favorite sports team on TV when you can't be at the game.

While trooting has no effect on team morale or energy, it is practiced religiously by fans in sports bars and living rooms everywhere. Trooting may also contain more profanity than ordinary rooting, depending on the venue.

The guys down at Paddy's Bar were all trooting for the Bulls to win.

by Tuftskins May 1, 2009

problem saturation

A process by which Mainstream Media addresses an issue incessantly, building up to a sense of pending doom. Of course, the problem, while worrisome, does not pose the grave threat they would like you to believe. Finally, MSM abandons coverage of the problem completely, moving on to another problem.

"Honey, why don't we hear any news about the drug cartels anymore?"

"That was last month's problem saturation, dear."

by Tuftskins April 30, 2009