Shit Santa

Someone who leaves a turd behind in a toilet, usually public. Usually, this "gift" is well wrapped with toilet paper and so large that the toilet cannot be flushed safely.

Like Santa Claus, Shit Santa is legendary and never seen. Unlike Santa Claus, Shit Santa operates 365 days a year, and no one looks forward to his visits.
Don't use that toilet, dude. Shit Santa left a real nasty one.
by Tuftskins April 30, 2009
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butt picker

A loser who mooches off of others until his/her times runs out. See also "couch surfer". Butt pickers lack any sort of motivation. Some are sociopaths, true users, but most are lazy indolent types who seek out helping hands to screw over. Get a life, butt pickers.
Although he was a talented carpenter, Johnny was too lazy to find a steady job, and instead chose to lounge around as a butt picker, watching the TV and eating the food of whoever bought his sorry stories.
by tuftskins May 22, 2010
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poll sucker

Someone who relies heavily on political or other polls. Even though the media conducts polls on a seemingly daily basis, it is hard to find anyone who has actually been contacted, or knows someone who has. This tends to support the theory that pollsters are actually the guy who passes the bong to the journalist as they snicker like school girls over their snow job.

The poll sucker, however, views polls as infallible. They will even quote poll numbers in an argument.
Shirley: "Wow, Dick Cheney's approval rating is higher than Obama's!"

Lou: "Don't be such a poll sucker. Someone pulled those figures out of their butt."
by Tuftskins June 02, 2009
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Farrow

(verb); also "Farrowed"

To put under a love spell. To completely intoxicate and arouse with a combination of mystery, humor, wit, sexiness, intelligence, spark, and dark passion.
Matt: "Roger, what's up with you? You look like you're on Cloud fucking 9!"

Roger: "Ahh, I have been Farrowed, my friend. Sooo nice!"
by tuftskins March 20, 2010
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Teahag

A female leftist reporter who covers TEA parties. Too arrogant to believe free speech applies to anyone but them, these womyn make snide jokes and/or ask pointed derisive questions of exasperated taxpayers exercising their right to assembly. Rumor has it they are just doing what their bosses told them to, after their hiring session on the news network's version of the casting couch.

CNN's Susan Roesgen and M(etro)S(exual)NBC's Rachel Madcow are excellent examples.
MSNBC teahag Rachel Maddow insults protesters in a puerile attempt at infotainment.
by Tuftskins April 18, 2009
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duck call

A very noisy, prolonged fart. It produces an artificial quacking noise similar to a hunter's duck call.

Such farts are produced by expelling a tremendous amount of gas quickly. They are uncomfortable, and do not attract ducks.
Damn! That duck call sounded like it blew your ass out!
by Tuftskins May 01, 2009
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rise in my Levi's

An erection. One does not have to be wearing Levi's when stating thus, or even own a pair. It just sounds cool to say it.

But if you are wearing purple corduroy's while you use this line, someone is likely to make fun of you.
Babe, you put a rise in my Levi's!
by Tuftskins May 02, 2009
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