That’s my little monkey

A thing single moms say before showing someone who didn’t ask a picture of their child.

*waiting for meeting to start*
Fat Chick: That’s my little monkey *shows phone to co-worker*
Co-Worker: …

by TheAlwaysCorrect1 January 06, 2023

And more!!!

What females put on their dating profile after listing their only 2 hobbies that involve 0 activity to make them not sound boring despite the fact that both of these hobbies are done by themselves.

“I like reading, watching tv, and more!!!“

by TheAlwaysCorrect1 January 06, 2023

We Will Fuck Tonight

The ultimate get laid drink. Best made when you bring a girl over and ask what she wants and she says she’ll drink anything. This cocktail consists of:
1 oz Jack Daniels Dark Bourbon
2 oz Crown Royal Maple Whisky
1 oz Smirnoff Strawberry Vodka
1 oz Don Julio Tequila

Splash of vanilla
2 oz lime juice

Shake it over ice and add one lime wedge and top it off with cola.

What can I get you to drink?

“We will fuck tonight.”
Uh I asked what you wanted to- oh wait…I get it. One We Will Fuck Tonight comin up!

by TheAlwaysCorrect1 December 19, 2021

Becky from Behind

Having pity sex with a girl who is over 5’ tall but under 5’6” while her boyfriend is out of town after she told you a long story about how he beats her. Usually performed with waaaayyy too much lube and no where near enough effort from either side. These are typically followed by finding out that she is full of shit and that her boyfriend is actually the nicest guy in the world, volunteers at three different organizations, and works overtime to pay all the bills while his useless bitch stays home and gives him a Gawk Gawk 5000 once every 4 weeks.

Any fun this weekend.

Man, I had a Becky from Behind.

Damn.

by TheAlwaysCorrect1 December 19, 2021

Gawk Gawk 5000

The best blowjob known to man to signify that she is a keeper. A Gawk Gawk 5000 is a bj that consists of her preferring to please you to the highest level possible while giving up her autoimmune desire for oxygen. The term derives it’s name from the sound that comes out of their larynx in between dick thrusts. The best women usually can make this sound 8-10 consecutive times followed by a dying, autonomic gasp for oxygen with a significant amount of associated saliva pouring out of her mouth.

How was it with your FWB last night?

Duuuuude. She gave a top notch Gawk Gawk 5000.

Daaaaammmn bro.

by TheAlwaysCorrect1 December 19, 2021

Brittany Blaster

Having extremely rough pity sex with a broken condom in the back of a 1998-2007 vehicle with a morbidly obese chick that you met online while eating a cold cut combo from Subway without Mayo on a partly cloudy Tuesday before 5pm

Can’t wait for my Brittany blaster this afternoon

by TheAlwaysCorrect1 November 27, 2021

Heyyy

Opening line used by females on dating apps. Actual translation reads as “I don’t relate to anything on your profile, I have no interests besides social media and being alone, and have zero creativity so I’m going to put in the least amount of effort in to making you interested in me so that I can get mad and call you a fuckboy when you only reply with hi.”

*dating match*

Hmmm what should I say to make him interested? …oh I know…
Heyyy
“Hi”
Wow he put in like no effort in that reply. What a fuckboy. *unmatch*

by TheAlwaysCorrect1 June 24, 2022