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Roth Vantage's definitions

Mercury

That was the car I was drivin' that day, y'know. Had a lotta cars. Yeah, different kinds... Lotta different kinds of cars...

She was standing, this girl, on the side of the street where there was this chicken stand, wasn't the Colonel, but it was a chicken stand nevertheless. And, uh, I pulled the Mercury right up alongside her and rolled down the window, you see, by electric power. And, uh, she had this leather skirt on. And, she had a lot of hair on her arms. I like that, I like that a lot, that means a big bush. I like a big bush, y'know.

So, she says, uh, "Are you dating?", y'know? I said, "Sure". So, she gets in and we pull off into this, uh, y'know, remote location, you know, that was comfortable for both she and I, and she says to me, "How much do you wanna spend?", and I said, "Whatever it takes to see that bush of yours, 'cause I know it's a big one", and she says to me, "Twenty five dollars". Hm. That's not chicken feed, y'know, to a... working man. So, I produce the $25, she sticks it down into her shoe, pulls up her skirt... and there, before me, lay this thin, crooked, uncircumcised penis. Pfff.
by Roth Vantage July 4, 2021
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mastodonic

Adjective used to describe a huge, gigantic penis. Named after the mastodons, an extint species of elephants.

Synonym: elephant cock
I'm going to rape you with my mastodonic 300-mile long cock.
by Roth Vantage January 5, 2015
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post-toilet shit disorder

1. Parody of PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder)
2. Repeated incidents of having to shit more right after leaving the bathroom after a bathroom episode is thought to be finished. See also: second-wave shit
Why's Jimmy always take half an hour to take a shit? He's always late for the football game.
I don't know, I think he's got post-toilet shit disorder
by Roth Vantage November 19, 2014
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Johnny Carson

I woke up hungover as hell and made myself a Johnny Carson.
by Roth Vantage October 21, 2017
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play with your prick

1. To masturbate
2. To procrastinate; waste time; do nothing

Synonyms: jerk off
What are you gonna do, play with your prick for another 30 years?
by Roth Vantage October 26, 2014
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Hairy Potter

The act of sticking a broomstick up your ass and then running around with it while holding your erect cock with both of your hands.

For extra points, urinate profusely while doing it.
Look, Larry's doing a Hairy Potter again!
by Roth Vantage September 23, 2015
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heidnik

Term for ground coffee.

Named so for kidnapper and rapist Gary Heidnik, who "ground up" a black woman's flesh and served it as food to his hostages.
Barista: "What would you like to order, sir?"
Customer: "I like my coffee like I like my women - black, strong, proud and ground up in my cellar. Oh yeah, I'll take it Heidnik."
by Roth Vantage July 14, 2016
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