Definitions by QuacksO
triggernometry
High school senior: I still don't understand why the math teacher insisted that our class learn triggernometry --- I'm a staunch pacifist, so I don't even like guns; why the heck do I need to learn about 'em if the subject will never even come up in my ordinary daily life??
triggernometry by QuacksO March 3, 2017
ancient methology
Medieval Greek/Roman science/biological-fantasy fiction written by supposedly-learned scholars who were merely trippin' out on drugs during their periods of scroll-writing, and so their fantastical hieroglyphic tales came primarily from just their own deranged-brain ramblings, rather than being rooted in any historical facts or beliefs.
I have never understood why ancient methology should be a required subject in high school --- what earthly use to the average American is knowledge of morbid-fairly-tale stuff that was written down many centuries ago, especially when it originated in a far-off country and wasn't even true to begin with??
ancient methology by QuacksO March 3, 2017
shoulder-scrunchies
Gentle-to-medium pressure kneading motions that you administer to someone's shoulders, either to relieve aches/tension and generally soothe his overall physical/emotional status, or to simply savor his/her sinewy/pliable muscle-tissue (this is especially pleasurable if the person is not wearing any covering on his/her shoulders, since it permits you direct flesh-to-flesh contact with your hands for maximum sensory pleasure, and it also lets him/her feel the caring warmth/softness of your hands). These simple massages can be administered to your friend from either the front or the rear, although it is usually safer and more comfy for the person if you do it from the front, since this ensures that your fingertips will not accidentally dig into the tender joint-grooves just below his shoulders.
I love giving shoulder-scrunchies to cute chicks whom I meet for the first time --- it harmlessly and unobtrusively builds her trust and shows her what pleasant soothing "magic" I can work with my hands, and so she will often permit me to gradually "progress" to other juicy portions of her real estate until I eventually have her completely stark-naked within half an hour.
shoulder-scrunchies by QuacksO February 27, 2017
pillow-talk
Refers to a pleasant conversation that you share with a buxom gal while your face is buried between her ample tits. Extra brownie-points if you remembered to "mow the lawn" right beforehand, so that the chest-sharing chick just feels satiny-smooth jowls in her cleavage rather than sandpapery raspies or prickly/tickly hairs; besides, freshly-shaved cheeks are ultra-sensitive, and so you get a "past heavenly" feeling from softly rubbing your face against a girl's "girls".
Horny dude: I love having pillow-talks with Tiffany; da only prob is that I usually doze off halfway through da conversation because her nice warm "pillows" super-relax me and make me drowsy, and so I end up just laying my head on her chest and falling asleep.
pillow-talk by QuacksO February 26, 2017
Dewey Decibel System
A calibrated scale of sound-pressure-level used to measure the degree of ambient noise inside a library. Named after the infamous Thomas E. Dewey and his thunderously-cacophonous presidential campaign against Harry Truman.
The noise-level that's acceptable for inside a library is no more than 35dB on the Dewey Decibel System .
Dewey Decibel System by QuacksO February 24, 2017
healthy, wealthy, and wise
A highly-desirable status attainable in one of three ways:
(A) Early to bed, early to rise (although tubby prune-faced ol' Benny didn't seem to "benny-fit" noticeably from THAT load-of-crapola wisdom --- just look at him, 'specially in his later years! So "frankliny", l wouldn't exactly count on this practice to produce all that much in the way of satisfactory results)
(B) Three easy steps: (1) Fake a feeling of illness "healthy" when you go to have your regularly-scheduled checkup. (Extra points if you have Obamacare.) (2) Hire a lawyer whose specialty is hospital/physician-related issues, and file a multi-million-dollar malpractice suit against the doctor who prescribed the incorrect/unnecessary medicine/treatment for your supposed malady that you turned out not to have, after all "wealthy". (3) With your ill-gotten windfall, retire to a private island in the Caribbean and spend a majority of your time studying all the great learned-writers' books Wise".
(C) Become a medical-malpractice lawyer YOURSELF! (Note: Extra points if you **don't** have ObamaCare!)
(A) Early to bed, early to rise (although tubby prune-faced ol' Benny didn't seem to "benny-fit" noticeably from THAT load-of-crapola wisdom --- just look at him, 'specially in his later years! So "frankliny", l wouldn't exactly count on this practice to produce all that much in the way of satisfactory results)
(B) Three easy steps: (1) Fake a feeling of illness "healthy" when you go to have your regularly-scheduled checkup. (Extra points if you have Obamacare.) (2) Hire a lawyer whose specialty is hospital/physician-related issues, and file a multi-million-dollar malpractice suit against the doctor who prescribed the incorrect/unnecessary medicine/treatment for your supposed malady that you turned out not to have, after all "wealthy". (3) With your ill-gotten windfall, retire to a private island in the Caribbean and spend a majority of your time studying all the great learned-writers' books Wise".
(C) Become a medical-malpractice lawyer YOURSELF! (Note: Extra points if you **don't** have ObamaCare!)
Pre-med student: I'm not sure I wanna spend my whole life workin' with blood 'n' guts every day.
Medical professor: No worries, Son --- with all of da greedy "healthy, wealthy, and wise" fortune-seekers out there nowadays, you'll likely be spending more time in the COURTroom than the emergency room, and so your daily routine will be far more broken up and less tedious than the doctors of yore hadda endure!
Medical professor: No worries, Son --- with all of da greedy "healthy, wealthy, and wise" fortune-seekers out there nowadays, you'll likely be spending more time in the COURTroom than the emergency room, and so your daily routine will be far more broken up and less tedious than the doctors of yore hadda endure!
healthy, wealthy, and wise by QuacksO February 23, 2017
do-si-doze
Refers to where one or both slow-dance partners nod off and gradually sink to the floor in a drowsy heap, for one of three reasons:
(1) The music is so relaxing that it puts the dancer(s) to sleep
(2) The partner's company/closeness is super-reassuring and satisfying, and so the limp-legged person experiences a similar "contented nap" reaction that he'd get from a slumber hug
(3) One or both partners have had a long/stressful day (which is probably what had originally prompted them to come to the dance-floor to "unwind" in the first place), and so they feel too exhausted to dance --- or maybe even stand up --- anymore.
(1) The music is so relaxing that it puts the dancer(s) to sleep
(2) The partner's company/closeness is super-reassuring and satisfying, and so the limp-legged person experiences a similar "contented nap" reaction that he'd get from a slumber hug
(3) One or both partners have had a long/stressful day (which is probably what had originally prompted them to come to the dance-floor to "unwind" in the first place), and so they feel too exhausted to dance --- or maybe even stand up --- anymore.
Buxom cutie: I dunno what it is with me --- every mushy-hearted guy I dance with goes into a total do-si-doze whenever he rests his head on my ample chest... I guess I should be flattered that I'm so soothingly pleasing to the guys, but it just feels kinda weird to have my dance-partner fall asleep halfway though every pairing.
do-si-doze by QuacksO February 18, 2017