Definitions by QuacksO
abuse tax
I can at least partially understand levying an abuse tax on truly "optional" abuse-items like tobacco or alcohol, but why charge it on gasoline? That's a necessary commodity to merely get around, and besides, it's not as if we aren't TRYING to use other fuels and/or forms of motive-power --- many people are trying to promote "green" forms of transportation like bicycles, electric vehicles, ethanol, etc., but the powers-that-be are actively squelching the development of such technology. Why, even GM itself crushed its own EV1 electric cars that people ALREADY WERE USING AND LOVED... what kinda convoluted nonsense does THAT make??!?!
soh-shuh-buhl
A warmly-humorous "phonetic" way of spelling/saying the word "sociable"; it denotes a slightly bluff/cajoling "buddy-cuddly" way of "yankin' down da social barriers" and making someone feel immediately loved and welcome... "come along an' join da fun --- we're all one big happy family!"
City-raised teenager whose family has recently moved to a semi-rural area: I felt a bit awkward and outta place having my jovial new neighborhood-pal trot me around wif him during an entire "typical teenager's weekend-activities" day and welcomingly include me in all of his assorted ventures 'n' escapades --- visiting his friends and shooting a few hoops with them, popping in on neighbors' boisterous backyard-barbecues, looking up a few things at the library, joking around with the staff at the hardware store, hugging/high-fiving/wrist-wrestling the cute freckle-faced chicks whom we met around town, and so on... he kept his arm firmly hooked through mine wherever we went and always included me in any group-hugs/sandwich-snuggles that he engaged in wif others, and so again I felt kinda bowled over with everything at first. But I soon realized that my new friend was merely being totally soh-shuh-buhl and making absolutely sure that I never felt "left out", and so eventually I got used to it and actually rather enjoyed it... not exactly how we do stuff in da big city, but heck --- what do I know??
soh-shuh-buhl by QuacksO July 24, 2018
Sam's Club chiseler
A paid-up member of a “big box” warehouse who solicits his bargain-shopping privileges to other folks who have less-affluent lifestyles, and who therefore would wish to also purchase ordinary grocery/household items at bulk-package prices, but who either cannot comfortably afford the outrageously-steep membership-fees that the bulk-package warehouses charge, or who do not buy enough yearly volume to justify paying the fees. The problem, of course, is that the opportunistic member engages in "chiseling": he does not merely ask to be reimbursed just for his actual expenses in procuring the items for these lower-income folks --- i.e., the total amount of the purchased items plus the cost of any additional gas that he’d consume in the course of obtaining/delivering the purchases --- but also charges a hefty “shopper’s fee” for his “services”… yes, it would be an amount that’s still somewhat less than the total savings compared to what the items would have cost in a “regular” store, but still considerably more than the frugal-by-necessity folks for whom he’s shopping would have wanted to spend to obtain their items in the first place.
Members-only warehouses should quit charging such exorbitant fees to their paying customers --- it creates a fertile breeding-ground for Sam's Club chiselers.
Sam's Club chiseler by QuacksO July 24, 2018
community bulletin-board etiquette
A few simple "no brainer" rules that, if we'd all follow them, would make posting/reading paper ads/notices a much more pleasant and peaceable experience for everyone involved.
The "perfect five" rules of community bulletin-board etiquette:
(1) Each poster should be limited to one message per board, unless he is posting two or more "unrelated" ads/notices.
(2) Notices should be a maximum size of an 8-1/2X11 sheet of paper --- don't selfishly hog a whole gigantic portion of board-space with those 0%!$&@# huge-a** blaze-orange/fuchsia/chartreuse banner-sheets from da Dollar Tree's art-paper bin!
(3) Only attach notices to a blank portion of the board --- don't imperiously plaster your poster over everyone else's, regardless of whether you think your message is so much more all-fired important! If there’s insufficient room, make at least a half-a** effort to solve the problem rationally/fairly --- shift other people's sheets around on the board to form a "tighter" grouping, seek out and remove any "obsolete" (event-dates that have already passed) messages, etc.
(4) Don’t use the last “empty” thumbtack/pushpin on the board, or snitch one from someone else’s page! If the supply of available fasteners is running low, add a few tacks/pins of your own! Plus if you see someone else’s poster dangling/flapping by just one corner, pin it back up again.
(5) Choose a spot on the board that’s appropriate to your ad’s subject/urgency. If it’s about a lost/found valuable, super-important event, or desperately-needed item, place the ad near the center of the board. But if it’s merely a “for sale” ad or general notice, place it near the board's top/bottom/sides.
(1) Each poster should be limited to one message per board, unless he is posting two or more "unrelated" ads/notices.
(2) Notices should be a maximum size of an 8-1/2X11 sheet of paper --- don't selfishly hog a whole gigantic portion of board-space with those 0%!$&@# huge-a** blaze-orange/fuchsia/chartreuse banner-sheets from da Dollar Tree's art-paper bin!
(3) Only attach notices to a blank portion of the board --- don't imperiously plaster your poster over everyone else's, regardless of whether you think your message is so much more all-fired important! If there’s insufficient room, make at least a half-a** effort to solve the problem rationally/fairly --- shift other people's sheets around on the board to form a "tighter" grouping, seek out and remove any "obsolete" (event-dates that have already passed) messages, etc.
(4) Don’t use the last “empty” thumbtack/pushpin on the board, or snitch one from someone else’s page! If the supply of available fasteners is running low, add a few tacks/pins of your own! Plus if you see someone else’s poster dangling/flapping by just one corner, pin it back up again.
(5) Choose a spot on the board that’s appropriate to your ad’s subject/urgency. If it’s about a lost/found valuable, super-important event, or desperately-needed item, place the ad near the center of the board. But if it’s merely a “for sale” ad or general notice, place it near the board's top/bottom/sides.
community bulletin-board etiquette by QuacksO July 24, 2018
Colonel Boogie March
Jazz-band leader, addressing the saloon patrons over the PA system: "Okay, now we're gonna play the Colonel Boogie March; feel free to sing --- er, I mean **whistle** --- along. Okay, fellas --- an' a-one, an' a-two, an' a-three, an' a-four..."
Audience: "Wheestle --- whuh-whoo-whoo-WHEE-WHEE-whoooo... wheestle --- whuh-whee-whuh-whoo-whoo-whaahh... wheestle... whuh-whee-whuh-WHEE-whoh.... whuh-whee-whuh-whee-whuh, whuh-whee-whuh, whee-whoooooo...."
Audience: "Wheestle --- whuh-whoo-whoo-WHEE-WHEE-whoooo... wheestle --- whuh-whee-whuh-whoo-whoo-whaahh... wheestle... whuh-whee-whuh-WHEE-whoh.... whuh-whee-whuh-whee-whuh, whuh-whee-whuh, whee-whoooooo...."
Colonel Boogie March by QuacksO July 24, 2018
gas station etiquette
Rules Of Gas Station Etiquette:
(1) If you have just your car, pull forward to da last unoccupied pump (even if you have to slither around others) so dat those behind you can reach da pumps more easily.
(2) If you have a long trailer, use da first pump in line to leave da others clear, unless this would block access to da station. If so, park over in da side-lot and use gas-cans to fill up.
(3) If you need to also shop in da station's store, get da gas **first** and then move your 0%!$@# vehicle outta da pump-island so dat others can fill up in da meantime… don't just leave your rig parked in da island while you leisurely diddle around in da candy-bars aisle!
(4) If you'll need extra time at da pump (like if you hafta tediously "coax in" da last few gallons, or you have gas-cans to also fill) either wait till a "slower" time of day, or else park off to da side and use your gas-cans to finish up.
(5) If you have a check to cash, bagged/rolled coins to spend/exchange, or other "lengthier" business, wait till da other customers are done. Also, walk around da store to ensure you have all your needed items, so dat you don't hafta dash back to da far-corner cooler to grab a second gallon of milk (and thus oblige everyone else behind you to grumblingly wait) and then run all da way back to da counter again! And have your payment-method (cash, debit/Food-Stamps cards, check, etc.) all ready once ya get to da counter, rather than having to frantically fumble for it.
(1) If you have just your car, pull forward to da last unoccupied pump (even if you have to slither around others) so dat those behind you can reach da pumps more easily.
(2) If you have a long trailer, use da first pump in line to leave da others clear, unless this would block access to da station. If so, park over in da side-lot and use gas-cans to fill up.
(3) If you need to also shop in da station's store, get da gas **first** and then move your 0%!$@# vehicle outta da pump-island so dat others can fill up in da meantime… don't just leave your rig parked in da island while you leisurely diddle around in da candy-bars aisle!
(4) If you'll need extra time at da pump (like if you hafta tediously "coax in" da last few gallons, or you have gas-cans to also fill) either wait till a "slower" time of day, or else park off to da side and use your gas-cans to finish up.
(5) If you have a check to cash, bagged/rolled coins to spend/exchange, or other "lengthier" business, wait till da other customers are done. Also, walk around da store to ensure you have all your needed items, so dat you don't hafta dash back to da far-corner cooler to grab a second gallon of milk (and thus oblige everyone else behind you to grumblingly wait) and then run all da way back to da counter again! And have your payment-method (cash, debit/Food-Stamps cards, check, etc.) all ready once ya get to da counter, rather than having to frantically fumble for it.
gas station etiquette by QuacksO July 24, 2018
Jimmy Swaggert
The infamous philandering televangelist who loves to bombastically brag (i.e., "swagger") about how great he is and how much money/luxury (l.e., "swag") he possesses.
Between Jimmy Swaggert and Oral "Blowjob" Robberts, it's little wonder than Christianity as a whole is seen as just a money-making mega-conglomerated conspiracy.
Jimmy Swaggert by QuacksO July 23, 2018