QuacksO's definitions

fartionate

Describes the beneficial status of someone's passing gas, such as the timing, quantity/odoriferousness, decibel-volume, etc. of said whizzpopper, which gave you an unexpected break; perhaps it allowed you a "second chance", covered some other embarrassing/revealing noise, changed the subject, relieved an awkward silence, etc.

Unexpected anal-eruptions can also be decidedly "UNfartionate", as well, such as when you're in the middle of "delicately" undressing a hot chick in preparation for sex, giving someone a massage or soothing/comforting embrace, etc.

by QuacksO May 30, 2019

missiletoe

Refers to either of two incendiary-rocket-related definitions:

(1) The characteristic bruising/blistering suffered by careless/clumsy armory-workers who repeatedly drop said ordnance while wearing inadequate shoe-protection.
(2) A spherical-shaped cluster of explosives which is hung from the ceiling at a terrorists' end-of-year party; it's the only way to get these hatred-steeped warmongers to display any degree of affection.

Contrary to what he told Jeff Dunham, Achmed came to look as he is today by trying to kiss one of his 46 wives underneath the missiletoe --- he'd unknowingly set the timer wrong on one of them, and the whole 0%!$@# cluster went up due to "premature detonation".

by QuacksO August 4, 2018

anisethetic

A pain-killer dat utilizes da Pimpinell spice for overall calming and health-boosting effects.

I don't trust conventional-medicine doctors, so I would wanna use an anisethetic instead of an artificial treatment if I needed to have painful surgery.

by QuacksO March 14, 2021

wreckreation

1. Demolition derbies, monster truck rallies, dynamiting of large buildings or rock-faces, and any other events that involve massive/noisy destruction.
2. Entertainment that includes drinking, gambling, drug use, etc, and/or which involves the unwise/excessively-wearing operations of vehicles or other equipment, causing the participants’ lives to be partially/totally ruined by debt, destroyed/damaged property, jail time, lost employment, interpersonal conflict, etc.

Juiced-up dude, eagerly admiring another young man’s shiny “jacked up” 4X4 pickup truck: “Cooool… nice set o’ WHEELS, Man… hey, wanna join me in the big mud-running contest this Saturday?”
Truck’s owner: “No thanks, Pal --- no insult whatever to you or your buddies, but I wanna keep this truck in mint condition for as long as possible, so I’m just using it for regular off-roading only… this baby ain’t goin’ for no wreckreation while I’m at th’ wheel!”

by QuacksO September 8, 2013

stumble-splutter

Where you make a loud burbling sound with your lips as you trip and go sprawling; this can help you to better focus your mind to hopefully not get hurt or damage anything in your fall, plus it will not overly alarm others in your general vicinity.

Petite slight-figured cutie: I totally love my new heart-throb like you wouldn't imagine; I just get concerned whenever we try to go for walks together across uneven ground like a lumpy grass-field, since he is not very sure-footed or steady-balanced in these terrains, plus he's much taller and bulkier than I am, and so I cannot safely/effectively try to catch him if he starts to topple over. He's usually able to land without injury if he has plenty of space to flail his arms and break his fall on the way down, though; I have therefore learned to just jump back out of the way whenever he makes a stumble-splutter, and so usually he merely thuds heavily without incident, and then simply clambers back up and takes my hand again to stroll on as if nothing happened.

by QuacksO August 17, 2018

"Newhart" genitals-introduction

Da way a dude humorously familiarizes you wif da three different "members" of his guy-junk --- "This is Larry; this is his brother Darryl, and this is his OTHER brother Darryl."

Ladies say dat they want a man who is "kind, caring, intelligent, and funny". Well, if your new guy-friend performs a "Newhart" genitals-introduction prior to first having sex wif you, it may not say much about his kindness or caring, but it sure-as-shootin' shows dat he has da intelligence and sense-of-humor portions of his personality down pat!.

by QuacksO June 22, 2020

hexcise tax

Da tariff dat you hadda pay da town government of colonial Salem, Massachusetts to keep dem from having da local witches put a curse on you.

Perhaps if they had simply abolished da hexcise tax in Salem, Massachusetts, the witch-trials would never have happened.

by QuacksO October 4, 2019