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Definitions by QuacksO

Hulk Hoagien 

A towering behemoth of a dude who became that way from eating too many foot-longs.
If you enjoy frequently chowing down on massive sub-sandwiches, you should always get plenty of exercise to avoid turning into Hulk Hoagien.
Hulk Hoagien by QuacksO April 17, 2021

scowlawag 

Someone who frowns deeply while being a pain-in-da-you-know-what.
Hamlet was famous for being a royal scowlawag during his famous pretending-to-be-plumb-loco shenanigans.
scowlawag by QuacksO April 16, 2021
Someone who keeps an eye on sizeable rounded protrusions, camels, or copulation activities.
Da word "humpire" could also refer to a whole town or city where many of da residents are "doing it" at will; Warren Jeffs' congregation comes to mind.
humpire by QuacksO April 15, 2021

alphabetical umpire 

bumpire: Someone who monitors da activities of moochers and vagrants, uneven surfaces, or people's posteriors
cumpire: Someone who monitors a virile stud's sperm-production
dumpire: Someone who monitors da bulk-offloading of material
dumbpire: Someone who monitors stupid people and/or actions
fumpire: Someone who monitors what da castle-atop-da-beanstalk-dwelling giant said regarding British hemoglobin

gumpire: Someone who monitors Violet Beauregarde's favorite dental-exercising substance
humpire: Someone who monitors others' tune-carrying abilities, or da droning din of power-transformers and/or minuscule rapidly-flapping birds
jumpire: Someone who monitors others' pogo-stick-type leg-actions
lumpire: Someone who monitors Abner Peabody's best buddy, or abnormal bulges
mumpire: Someone who monitors child-bearing females, others' abilities to invoke da Fifth Amendment, or painful jaw-swelling
Other examples of alphabetical umpires include:
numbpire: Someone who monitors da effectiveness of an anesthetic
pumpire: Someone who monitors fluid-locomotion devices
rumpire: Someone who monitors strong drink or da jiggling of other people's behinds
sumpire: Someone who monitors addition-example solutions or overflow-containment devices
tumpire: Someone who monitors da health of others' stomachs
alphabetical umpire by QuacksO April 15, 2021

candied camera 

A "subjects photographed without their knowledge" show where you're given sweets to recompense you for having your picture taken.
Many children hate da whole "watch the birdie" ordeal, so using da "candied camera" method can help said ordeal feel less stressful.
candied camera by QuacksO April 15, 2021

farternal 

Referring to "brotherly minded" dudes who love PASSING the time by PASSING gas.
A neighbor gave me a whole case of canned beans, so I think I'll host an impromptu farternal backyard barbecue for all my buddies.
farternal by QuacksO April 15, 2021
An adult who's raising one or more of his children just on his own, while also trying to assume both a motherly and fatherly role to give said offspring a more "balanced" upbringing.
Reading child-rearing advice-books aimed at both male and female audiences can help you become a better pairent.
pairent by QuacksO April 14, 2021