1. (noun) A girl who has sex so often, whether with the same partner (nympho), or many different ones(slut), that her back seems to be constantly on a mattress.
2. a condition derived by a girl who engages in said activities.
2. a condition derived by a girl who engages in said activities.
1. "That girl is a mattress back if I ever saw one."
2. "You're gonna get mattress back if you keep sleeping around like that."
2. "You're gonna get mattress back if you keep sleeping around like that."
by Pleasure Boy 1, erotic fiction author December 11, 2004
Get the mattress back mug.verb: to reduce someone to the status of a bitch, a weak and obedient underling that does your will out of sheer intimidation. Similar to embarassed, except with more direct connotations to one's bitchhood. Usually being embitched is a bad thing, but not always.
Maxine: Get the fuckin' yard cleaned up, Daryl you useless shit!
Mike: Dude! Don't let her embitch you like that. If you let it go now, it'll be like that you're entire relationship. Be a man!
Daryl: Sorry, bro. I was embitched long ago.
Jack: Woman, you better be naked when I get home, holding an ice-cold beer and a bottle of lube!
Dana: -sigh- I've been embitched.
Mike: Dude! Don't let her embitch you like that. If you let it go now, it'll be like that you're entire relationship. Be a man!
Daryl: Sorry, bro. I was embitched long ago.
Jack: Woman, you better be naked when I get home, holding an ice-cold beer and a bottle of lube!
Dana: -sigh- I've been embitched.
by Pleasure Boy 1, erotic fiction author May 09, 2007
Get the embitch mug.Similar to Bed Count. One's Head count is the number of times you've gone down on someone, performed oral sex. Many people believe that oral sex doesn't count as a full notch on your belt, so Head Count is adjusted as Fractional Sex.
Kim: "Well, add one to my head count. I just went down on David in the back seat of his car. I guess I'm up to 15 now."
Krista: "Well, that's fractional sex, so it only counts as 10, especially if you didn't swallow."
Kim: "I swallow every time."
Krista: "Okay, 12.5 then."
Krista: "Well, that's fractional sex, so it only counts as 10, especially if you didn't swallow."
Kim: "I swallow every time."
Krista: "Okay, 12.5 then."
by Pleasure Boy 1, erotic fiction author February 19, 2007
Get the Head Count mug.noun: (rhymes with symphony) Sexual noises made by a woman, screaming, moaning, dirty talk, bed shaking, etc. purely for theatrical effect rather than actual sexual response. A woman puts on a nymphony when she wants to draw attention to the fact that she's a super hot fuck, a nympho, or generally has something else to prove.
Deb: "Ron's coming over tonight. We'll probably end up doing it. Should I throw down a nymphony on him or play it cool?"
Beth: "That's a tough one. You don't want him to think you're some kind of whore or something. I say, start off all sweet and innocent, and they break out the nymphony, like he's just so goddamn good you can't help it. That'll drive him wild."
Andrea: "Oh God, slam me harder, you sexy fuck! I wanna feel it for a fucking week! AH YEAH! FUCK ME!"
Paul: "Dammit! Tone down the nymphony, girl. Your mother's right downstairs!"
Andrea: "My mother did the exact same thing to me last night with her new BF. I'm just getting her back."
Jack: "My roommate had that hot slut of girlfriend over again last night. They were at it until 4 a.m., just slamming the bed against the bedroom wall and she was screaming like a porn star."
Ben: "I still say it's just a nymphony. That chick has the hots for you big time. She's just letting you know what she has to offer."
Beth: "That's a tough one. You don't want him to think you're some kind of whore or something. I say, start off all sweet and innocent, and they break out the nymphony, like he's just so goddamn good you can't help it. That'll drive him wild."
Andrea: "Oh God, slam me harder, you sexy fuck! I wanna feel it for a fucking week! AH YEAH! FUCK ME!"
Paul: "Dammit! Tone down the nymphony, girl. Your mother's right downstairs!"
Andrea: "My mother did the exact same thing to me last night with her new BF. I'm just getting her back."
Jack: "My roommate had that hot slut of girlfriend over again last night. They were at it until 4 a.m., just slamming the bed against the bedroom wall and she was screaming like a porn star."
Ben: "I still say it's just a nymphony. That chick has the hots for you big time. She's just letting you know what she has to offer."
by Pleasure Boy 1, erotic fiction author July 15, 2007
Get the nymphony mug.adverb: a feeling of overwhelming sexual arousal that comes over you when you've got no other sexual outlet than masturbation (wanking off, having a wank, etc.). Like horny except that horniness may include the arousal that comes when you actually have a partner to relieve the sexual tension with, or can get one.
Carrie: "God, I watched Troy again and I've been feeling wanky over Brad Pitt all day."
Janet: "Why do you do this to yourself? Just call up Greg and get him down there for a booty call!"
Carrie: "I can't. He'll think I still have feelings for him. I'm just gonna get in a hot bath and wank it out of my system."
Janet: "Why do you do this to yourself? Just call up Greg and get him down there for a booty call!"
Carrie: "I can't. He'll think I still have feelings for him. I'm just gonna get in a hot bath and wank it out of my system."
by Pleasure Boy 1, erotic fiction author June 12, 2007
Get the wanky mug.1. (noun) Sex with someone so easy (or ugly) that they don't even count as a full notch on your belt. Similar to Fictional Sex, sex that's either made up to boost one's numbers, or falsely denied to reduce the bed count.
2. Sex that's so lousy, it doesn't even count as a full fuck.
3. Sex that's so amazing, or so difficult to score, it counts as several notches on your belt.
2. Sex that's so lousy, it doesn't even count as a full fuck.
3. Sex that's so amazing, or so difficult to score, it counts as several notches on your belt.
1. Bob: "Man, I fucked 1/3 of a girl last night."
Dan: "What do you mean? Where was the rest of her?"
Bob: "It was fractional sex, this chick named Amy. All I had to do was buy her one drink and she was back at my place. She was so easy, it doesn't even count as a full lay."
2. Krista: "How many guys have you been with, Amy?"
Amy: "Two and a quarter?"
Krista: "Two and a quarter? How do you fuck 25% of a guy?"
Amy: "It was this guy name Dan. He was so shitty in bed, it don't even count as a full lay. He had a little dick and he only lasted two minutes."
Krista: "Ah, fractional sex. I've had a few of those. I'm up to 3.4 I think."
Amy: "3.4, huh? Sounds like fictional sex to me. You're forgetting about those two guys you did on Spring Break, and that Jerry guy, and that professor you went down on, and-"
Krista: "Shut up! You made your point."
3. Will: "Well, it took me seven months, $500 in dating expenses, and four bullshit love poems, but I finally got Destiny in bed last night. And man, it was so worth it! She blew my fucking mind! I swear that counts as ten notches on my belt right there."
Steve: "Ah yeah, fractional action, huh? Nice."
Dan: "What do you mean? Where was the rest of her?"
Bob: "It was fractional sex, this chick named Amy. All I had to do was buy her one drink and she was back at my place. She was so easy, it doesn't even count as a full lay."
2. Krista: "How many guys have you been with, Amy?"
Amy: "Two and a quarter?"
Krista: "Two and a quarter? How do you fuck 25% of a guy?"
Amy: "It was this guy name Dan. He was so shitty in bed, it don't even count as a full lay. He had a little dick and he only lasted two minutes."
Krista: "Ah, fractional sex. I've had a few of those. I'm up to 3.4 I think."
Amy: "3.4, huh? Sounds like fictional sex to me. You're forgetting about those two guys you did on Spring Break, and that Jerry guy, and that professor you went down on, and-"
Krista: "Shut up! You made your point."
3. Will: "Well, it took me seven months, $500 in dating expenses, and four bullshit love poems, but I finally got Destiny in bed last night. And man, it was so worth it! She blew my fucking mind! I swear that counts as ten notches on my belt right there."
Steve: "Ah yeah, fractional action, huh? Nice."
by Pleasure Boy 1, erotic fiction author February 20, 2007
Get the fractional sex mug.From Mitch Hedberg's comedy bit about the vending machine with an HH button. He presses H twice instead of the HH button and gets the wrong snack.
Generally, an exclamation of extreme frustration.
Specifically, an exclamation of extreme frustration when you made the wrong choice based on insufficient or faulty information, usually said of something trivial like getting the wrong snack out of a vending machine.
Generally, an exclamation of extreme frustration.
Specifically, an exclamation of extreme frustration when you made the wrong choice based on insufficient or faulty information, usually said of something trivial like getting the wrong snack out of a vending machine.
"I was gonna get a candy bar; the button I was supposed to push was HH, so I went to the side, I found the H button, I pushed it twice. Fuckin'...potato chips came out man, 'cause they had a HH button, for Christ's sakes! You need to let me know. I'm not familiar with the concept of HH. I did not learn my AA-BB-CC's. God god dammit dammit." - Mitch Hedberg
Ah, man! I ordered the deluxe platter and it turns out it's a fuckin' veggie burger and a soy-based milkshake. God God Dammit Dammit!
She told me over the internet that she was a virgin, and I was all excited, but it turns out she's also really ugly. God God Dammit Dammit!
Ah, man! I ordered the deluxe platter and it turns out it's a fuckin' veggie burger and a soy-based milkshake. God God Dammit Dammit!
She told me over the internet that she was a virgin, and I was all excited, but it turns out she's also really ugly. God God Dammit Dammit!
by Pleasure Boy 1, erotic fiction author July 07, 2008
Get the God God Dammit Dammit mug.