Pleasure Boy 1, erotic fiction author's definitions
The number of people you've had sex with. It doesn't necessarily have to be in a bed. One's bed count can be reduced by adjusting for Fractional Sex experiences. Bed count is similar to Head Count, the number of times you've performed oral sex.
Claire: "I so wanna fuck that Kyle guy, but I'm already up to four guys. Five's too high for a bed count."
Janine: "Yeah, but if you only count the ones who really mattered, I'm sure you'd be down around 2 or 3, you know, fractional sex. You've had some shitty luck with the guys you've done."
Clarie: "You're right. I'm gonna go for it!"
Janine: "Yeah, but if you only count the ones who really mattered, I'm sure you'd be down around 2 or 3, you know, fractional sex. You've had some shitty luck with the guys you've done."
Clarie: "You're right. I'm gonna go for it!"
by Pleasure Boy 1, erotic fiction author February 19, 2007
Get the Bed Count mug.1. (n) A hole that you plug something in to, like a lightbulb.
2a. (n) A derogatory term for a woman or girl whose only purpose in life is as a receptical for penile penetration.
2b. (n) An affectionate term for a sex partner who is about to become a receptical for penile penetration.
3. (n) The vagina, anus, or mouth of said woman or girl.
See also Cock-socket.
2a. (n) A derogatory term for a woman or girl whose only purpose in life is as a receptical for penile penetration.
2b. (n) An affectionate term for a sex partner who is about to become a receptical for penile penetration.
3. (n) The vagina, anus, or mouth of said woman or girl.
See also Cock-socket.
1. "I can't get this lightbulb in the socket!"
2a. "That chick's a socket if I ever saw one. She's had more dick in her than Mrs. Nixon."
2b. "Come here, my little socket. I've got something for you."
3. "Shut your socket, bitch, before I plug it with my dick."
2a. "That chick's a socket if I ever saw one. She's had more dick in her than Mrs. Nixon."
2b. "Come here, my little socket. I've got something for you."
3. "Shut your socket, bitch, before I plug it with my dick."
by Pleasure Boy 1, Erotic fiction author March 7, 2007
Get the Socket mug.adverb: a feeling of overwhelming sexual arousal that comes over you when you've got no other sexual outlet than masturbation (wanking off, having a wank, etc.). Like horny except that horniness may include the arousal that comes when you actually have a partner to relieve the sexual tension with, or can get one.
Carrie: "God, I watched Troy again and I've been feeling wanky over Brad Pitt all day."
Janet: "Why do you do this to yourself? Just call up Greg and get him down there for a booty call!"
Carrie: "I can't. He'll think I still have feelings for him. I'm just gonna get in a hot bath and wank it out of my system."
Janet: "Why do you do this to yourself? Just call up Greg and get him down there for a booty call!"
Carrie: "I can't. He'll think I still have feelings for him. I'm just gonna get in a hot bath and wank it out of my system."
by Pleasure Boy 1, erotic fiction author June 12, 2007
Get the wanky mug.verb: to reduce someone to the status of a bitch, a weak and obedient underling that does your will out of sheer intimidation. Similar to embarassed, except with more direct connotations to one's bitchhood. Usually being embitched is a bad thing, but not always.
Maxine: Get the fuckin' yard cleaned up, Daryl you useless shit!
Mike: Dude! Don't let her embitch you like that. If you let it go now, it'll be like that you're entire relationship. Be a man!
Daryl: Sorry, bro. I was embitched long ago.
Jack: Woman, you better be naked when I get home, holding an ice-cold beer and a bottle of lube!
Dana: -sigh- I've been embitched.
Mike: Dude! Don't let her embitch you like that. If you let it go now, it'll be like that you're entire relationship. Be a man!
Daryl: Sorry, bro. I was embitched long ago.
Jack: Woman, you better be naked when I get home, holding an ice-cold beer and a bottle of lube!
Dana: -sigh- I've been embitched.
by Pleasure Boy 1, erotic fiction author May 9, 2007
Get the embitch mug.1. (noun) A girl who has sex so often, whether with the same partner (nympho), or many different ones(slut), that her back seems to be constantly on a mattress.
2. a condition derived by a girl who engages in said activities.
2. a condition derived by a girl who engages in said activities.
1. "That girl is a mattress back if I ever saw one."
2. "You're gonna get mattress back if you keep sleeping around like that."
2. "You're gonna get mattress back if you keep sleeping around like that."
by Pleasure Boy 1, erotic fiction author December 11, 2004
Get the mattress back mug.Ejaculation for the sake of visual appeal, rather than physical appeal, usually onto one's sexual partner, and especially as part of videotaped sex. The implication is that such a visually appealing shot will generate monetary profit for the video in question that it wouldn't have otherwise had without it.
by Pleasure Boy 1, erotic fiction author December 11, 2004
Get the money shot mug.From Mitch Hedberg's comedy bit about the vending machine with an HH button. He presses H twice instead of the HH button and gets the wrong snack.
Generally, an exclamation of extreme frustration.
Specifically, an exclamation of extreme frustration when you made the wrong choice based on insufficient or faulty information, usually said of something trivial like getting the wrong snack out of a vending machine.
Generally, an exclamation of extreme frustration.
Specifically, an exclamation of extreme frustration when you made the wrong choice based on insufficient or faulty information, usually said of something trivial like getting the wrong snack out of a vending machine.
"I was gonna get a candy bar; the button I was supposed to push was HH, so I went to the side, I found the H button, I pushed it twice. Fuckin'...potato chips came out man, 'cause they had a HH button, for Christ's sakes! You need to let me know. I'm not familiar with the concept of HH. I did not learn my AA-BB-CC's. God god dammit dammit." - Mitch Hedberg
Ah, man! I ordered the deluxe platter and it turns out it's a fuckin' veggie burger and a soy-based milkshake. God God Dammit Dammit!
She told me over the internet that she was a virgin, and I was all excited, but it turns out she's also really ugly. God God Dammit Dammit!
Ah, man! I ordered the deluxe platter and it turns out it's a fuckin' veggie burger and a soy-based milkshake. God God Dammit Dammit!
She told me over the internet that she was a virgin, and I was all excited, but it turns out she's also really ugly. God God Dammit Dammit!
by Pleasure Boy 1, erotic fiction author July 7, 2008
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