Pleasure Boy 1, erotic fiction author's definitions
1. (noun) A girl who has sex so often, whether with the same partner (nympho), or many different ones(slut), that her back seems to be constantly on a mattress.
2. a condition derived by a girl who engages in said activities.
2. a condition derived by a girl who engages in said activities.
1. "That girl is a mattress back if I ever saw one."
2. "You're gonna get mattress back if you keep sleeping around like that."
2. "You're gonna get mattress back if you keep sleeping around like that."
by Pleasure Boy 1, erotic fiction author December 11, 2004
Get the mattress back mug.verb: to reduce someone to the status of a bitch, a weak and obedient underling that does your will out of sheer intimidation. Similar to embarassed, except with more direct connotations to one's bitchhood. Usually being embitched is a bad thing, but not always.
Maxine: Get the fuckin' yard cleaned up, Daryl you useless shit!
Mike: Dude! Don't let her embitch you like that. If you let it go now, it'll be like that you're entire relationship. Be a man!
Daryl: Sorry, bro. I was embitched long ago.
Jack: Woman, you better be naked when I get home, holding an ice-cold beer and a bottle of lube!
Dana: -sigh- I've been embitched.
Mike: Dude! Don't let her embitch you like that. If you let it go now, it'll be like that you're entire relationship. Be a man!
Daryl: Sorry, bro. I was embitched long ago.
Jack: Woman, you better be naked when I get home, holding an ice-cold beer and a bottle of lube!
Dana: -sigh- I've been embitched.
by Pleasure Boy 1, erotic fiction author May 9, 2007
Get the embitch mug.From Mitch Hedberg's comedy bit about the vending machine with an HH button. He presses H twice instead of the HH button and gets the wrong snack.
Generally, an exclamation of extreme frustration.
Specifically, an exclamation of extreme frustration when you made the wrong choice based on insufficient or faulty information, usually said of something trivial like getting the wrong snack out of a vending machine.
Generally, an exclamation of extreme frustration.
Specifically, an exclamation of extreme frustration when you made the wrong choice based on insufficient or faulty information, usually said of something trivial like getting the wrong snack out of a vending machine.
"I was gonna get a candy bar; the button I was supposed to push was HH, so I went to the side, I found the H button, I pushed it twice. Fuckin'...potato chips came out man, 'cause they had a HH button, for Christ's sakes! You need to let me know. I'm not familiar with the concept of HH. I did not learn my AA-BB-CC's. God god dammit dammit." - Mitch Hedberg
Ah, man! I ordered the deluxe platter and it turns out it's a fuckin' veggie burger and a soy-based milkshake. God God Dammit Dammit!
She told me over the internet that she was a virgin, and I was all excited, but it turns out she's also really ugly. God God Dammit Dammit!
Ah, man! I ordered the deluxe platter and it turns out it's a fuckin' veggie burger and a soy-based milkshake. God God Dammit Dammit!
She told me over the internet that she was a virgin, and I was all excited, but it turns out she's also really ugly. God God Dammit Dammit!
by Pleasure Boy 1, erotic fiction author July 7, 2008
Get the God God Dammit Dammit mug.noun: (rhymes with symphony) Sexual noises made by a woman, screaming, moaning, dirty talk, bed shaking, etc. purely for theatrical effect rather than actual sexual response. A woman puts on a nymphony when she wants to draw attention to the fact that she's a super hot fuck, a nympho, or generally has something else to prove.
Deb: "Ron's coming over tonight. We'll probably end up doing it. Should I throw down a nymphony on him or play it cool?"
Beth: "That's a tough one. You don't want him to think you're some kind of whore or something. I say, start off all sweet and innocent, and they break out the nymphony, like he's just so goddamn good you can't help it. That'll drive him wild."
Andrea: "Oh God, slam me harder, you sexy fuck! I wanna feel it for a fucking week! AH YEAH! FUCK ME!"
Paul: "Dammit! Tone down the nymphony, girl. Your mother's right downstairs!"
Andrea: "My mother did the exact same thing to me last night with her new BF. I'm just getting her back."
Jack: "My roommate had that hot slut of girlfriend over again last night. They were at it until 4 a.m., just slamming the bed against the bedroom wall and she was screaming like a porn star."
Ben: "I still say it's just a nymphony. That chick has the hots for you big time. She's just letting you know what she has to offer."
Beth: "That's a tough one. You don't want him to think you're some kind of whore or something. I say, start off all sweet and innocent, and they break out the nymphony, like he's just so goddamn good you can't help it. That'll drive him wild."
Andrea: "Oh God, slam me harder, you sexy fuck! I wanna feel it for a fucking week! AH YEAH! FUCK ME!"
Paul: "Dammit! Tone down the nymphony, girl. Your mother's right downstairs!"
Andrea: "My mother did the exact same thing to me last night with her new BF. I'm just getting her back."
Jack: "My roommate had that hot slut of girlfriend over again last night. They were at it until 4 a.m., just slamming the bed against the bedroom wall and she was screaming like a porn star."
Ben: "I still say it's just a nymphony. That chick has the hots for you big time. She's just letting you know what she has to offer."
by Pleasure Boy 1, erotic fiction author July 15, 2007
Get the nymphony mug.The number of people you've had sex with. It doesn't necessarily have to be in a bed. One's bed count can be reduced by adjusting for Fractional Sex experiences. Bed count is similar to Head Count, the number of times you've performed oral sex.
Claire: "I so wanna fuck that Kyle guy, but I'm already up to four guys. Five's too high for a bed count."
Janine: "Yeah, but if you only count the ones who really mattered, I'm sure you'd be down around 2 or 3, you know, fractional sex. You've had some shitty luck with the guys you've done."
Clarie: "You're right. I'm gonna go for it!"
Janine: "Yeah, but if you only count the ones who really mattered, I'm sure you'd be down around 2 or 3, you know, fractional sex. You've had some shitty luck with the guys you've done."
Clarie: "You're right. I'm gonna go for it!"
by Pleasure Boy 1, erotic fiction author February 19, 2007
Get the Bed Count mug.1. (n) A hole that you plug something in to, like a lightbulb.
2a. (n) A derogatory term for a woman or girl whose only purpose in life is as a receptical for penile penetration.
2b. (n) An affectionate term for a sex partner who is about to become a receptical for penile penetration.
3. (n) The vagina, anus, or mouth of said woman or girl.
See also Cock-socket.
2a. (n) A derogatory term for a woman or girl whose only purpose in life is as a receptical for penile penetration.
2b. (n) An affectionate term for a sex partner who is about to become a receptical for penile penetration.
3. (n) The vagina, anus, or mouth of said woman or girl.
See also Cock-socket.
1. "I can't get this lightbulb in the socket!"
2a. "That chick's a socket if I ever saw one. She's had more dick in her than Mrs. Nixon."
2b. "Come here, my little socket. I've got something for you."
3. "Shut your socket, bitch, before I plug it with my dick."
2a. "That chick's a socket if I ever saw one. She's had more dick in her than Mrs. Nixon."
2b. "Come here, my little socket. I've got something for you."
3. "Shut your socket, bitch, before I plug it with my dick."
by Pleasure Boy 1, Erotic fiction author March 7, 2007
Get the Socket mug.Like fractional sex, fictional sex is sex you make up to boost your stats (the notches on your belt in other words). Or, it can also be sex you deny ever having, out of fear of having too high of a bed count, or out of embarrassment that the person you had it with was sketchy. Basically, if you lie about whether or not you got laid, it's fictional sex.
Bob: Dude, I nailed Cassandra last night! I'm up to 22 notches on my belt already. How many you got?
Dan: Twenty-two? Yeah right! How many of those 22 are fictional sex? Probably more than half. I'd be surprised if you even nailed ten chicks.
Andrea: I heard you left the party with Bob last night. Does that mean you're up to nine different guys now?
Casandra: Shut up! Nothing happened. We just kissed a bit and I made him take me home. And I'm not up to eight yet either! I've only done like three guys. Honest.
Andrea: Yeah... sure... three guys this month. Sounds like fictional sex to me.
Dan: Twenty-two? Yeah right! How many of those 22 are fictional sex? Probably more than half. I'd be surprised if you even nailed ten chicks.
Andrea: I heard you left the party with Bob last night. Does that mean you're up to nine different guys now?
Casandra: Shut up! Nothing happened. We just kissed a bit and I made him take me home. And I'm not up to eight yet either! I've only done like three guys. Honest.
Andrea: Yeah... sure... three guys this month. Sounds like fictional sex to me.
by Pleasure Boy 1, erotic fiction author April 6, 2008
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