14 definitions by Pleasure Boy 1, erotic fiction author

1. (noun) A girl who has sex so often, whether with the same partner (nympho), or many different ones(slut), that her back seems to be constantly on a mattress.
2. a condition derived by a girl who engages in said activities.
1. "That girl is a mattress back if I ever saw one."
2. "You're gonna get mattress back if you keep sleeping around like that."
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noun: (rhymes with symphony) Sexual noises made by a woman, screaming, moaning, dirty talk, bed shaking, etc. purely for theatrical effect rather than actual sexual response. A woman puts on a nymphony when she wants to draw attention to the fact that she's a super hot fuck, a nympho, or generally has something else to prove.
Deb: "Ron's coming over tonight. We'll probably end up doing it. Should I throw down a nymphony on him or play it cool?"
Beth: "That's a tough one. You don't want him to think you're some kind of whore or something. I say, start off all sweet and innocent, and they break out the nymphony, like he's just so goddamn good you can't help it. That'll drive him wild."

Andrea: "Oh God, slam me harder, you sexy fuck! I wanna feel it for a fucking week! AH YEAH! FUCK ME!"
Paul: "Dammit! Tone down the nymphony, girl. Your mother's right downstairs!"
Andrea: "My mother did the exact same thing to me last night with her new BF. I'm just getting her back."

Jack: "My roommate had that hot slut of girlfriend over again last night. They were at it until 4 a.m., just slamming the bed against the bedroom wall and she was screaming like a porn star."
Ben: "I still say it's just a nymphony. That chick has the hots for you big time. She's just letting you know what she has to offer."
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1. (noun) Similar to a Pocket Slut, a selective slut, acts slutty, sexually uninhibited, and loose, but only to entice the guys she's attracted to. She'll wear tight clothes, talk and act skanky, and dance like a ho, trying to get attention, but gets offended when guys she's not interested in (ugly guys) hit on her as well. A selective slut apparently doesn't understand that her actions effect all guys, not just the ones she's interested in. When a hot guy takes notice of her, he's being "responsive to her sex appeal". When an ugly guy takes notice of her, he's a "leering pervert".

2.(verb) A girl "selective sluts" a man when she acts overtly sexual towards him, but turns off her charms as soon as someone else is watching... usually.
1. Phil: "I tried hitting on that girl in the red, the one with the skirt so short her panties are showing, and she told me to fuck off, all bitchy and shit. Damn!"
Craig: "Yeah. She's a selective slut that one. If you were tall dark and handsome with a flashy car, she'd be all over you."

2. Janie: "I was tryna to selective slut that hot guy from Automotive, all bending over, stretching, and moaning and shit in the break room, but fuckin' Eddie from plumbing kept coming in and interuppting!"
Danielle: "Shitty! But who cares what Eddie thinks. Just keep going next time."
Janie: "I don't want Eddie hitting on me! He's gross!"
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(noun) A person, usually a girlfriend, who is dirty, slutty, and sexually uninhibited, who will do anything and everything you ask her, except she'll do this only for her boyfriend/husband. She doesn't sleep around. She's a dirty little whore, but she's your dirty little whore. She's a slut that you keep in your pocket. A pocket slut is different from a regular slut who will be a dirty little whore for anyone who asks her, with no commitment required.
"Ah, man! Cheryl let me tie her up and do anal on her last night. Damn it was hot!"

"Sweet, dude! She seems so pure and innocent around everyone else, but when you get her alone she's a total nympho whore! How do you do it?"

"She's a pocket slut. I so own her."
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Similar to Bed Count. One's Head count is the number of times you've gone down on someone, performed oral sex. Many people believe that oral sex doesn't count as a full notch on your belt, so Head Count is adjusted as Fractional Sex.
Kim: "Well, add one to my head count. I just went down on David in the back seat of his car. I guess I'm up to 15 now."
Krista: "Well, that's fractional sex, so it only counts as 10, especially if you didn't swallow."
Kim: "I swallow every time."
Krista: "Okay, 12.5 then."
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From Mitch Hedberg's comedy bit about the vending machine with an HH button. He presses H twice instead of the HH button and gets the wrong snack.

Generally, an exclamation of extreme frustration.

Specifically, an exclamation of extreme frustration when you made the wrong choice based on insufficient or faulty information, usually said of something trivial like getting the wrong snack out of a vending machine.
"I was gonna get a candy bar; the button I was supposed to push was HH, so I went to the side, I found the H button, I pushed it twice. Fuckin'...potato chips came out man, 'cause they had a HH button, for Christ's sakes! You need to let me know. I'm not familiar with the concept of HH. I did not learn my AA-BB-CC's. God god dammit dammit." - Mitch Hedberg

Ah, man! I ordered the deluxe platter and it turns out it's a fuckin' veggie burger and a soy-based milkshake. God God Dammit Dammit!

She told me over the internet that she was a virgin, and I was all excited, but it turns out she's also really ugly. God God Dammit Dammit!
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Like fractional sex, fictional sex is sex you make up to boost your stats (the notches on your belt in other words). Or, it can also be sex you deny ever having, out of fear of having too high of a bed count, or out of embarrassment that the person you had it with was sketchy. Basically, if you lie about whether or not you got laid, it's fictional sex.
Bob: Dude, I nailed Cassandra last night! I'm up to 22 notches on my belt already. How many you got?
Dan: Twenty-two? Yeah right! How many of those 22 are fictional sex? Probably more than half. I'd be surprised if you even nailed ten chicks.

Andrea: I heard you left the party with Bob last night. Does that mean you're up to nine different guys now?
Casandra: Shut up! Nothing happened. We just kissed a bit and I made him take me home. And I'm not up to eight yet either! I've only done like three guys. Honest.
Andrea: Yeah... sure... three guys this month. Sounds like fictional sex to me.
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