Percy Dovetonsils III's definitions

klugle

A rank in the Ku Klux Klan between Imperial Wizard and Klaxtain.

Klugle Darryl was adept at crossburning, achieving stunning visual effects not seen since the 1936 film "Immorten der Juden" by Leni Rieffenstahl, but wasn't destined to be an Imperial Wizard because of his predilection for small boys and barnyard animals, nevertheless, he made me mighty proud to be white.

by Percy Dovetonsils III July 24, 2003

gnude

To be gored or mounted by a male gnu. (The former being preferable)

After having been gnude while on a photo safari, Professor Dovetonsils avowed that next time the Nikon was staying home and he was bringing a .460 Weatherby Magnum.

by Percy Dovetonsils III July 25, 2003

Defcon

Political pollster's term for defecation constant wherein a percentage of data used in projecting election results based on exit polls is assumed to be shit because voters say one thing to be seen as having voted for the winner but actually voted for their enlightened self-interest.

Fucking Defcon is 87.6%, Mondale is fucked.

by Percy Dovetonsils III July 30, 2003

mashed potato sandwich

An adjectival description of something as messed up as a soup sandwich.

Drill Sargeant Bohannon looked the recruit in the eye and said, "Boy, you are as fucked up as a mashed potato sandwich and will not survive first contact with the enemy unless you get with the program."

by Percy Dovetonsils III August 19, 2003

klugle

A coin issued by the autonomous Kirghiz region of Kazakstan equal in value to 2 kopeks.

While visiting lovely Alma-Ata, I bought a yak-yarn yashmak from a Yemeni Yeoman yclept Yusef for 12 klugles.

by Percy Dovetonsils III July 30, 2003

lip

A ration of shit or a verbal hard time.

Don't gimme no lip, you shitweasel.

by Percy Dovetonsils III August 2, 2003

elf abuse

Environmental Liberation Front (ELF) "vandalism" that is terrorism.

Elf abuse is perpetrated by Ecothugs.

by Percy Dovetonsils III August 4, 2003