The urinal countdown

The last ten seconds to make it to the toilet before you wet your pants.
Outta the way you lot! I’ve gotta get to the loo. I’m gonna pee my pants in about 5 seconds! I’m halfway through the urinal countdown!
by Nuphagus December 19, 2019
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Snogging the toothless clown

Cunnilingus with a woman whose pubis is unusually thick and bushy.
When we went for lunch, Cedric smiled at the waitress and he had whopping great pubes like bed springs between his teeth! I reckon he was snogging the toothless clown last night!
by Nuphagus January 05, 2020
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Have a poo
I’ve eaten too much. Where’s ya pan? I need to drop the wogs off at the mosque!
by Nuphagus January 05, 2020
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Transitvestite

A cross dresser who drives a Ford van
“This right munter turned up on site in a white van the other day. I thought she must be health and safety or something. About half hour later she started bumping out concrete blocks with hands like shovels! Then I noticed the hairy legs and size 12 steelys! The woman was a geezer! A proper transitvestite!”
by Nuphagus November 24, 2019
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Trampax

A dead rodent used as a makeshift tampon.
Olga came on halfway through the hen do. We had a rummage through the bins for something she could use. She used a dead rat in the end. Talk about trampax.
by Nuphagus January 05, 2020
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Autignorant

When somebody is so rude that you wonder if they’re autistic.
I said good morning to Clive three times this morning and even offered him a biscuit and he just grunted and took no notice. Then he got up farted and walked off. He’s autignorant!
by Nuphagus December 31, 2019
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Greynus

I took the drinks trolley along the pensioners ward and when I leaned over to give mrs Cauliflower her tea, she pumped a right musty old stinker out her greynus! That’ll teach me for calling her an “old cow”.
by Nuphagus December 07, 2019
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