That bird had a face like the elephant man’s ball bag! Mind you, she had massive bangers, long legs and dressed like a Trollope. Linda must’ve been thinking with her phantom phallus when she hit on that munter!
by Nuphagus January 4, 2020
Get the Phantom phallusmug. Crappy homemade masterbating machine I.e pneumatically operated,mechanical Lego technic hand in a rubber glove.
I looked in quentin’s window the other day. He had a Henry hoover in a blonde wig and false eye lashes giving him a nosh! He said he was going home to test out his jostlebot!
by Nuphagus January 4, 2020
Get the Jostlebotmug. 
Get the Drop the wogs off at the mosquemug. When we went for lunch, Cedric smiled at the waitress and he had whopping great pubes like bed springs between his teeth! I reckon he was snogging the toothless clown last night!
by Nuphagus January 5, 2020
Get the Snogging the toothless clownmug. I had a tortoise head! The girls were all chatting and I had bit of old tissue in my pocket, so I dived in the hedge and turned one out! It was the perfect plopportunity.
by Nuphagus February 26, 2020
Get the Plopportunitymug. Stanley thought it would be funny to cut a hole in the wooden bowl of mixed nuts and poke his bollocks through. Auntie Beryl nearly had a cardiac arrest when she pulled out a Brazil, a couple of almonds and his shaggy walnut! He did when she took the nutcracker to it!
by Nuphagus April 12, 2020
Get the Shaggy walnutmug. “Mate, I reckon those big ok’ bangers are fitted with crimson hubcaps! Look at the size of the wheel nuts!“
by Nuphagus November 14, 2019
Get the Crimson hubcapsmug.