The sensation that one's sphincter is actually aflame, usually occurring after eating bad tex-mex, taking a really nasty shit, or pulling the Steve-O Bottle Rocket stunt from JACKASS NUMBER TWO...
GUY1: Dude, why did I have to go to Chipotle on my lunch break? Now I've got to sit through this board meeting with my heinous anus! My Asshole must look like a cigarette burn on the Sunday morning comics!
by Mjolnir12982 April 18, 2010
A method of suicide where one chases a fewe oxycodones with liquor before putting his/her ass over their head (satellite dish position), bulldogging a bottle of NyQuil rectally, and masturbating furiously to achieve orgasm before brain death. So named because one'side face will have the same blank expression as Terri Schiavo before the court ordered her feeding tube removed when their body is discovered.
After JI'm lost his job, life savings, wife, kids, and house in the divorce, he decided to pull a Drowsy Schiavo and get beamed up like Anton Yelchin.
by Mjolnir12982 August 31, 2016
General terminology for the punitive practice amongst incarcerated criminals, of forcing a flavored pudding cup from a snack pack into the recipient's anus and then having one ore more prisoners sodomize the recipient.
While there are several variations of this practice in play across several prisons in the United States, what is generally accepted is that the exoticness of the snack pack flavor, number of syllables in it's name, and number of people pulling the train on the recipient, all increase in direct proportion to the severity of the offense. So if there's two to three people in line, and a vanilla/chocolate/strawberry pudding cup, it's probably a minor offense, like not sitting down to fart/piss. If the whole cell block is lined up and you hear the words "dragonberry/passionfruit-thin mint/fig newton-Gluten-free kiwi, lime, and chinchilla vegeterian..." assume someone blew up a fucking planet.
While there are several variations of this practice in play across several prisons in the United States, what is generally accepted is that the exoticness of the snack pack flavor, number of syllables in it's name, and number of people pulling the train on the recipient, all increase in direct proportion to the severity of the offense. So if there's two to three people in line, and a vanilla/chocolate/strawberry pudding cup, it's probably a minor offense, like not sitting down to fart/piss. If the whole cell block is lined up and you hear the words "dragonberry/passionfruit-thin mint/fig newton-Gluten-free kiwi, lime, and chinchilla vegeterian..." assume someone blew up a fucking planet.
Dude, Justin in D wing said they're snack-packing Nico after lights out! Not sure why, but the pudding cup is gingerbread alfalfa cucumber lime and lavender... im staying the fuck back when the ramrod rodeo kicks off!
by Mjolnir12982 April 10, 2017
Hillarrhea is an extreme former of ass hurt felt exclusively by indoctrinated liberal zombies who were disappointed when the lying, murderous, traitorous socialist power-hungry lesbian android cuntbag they mistakenly worship as the picture of strength and feminism gets beaten to the Oval Office by the orange guy from celebrity apprentice, coincidentally the only guy getting more side ass than her husband. Symptoms include calling anyone who may have a differing opinion a misogynist/homophobe/xenophobe/ islamophobe/racist/bigot/deplorable or any combination thereof, and protesting outside Trump's hotel.
The mass amount of Hillarrhea see from those who drank Hillary'so kool-aid only proves that while liberals paint conservative so as intolerant, the liberals themselves are the most intolerant people of all!
by Mjolnir12982 November 10, 2016
To properly perform the danger yank, one must pop a cialis/adderol combo, watch a Golden girls rerun at full volume, get into a wallsquat position without any pants on, and jerk it with a two-finger-overhead-away-from-the-brain quick stroke, attempting to climax before knees lock or your significant other enters the room...
If there was an awkward breakup conversation to be had before this point, you've just bypassed it... Congratulation Jism.
If there was an awkward breakup conversation to be had before this point, you've just bypassed it... Congratulation Jism.
Tommy packed his car the night before Liz caught him mid Danger Yank. She wasn't even finished dialing her mom for tearful advice before he had the Datsun in gear, driving away from her bullshit. Glorious.
by Mjolnir12982 January 15, 2017
Derived from the term Blitzkrieg, or lightning war in German, to verbally Blitzkrieg somebody is to attack them in in machine-gun repetition who is the most brutal insults you can muster at any given point in time, not pausing to take a breath, or allow your opponent a word edgewise. The name is of course derived from the strategy of shock Warfare tactics utilized by the Nazis in World War II period however no one actually dies during a verbal Blitzkrieg, but the goal is to make the other person wish they were dead.
Guy 1: (tells boring bullshit story,)
Guy 2: you know that story actually reminds me of the last time I was fucking your mother? I was one of the first guys in line so she hadn't been used up yet, anywho... I decided at that point to go ass to pussy, and I remember thinking to myself distinctly that her pussy was so fucking tight, no fucking way of baby came out of there no fucking way, you're adopted dude. Then her sibilance, would you tasted like hot dog water by the way, spattered me about the face so I reach back the fucking Florida and pimp slap that bitch in the middle of Nebraska just like the Avenue where I picked her up for the gangbang for a crack rock and hit a crystal meth in 20 bucks. And after that I told her how much I just wish that she had either swallowed you or made like you were her car keys locked inside of her Sentra and pulled you out with a coat hanger.
Guy 1: okay enough with the verbal Blitzkrieg, I'll stop telling the fucking story.
Guy 2: you know that story actually reminds me of the last time I was fucking your mother? I was one of the first guys in line so she hadn't been used up yet, anywho... I decided at that point to go ass to pussy, and I remember thinking to myself distinctly that her pussy was so fucking tight, no fucking way of baby came out of there no fucking way, you're adopted dude. Then her sibilance, would you tasted like hot dog water by the way, spattered me about the face so I reach back the fucking Florida and pimp slap that bitch in the middle of Nebraska just like the Avenue where I picked her up for the gangbang for a crack rock and hit a crystal meth in 20 bucks. And after that I told her how much I just wish that she had either swallowed you or made like you were her car keys locked inside of her Sentra and pulled you out with a coat hanger.
Guy 1: okay enough with the verbal Blitzkrieg, I'll stop telling the fucking story.
by Mjolnir12982 June 13, 2017
Based upon the introductory social practice of gripping another's phallus in an overhand fashion, and providing an unrequested and unsanitary, yet meaty, sweaty, and oddly satisfying handjob, engaged in by boy scout masters to their pledges once their parents' minivans get lost on the horizon. May also be accompanied by a frigid and unsolicited finger in the anus or a halitosis-laden and toothy rimjob. Because hey, Traps are gay, but a mouth is a mouthand 20 bucks is twenty bucks.
Look man I have a buyer lined up for the drugs! You gonna tell me where they are? Or you wanna give me the ol' Scoutmaster's Handshake all day!?!
by Mjolnir12982 October 31, 2018