When having vaginal sex in the doggy style position, the guy inserts his index finger into her asshole, removing a globule of shit. When she turs around to ask what the fuck he thinks he is doing, he attempts to paint a line from the closest side of her face down the length of her body. Extra points if he makes it to her ankle before she presses charges.
Bro 1: Dude, you and Krista are still down for that 5fdp show Friday, right?
Bro 2: Nah. I gave her the old Himalayan Pinstripe the other day, so we are done, I am broke from posting bail, and the judge said I couldn't leave the county...
Bro 2: Nah. I gave her the old Himalayan Pinstripe the other day, so we are done, I am broke from posting bail, and the judge said I couldn't leave the county...
by Mjolnir12982 June 15, 2016
The act of quickly making one's way to the toilet with one or both legs completely locked at all joints in an effort to compress the rectum/anus, and avoid dropping a mondo shit in one's pants (see chocolate shotgun, shart, or shitney spears). Most frequently occurs within 15 mins of eating a hot pocket, or Chipotle.
I told Linda that chorizo looked suspect! Now we can trace her deadleg shit shuffle by following the brown trail!
by Mjolnir12982 August 18, 2016
The sensation that one's sphincter is actually aflame, usually occurring after eating bad tex-mex, taking a really nasty shit, or pulling the Steve-O Bottle Rocket stunt from JACKASS NUMBER TWO...
GUY1: Dude, why did I have to go to Chipotle on my lunch break? Now I've got to sit through this board meeting with my heinous anus! My Asshole must look like a cigarette burn on the Sunday morning comics!
by Mjolnir12982 April 18, 2010
The act of pulling out of a woman's mouth whilst receiving head, only to accidentally poke at her eye while jisming
Dude1: Ralphie got an amazing blowjob from that chick at the party, but he fucked up py pulling out and giving her the Serbian Monocle...
by Mjolnir12982 January 25, 2010
A method of suicide where one chases a fewe oxycodones with liquor before putting his/her ass over their head (satellite dish position), bulldogging a bottle of NyQuil rectally, and masturbating furiously to achieve orgasm before brain death. So named because one'side face will have the same blank expression as Terri Schiavo before the court ordered her feeding tube removed when their body is discovered.
After JI'm lost his job, life savings, wife, kids, and house in the divorce, he decided to pull a Drowsy Schiavo and get beamed up like Anton Yelchin.
by Mjolnir12982 August 31, 2016
When you have a dream that you are a big, plump, steamy, juicy hotdog, so big and plump that the bun will not close around you. Then you realize that ketchup is sliding out the end of the bun, and then you wake up incarcerated, and your cellmate's chin is resting on your shoulder while he's fucking you up the asshole...
Hey, in prison such choices aren't always yours to make.
Hey, in prison such choices aren't always yours to make.
Jim got himself locked up and had the hotdog Dream. Now he can't shit without it looking like a Swiss cake roll.
by Mjolnir12982 September 05, 2016
This is a deviant sexual maneuver that requires two people, a chair, and a pickle at least 7 inches in length. Person A positions the chair so that the back is flat against the floor, then proceeds to sit in it and masturbate rigorously. Person B inserts the pickle into their own rectum, then squats over person A's face and urinates in their mouth comma otherwise known as the Chickpee. Then, person B remove the pickle from their own rectum and inserted into person A's asshole, while A, still masturbating furiously, does their best impression of Terri Schiavo/Christopher Reeves/ Stephen Hawking, completing the second part of the process known as pickling the vegetable. Finally, just as person A is about to climax, B violently rips the pickle from the other person's ass comma throws it directly into their face causing a broken nose, screams Allahu Akbar infidel, and leaves to go Crusade the Holy Land.
Randy - dude what the fuck happened to your nose?
Darwin - Vegeta gave me an awful falafel last night, I knew that Sandy turban-wearing cameltoe bitch was fucking dirty but I didn't know she was that dirty! I hope president Trump bombs whatever third world shitbox her and her family are from!!!
Randy - give him time
Darwin - Vegeta gave me an awful falafel last night, I knew that Sandy turban-wearing cameltoe bitch was fucking dirty but I didn't know she was that dirty! I hope president Trump bombs whatever third world shitbox her and her family are from!!!
Randy - give him time
by Mjolnir12982 April 17, 2017