19 definitions by Mjolnir12982

When having vaginal sex in the doggy style position, the guy inserts his index finger into her asshole, removing a globule of shit. When she turs around to ask what the fuck he thinks he is doing, he attempts to paint a line from the closest side of her face down the length of her body. Extra points if he makes it to her ankle before she presses charges.
Bro 1: Dude, you and Krista are still down for that 5fdp show Friday, right?

Bro 2: Nah. I gave her the old Himalayan Pinstripe the other day, so we are done, I am broke from posting bail, and the judge said I couldn't leave the county...
by Mjolnir12982 June 15, 2016
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Rigid Shit Sticks:

1) when you are deadleg shit shuffling to the toilet and feel your bowels starting to leak through your asshole, you stand a locking all joints in both legs, waiting for that Mondo dook the bubble is way backed up into your lower intestines until you get to the toilet

2) natural reaction of luberal dimocunt letfist assholes whenever they piss and moan about inconsequential bullshit like gun control, only to be rebuked by facts and logic from Trump supporters, and having no natural logical counter argument they revert to playing the race card, only realize that they played that fucking violin solo for so long it's now in the public domain!
I love watching all the letfist, luberal, dimocunt Rigid Shit Sticks that occur when they get called out on their bullshit
by Mjolnir12982 February 28, 2018
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An old Thai pastime involving at least four participants, two of whom must be male, a few spare chromosomes, and at least two viagra.

First the two males in question must buttfuck the other two participants for an equal, aforementioned period of time, without climaxing. Then, they must pull their shitdicks out and stand helmet to helmet, hands behind their backs, and swordfish the using only their hips, creating a meatsaber duel not unlike Luke vs Vader in Return of the Jedi. Neither can move their feet, or use any part of their body but their Dicks. First to quit, fall to a knee in pain, or breaks formation, loses, and must blow the victor.
If you have never witnesses a game of Chocolate-Frosted Tummy-Sticks, no example will do it justice...
by Mjolnir12982 October 19, 2016
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The act of quickly making one's way to the toilet with one or both legs completely locked at all joints in an effort to compress the rectum/anus, and avoid dropping a mondo shit in one's pants (see chocolate shotgun, shart, or shitney spears). Most frequently occurs within 15 mins of eating a hot pocket, or Chipotle.
I told Linda that chorizo looked suspect! Now we can trace her deadleg shit shuffle by following the brown trail!
by Mjolnir12982 August 18, 2016
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The act of pulling out of a woman's mouth whilst receiving head, only to accidentally poke at her eye while jisming
Dude1: Ralphie got an amazing blowjob from that chick at the party, but he fucked up py pulling out and giving her the Serbian Monocle...
by Mjolnir12982 January 25, 2010
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This is a deviant sexual maneuver that requires two people, a chair, and a pickle at least 7 inches in length. Person A positions the chair so that the back is flat against the floor, then proceeds to sit in it and masturbate rigorously. Person B inserts the pickle into their own rectum, then squats over person A's face and urinates in their mouth comma otherwise known as the Chickpee. Then, person B remove the pickle from their own rectum and inserted into person A's asshole, while A, still masturbating furiously, does their best impression of Terri Schiavo/Christopher Reeves/ Stephen Hawking, completing the second part of the process known as pickling the vegetable. Finally, just as person A is about to climax, B violently rips the pickle from the other person's ass comma throws it directly into their face causing a broken nose, screams Allahu Akbar infidel, and leaves to go Crusade the Holy Land.
Randy - dude what the fuck happened to your nose?
Darwin - Vegeta gave me an awful falafel last night, I knew that Sandy turban-wearing cameltoe bitch was fucking dirty but I didn't know she was that dirty! I hope president Trump bombs whatever third world shitbox her and her family are from!!!
Randy - give him time
by Mjolnir12982 April 17, 2017
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To properly perform the danger yank, one must pop a cialis/adderol combo, watch a Golden girls rerun at full volume, get into a wallsquat position without any pants on, and jerk it with a two-finger-overhead-away-from-the-brain quick stroke, attempting to climax before knees lock or your significant other enters the room...

If there was an awkward breakup conversation to be had before this point, you've just bypassed it... Congratulation Jism.
Tommy packed his car the night before Liz caught him mid Danger Yank. She wasn't even finished dialing her mom for tearful advice before he had the Datsun in gear, driving away from her bullshit. Glorious.
by Mjolnir12982 January 15, 2017
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