Mike Read's definitions

mockney

someone who, bizarely, wishes they were a Cockney when they aren't one. Even more annoying than a cockney wanker since the latter can't help it, but a mockney is so by choice.

That Jamie Oliver is a right mockney wanker

by Mike Read July 27, 2003

Jugs

something for keeping milk in

nice jugs there, Daisy

by mike read August 13, 2003

sock cooker

shameless little tramp who cooks her husband's socks at any available opportunity

oh yeah baby, cook my socks

by mike read August 13, 2003

tossing

either something you do to a salad, or another word for wanking. or wanking into a salad.

jamie oliver said "it's been a good night's tossing once again, guvnah."

by mike read August 7, 2003

awight

annoying catchphrase of the now disgraced cockney 'entertainer' Michael Barrymore

awight at the back!

by mike read August 13, 2003

mother in law

your wife's mother. a terrifying insight into what awaits you in 25 years time.

the wife's mother came around yesterday. I knew it was her as soon as she knocked on the door: all the mice threw themselvess onto the traps.

by mike read August 13, 2003

President Reagan

recommended for deletion

I cannot recall

by mike read July 31, 2003