Bagel Boss Manlet

Representing the pint-sized personification of manlet rage and standing shockingly small at 5 foot nothing, Chris "Bagel Boss" Morgan rose to short-lived infamy when he threw a hissy fit extraordinaire at a Long Island Bagel Boss in 2019. After falsely claiming that the friendly female cashier had smirked at his comically dwarfed height, Chris "Sissy Manlet" Morgan was recorded by amused onlookers as he was instantly overwhelmed by manlet rage and went on a childish tirade, furiously ranting about how women (understandably) hate him due to his sensationally stunted stature and egregiously evident Napoleon complex. Subsequently to being asked by a much taller customer to calm down and grow up, the rageaholic turbo-manlet petulantly proclaimed: "Shut your mouth! You're not God, or my father, or my boss!" - only to then transform into a tiny, little hamster when a heroic manmore made short work of the midget monstrosity and tackled him. Helpful height enthusiasts later found his now defunct YouTube channel featuring many similar videos which triggered an escalating series of well-deserved trolling sagas, eventually culminating in the Bagel Boss Manlet being cut down to size (more so than he naturally was) and thereby stopped short of realizing his delusional dream of following in the microscopic footsteps of ill-famed celebrity turbo-manlets such as Tiny Tom Cruise and Kevin "Homunculus" Hart by becoming just another high heels wearing comic relief Hollywood Oompa Loompa manlet.
Materialistic manlet: WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY HIGH HEELS?! Manmore: Cease your manletspeak and don't go Bagel Boss Manlet on me. Here, bounce around on this stress ball and dry your tiny tears with this tampon, you silly, little manlet boy.
by ManletDepreciator September 18, 2024
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manlet uprising

The top secret manlet (stunted sissy boys shorter than 5ft10) plan to somehow sneakily overthrow the rightfully ruling magnificent manmores (6ft+ tall real men) and average height (5ft10/11) men who naturally terrify them and to then finally live in a fictional manlet paradise where high heels are free and height actually doesn't matter (because everybody is a devastatingly dwarfed and girlishly gnomish manlet queen). Here the microscopically minuscule midget manlet monstrosities would of course live completely segregated from all womenfolk because even when there isn't a single manmore left on earth, obviously no women is going to consent to committing social suicide by dating a preposterously petite and scandalously stunted, puny little manlet princess. And so the inherently effeminate manlet fairies are then forced to replicate by means of mitosis, a fact that amusingly doesn't prevent them from perpetrating aggressive mating attempts upon one another and collectively engaging in mortifyingly futile manlet mating rituals in front of basketball arenas and microbiology labs. Manlets, when will they learn?
Manmore 1: Do you think that the Bagel Boss Manlet would be the ladylike leader of a short-lived and subsequently subjugated manlet uprising or would the dubious honor got to Todd "Turbo-manlet" Howard? Manmore 2: Tiny Todd "Stacked Heels" Howard, for sure! Manmore 1: Todd "High Heeled Homunculus" Howard it is then. Manmore 2: Manlets rise up!
by ManletDepreciator October 11, 2024
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Manlet rage

Standing in stark contrast to the manlet's stunted, diminutive and girlish stature, manlet rage involves gigantic amounts of hatred, self-loathing, bitterness and desperation. Due to the horrendous mortification of manletism, the petite and effeminate manlet is extremely short-tempered, small-minded and eternally unable to be the bigger man. This deeply insecure and shameful behavior leads to countless interpersonal conflicts in the microscopic manlet's tortured existence which often result in manlet rage.
Why is that little boy throwing a tantrum in front of the escalator over there? Manlet detected. I think one of his high heels just broke. Lol, manlet rage - how immature! That silly manlet clearly needs to grow up before he speaks up.
by ManletDepreciator August 09, 2024
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medieval manlet

The medieval manlet (a dwarfed male shorter than 5ft10, who suffers from the devastating disability of manletism) is a microscopically minuscule midget manlet who has been driven to madness by manletism and now exceedingly enjoys engaging in mortifying public live-action fantasy role-playing games with other deranged medieval manlets by first wrapping each other up in a tiny tinfoil armor and then charging towards one another atop of hamsters while wielding improvised toothpick lances in a decidedly diminutive mockery of a medieval jousting tournament, until one of the malignant manlet knights is struck and catapulted into the adjacent manlet pit, where he is then stoned to death with confiscated high heels by the laughing and jeering manmores in the bewildered crowd of towering onlookers. The triumphant little manlet princess is then declared queen for a day and is allowed to pick a pair of high heels out of the manlet pit to wear to his victory pizza dinner later at Chuck E. Cheese before then being introduced to his new role as a medieval manlet mantlet, which is a portable pint-sized, literally subhuman wall or shield used for absorbing projectiles in medieval warfare. He can also be mounted on a wheeled carriage by use of a fifteen-inch rectally inserted suction cup dildo to then partially protect one grown-up soldier.
Janet: Hey, why is my pet hamster coughing up tiny pieces of tinfoil again? Evelyn: No worries, he probably just ate another medieval manlet. That nanoscopic peewee runt of a pipsqueak manlet won't do your much larger hamster any harm.
by ManletDepreciator September 30, 2024
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Manmore

A manmore (a 6ft+ tall man) is a godlike, preeminent, honored, imposing and formidable man, a real man who majestically towers over all average height men (5ft10/11) and especially over all manlets (5ft9 and below sissy boys). Universally beloved and the object of unimaginably intense sexual obsession for all women, the magnificent manmore swiftly rises to the top in all areas of life, always stands tall and proud and lives life to the fullest as he basks in the endless adulation and adoration of not only his peers but of the universality of mankind. In short, the manmore's lofty and exaltedly blissful life rightfully and unsurprisingly represents the polar opposite of the lamentably lowly existence endured by the shockingly stunted sissy manlet. Driven to madness by manletism, burning jealousy and impotent manlet rage, the petite and effeminate runt of an Ewok sissy manlet boy can do nothing but seethingly stand small in awe of his superlatively superior supreme manmore overlord.
Inferior manlet boy: Oompa Loompa doo-pa-dee do / I'm so short, what am I to do? Oompa Loompa doo-pa-dah dee / Won't you please donate some high heels to me? Masculine manmore: Manlet detected. You're in manmore territory, you silly little boy! Now cease your manletspeak and dance a merry jig for me and I'll let you keep your hot pants and your lunch money today. Chop chop!
by ManletDepreciator August 29, 2024
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Manlet Monday

A time when a bunch of minuscule manlets get together to whine about having spent another torturous weekend alone as always and to mentally prepare themselves for an undoubtedly horrific week of constant humiliation and well-deserved bullying due to their laughably obvious manletism and abominable Napoleon complex. The stunted and diminutive manlet boys usually dance around wearing Oompa Loompa costumes while listening to Short People, thusly worshipping their idol Randy Newman in a futile and desperate bid to be finally blessed with an invaluable and long-awaited growth spurt.
Lol, why are those sissy manlets dressed up as Oompa Loompas holding hands over there? It must be Manlet Monday. Those midget monstrosities are probably waddling to the nearest hobbit-hole. Good. I don't want no short people around here.
by ManletDepreciator August 14, 2024
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meddling manlet

A quarrelsome and small-minded manlet who is prone to ineffectively inserting himself into grown-up issues and conversations in a futile attempt at feeling like a big boy for once in his dwarfish life and despite the fact that grown-up subject matter goes right over his pea-brained, little head. 1978, Maryland State Delegate and absolute manlet Isaiah Dixon who hilariously tried to legislatively ban the playing of Randy Newman's musical masterpiece Short People on the radio is a good example of this phenomenon, as well as disgraced video game producer and miserable manlet boy Tiny Todd Howard who, because of his effeminate petiteness and overpowering Napoleon complex, has childishly ruined many video games with his transparent and preposterous tall tales.
Lol, why is that squealing manlet stuck headfirst in that trashcan over there? The meddling manlet tried to stop a group of children from riding that roller coaster because he was denied entrance due to his girlish height, so the kids threw him in the trash where he belongs. The trashcan must be like an aircraft hangar to that microscopic manlet boy. Hahahahaha!
by ManletDepreciator August 14, 2024
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