ManletDepreciator's definitions

manlet mating ritual

The disgraceful yet amusing manlet mating ritual occurs when a gaggle of diminutive and desperate manlets meet up in a public place, mostly in front of basketball arenas, strip down to bikinis and high heels, oil each other up and then awkwardly gyrate to Skee-Lo's "I Wish" as they sing along in their high-pitched manletspeak, all the while internally cursing and swearing at the heavens for dooming them to a comical and dwarflike existence constantly marred by the ravages of the merited mortification universally known as manletism.

Hey, why are those cheerleaders dancing around in front of the arena over there - isn't the halftime performance usually enacted inside? Oh, it's just a manlet mating ritual - the silly manlets do it every month. Have the microscopic manlet boys ever attracted any women? Lol, of course not! Short people got no reason. Hahahahaha!

by ManletDepreciator August 22, 2024

Manlet Monday

A time when a bunch of minuscule manlets get together to whine about having spent another torturous weekend alone as always and to mentally prepare themselves for an undoubtedly horrific week of constant humiliation and well-deserved bullying due to their laughably obvious manletism and abominable Napoleon complex. The stunted and diminutive manlet boys usually dance around wearing Oompa Loompa costumes while listening to Short People, thusly worshipping their idol Randy Newman in a futile and desperate bid to be finally blessed with an invaluable and long-awaited growth spurt.

Lol, why are those sissy manlets dressed up as Oompa Loompas holding hands over there? It must be Manlet Monday. Those midget monstrosities are probably waddling to the nearest hobbit-hole. Good. I don't want no short people around here.

by ManletDepreciator August 14, 2024

meddling manlet

A quarrelsome and small-minded manlet who is prone to ineffectively inserting himself into grown-up issues and conversations in a futile attempt at feeling like a big boy for once in his dwarfish life and despite the fact that grown-up subject matter goes right over his pea-brained, little head. 1978, Maryland State Delegate and absolute manlet Isaiah Dixon who hilariously tried to legislatively ban the playing of Randy Newman's musical masterpiece Short People on the radio is a good example of this phenomenon, as well as disgraced video game producer and miserable manlet boy Tiny Todd Howard who, because of his effeminate petiteness and overpowering Napoleon complex, has childishly ruined many video games with his transparent and preposterous tall tales.

Lol, why is that squealing manlet stuck headfirst in that trashcan over there? The meddling manlet tried to stop a group of children from riding that roller coaster because he was denied entrance due to his girlish height, so the kids threw him in the trash where he belongs. The trashcan must be like an aircraft hangar to that microscopic manlet boy. Hahahahaha!

by ManletDepreciator August 14, 2024

medieval manlet

The medieval manlet (a dwarfed male shorter than 5ft10, who suffers from the devastating disability of manletism) is a microscopically minuscule midget manlet who has been driven to madness by manletism and now exceedingly enjoys engaging in mortifying public live-action fantasy role-playing games with other deranged medieval manlets by first wrapping each other up in a tiny tinfoil armor and then charging towards one another atop of hamsters while wielding improvised toothpick lances in a decidedly diminutive mockery of a medieval jousting tournament, until one of the malignant manlet knights is struck and catapulted into the adjacent manlet pit, where he is then stoned to death with confiscated high heels by the laughing and jeering manmores in the bewildered crowd of towering onlookers. The triumphant little manlet princess is then declared queen for a day and is allowed to pick a pair of high heels out of the manlet pit to wear to his victory pizza dinner later at Chuck E. Cheese before then being introduced to his new role as a medieval manlet mantlet, which is a portable pint-sized, literally subhuman wall or shield used for absorbing projectiles in medieval warfare. He can also be mounted on a wheeled carriage by use of a fifteen-inch rectally inserted suction cup dildo to then partially protect one grown-up soldier.

Janet: Hey, why is my pet hamster coughing up tiny pieces of tinfoil again? Evelyn: No worries, he probably just ate another medieval manlet. That nanoscopic peewee runt of a pipsqueak manlet won't do your much larger hamster any harm.

by ManletDepreciator September 30, 2024

Manmore

A manmore (a 6ft+ tall man) is a godlike, preeminent, honored, imposing and formidable man, a real man who majestically towers over all average height men (5ft10/11) and especially over all manlets (5ft9 and below sissy boys). Universally beloved and the object of unimaginably intense sexual obsession for all women, the magnificent manmore swiftly rises to the top in all areas of life, always stands tall and proud and lives life to the fullest as he basks in the endless adulation and adoration of not only his peers but of the universality of mankind. In short, the manmore's lofty and exaltedly blissful life rightfully and unsurprisingly represents the polar opposite of the lamentably lowly existence endured by the shockingly stunted sissy manlet. Driven to madness by manletism, burning jealousy and impotent manlet rage, the petite and effeminate runt of an Ewok sissy manlet boy can do nothing but seethingly stand small in awe of his superlatively superior supreme manmore overlord.

Inferior manlet boy: Oompa Loompa doo-pa-dee do / I'm so short, what am I to do? Oompa Loompa doo-pa-dah dee / Won't you please donate some high heels to me? Masculine manmore: Manlet detected. You're in manmore territory, you silly little boy! Now cease your manletspeak and dance a merry jig for me and I'll let you keep your hot pants and your lunch money today. Chop chop!

by ManletDepreciator August 29, 2024

Bob Marley

Despite his squeaky-clean image as one of the pioneers of reggae music and flying in the face of what Little Itty-Bitty Bob Midget Boy Marley's severely stunted manlet fanboys would like you to believe, Bob "Manlet Mathematics" Marley was a dwarfed, 5ft6 small, Old Toby pipe-weed smoking Ewok hobbit and, according to credible allegations made by his sadistically victimized wife Rita Marley, a wife-beating violent sexual deviant and therefore just another typical small man syndrome-infected microscopic manlet midget monstrosity. Known for constantly cheating on his long-suffering wifelet and even stooping so low as to impregnate and then promptly leave eight innocent women alone to raise his illegitimate offspring in grinding poverty while Bob "Sissy Manlet" Marley rubbed tiny shoulders with the brutally overcompensating and grotesquely gnomish, platform shoes wearing Gabonese dictator and absolute midget turbo-manlet Omar "Standing Blowjob" Bongo - the devastatingly diminutive, peculiarly petite and inherently effeminate myopic manlet pipsqueak fairy Robert Nesta "Straight Outta The Shire" Marley was certainly not someone to look up to. Because he was way too short for that. Manlets BTFO.

Manmore 1: Manlet detected. Isn't that Bob Marley standing around in that front yard over there? Manmore 2: You are mistaken. Here, take my magnifying glass. It's just a moss-covered garden gnome. Manmore 1: Oh, you're right! My apologies. Manmore 2: No problem, easy mistake to make!

by ManletDepreciator September 29, 2024

misanthropic manlet

The perpetually petulant, paranoid and pessimistic petite misanthropic manlet is an isolated loner manlet who childishly shuns the company of grown-ups and instead prefers to focus his girlishly giddy energy on pursuing his numerous hobbies, including but not limited to: alcoholism, compulsively measuring his immutably dwarfed height every five minutes, e-shopping for children's clothes and high heels, daydreaming about getting pegged by a seven-foot tall dominatrix while he sings Short People in his high-pitched and squeaky-voiced manletspeak, performing delusional height increasing stretching exercises while listening to Skee-Lo's "I wish" and wearing nothing but high heels and a training bra, venting his manlet rage by ranting about how all women (righteously) reject and laugh at him at his local Bagel Boss and putting the finishing touches on his manlet manifesto before shooting up his favorite Barbie Dreamhouse due to the Barbie doll he was crushing on calling him an inherently effeminate, microscopically infinitesimal stunted beastling of a sissy manlet boy when she caught him in the Dreamhouse manlet pit as the deranged low IQ manlet was stupidly attempting to give the, by comparison towering, Ken doll a standing blowjob.

Emma: Lol, why is that misanthropic manlet furiously dry humping that garden gnome over there? Allison: It's because manlets can't be choosers. Emma: Short people got nobody. Allison: Hahahahaha!

by ManletDepreciator September 11, 2024