Krakky McKraken's definitions
by Krakky McKraken August 20, 2006
Get the skwatmug. Sub-species of wigger, a white kid from a middle-class suburban family who acts like he hails from the Hood. A Funky Phantom is usually too busy recovering from rollin' with his homies (hence the "funky") to bother coming into work, thus causing problems even though he's usually invisible (hence the "phantom"). Is out of work two days a week and takes half-days the other three. Is all "Yo, keepin' it real" and thinks he's the ultimate babe magnet; whenever he talks to a woman his voice drops to a deep whisper and he practically climbs on them in his efforts to seduce them. Claims he likes people who are brutally honest but basically lives one gigantic lie, fo' shizzle.
A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A FUNKY PHANTOM
Funky: Yo, Allison, how's 'bout you and I go 'cross the street to the store and you can shizzle my dizzle bizzle?
Allison: Um, sure, sounds like fun, whatever it means!
Funky: Ya ya, I'm gonna be "keepin' it real" with my ho here for a while, G. You holds down the fort while I do my thang.
Me: Cut the crap, "homey." You ain't a playa, and the only crime you ever committed was stealing an extra Oreo outta the cookie jar when you were ten. AND you've already taken ten "breaks" today.
Funky: Yo, G! Why you gotta be hatin', Dawg? {dropping the act} Uh, my stomach hurts...I gotta go home...see ya tomorrow...
Funky: Yo, Allison, how's 'bout you and I go 'cross the street to the store and you can shizzle my dizzle bizzle?
Allison: Um, sure, sounds like fun, whatever it means!
Funky: Ya ya, I'm gonna be "keepin' it real" with my ho here for a while, G. You holds down the fort while I do my thang.
Me: Cut the crap, "homey." You ain't a playa, and the only crime you ever committed was stealing an extra Oreo outta the cookie jar when you were ten. AND you've already taken ten "breaks" today.
Funky: Yo, G! Why you gotta be hatin', Dawg? {dropping the act} Uh, my stomach hurts...I gotta go home...see ya tomorrow...
by Krakky McKraken August 4, 2007
Get the Funky Phantommug. A name for a hillbilly, particularly ones from mountain country. Examples include Clem, Bocephus, and Zeke. Female Appalachian Appellations include Daisy & Ellie Mae. Of course, hillbillies do not use the term themselves, since they can't pronounce the word APPELLATION.
"Hi, I'm Bocephus Billy-Bob Burgundy."
"What kind of name of Bocephus?"
"Why, that thar's a Appalachian Appellation."
"What kind of name of Bocephus?"
"Why, that thar's a Appalachian Appellation."
by Krakky McKraken August 6, 2006
Get the Appalachian Appellationmug. Busybody who always needs to ask where one's lunch has come from, even if it's obvious. Every ingredient must be accounted for.
Zeke: How come you didn't have lunch with us today, Clyde?
Clyde: I got caught by the phantom gourmet. Of course she had to ask me if I'd gotten my burger at Wendy's. I said, "What gave it away? The bag that says 'Wendy's' on it?"
Clyde: I got caught by the phantom gourmet. Of course she had to ask me if I'd gotten my burger at Wendy's. I said, "What gave it away? The bag that says 'Wendy's' on it?"
by Krakky McKraken November 11, 2008
Get the phantom gourmetmug. by Krakky McKraken July 21, 2006
Get the Munchomug. Fat creature which is ordinarily tame but occasionally bursts into psychotic rages for no apparent reason.
Clyde: What the hell happened to you?!
Zeke: Good god, all I said was I didn't like eating at that new restaurant and she turned into a friggin' psychopotamus!
Zeke: Good god, all I said was I didn't like eating at that new restaurant and she turned into a friggin' psychopotamus!
by Krakky McKraken November 12, 2006
Get the psychopotamusmug. Short for synapse lapse. In a phone call or voice-mail from the Ding, the lapse in time between "Hello" and the point at which the actual message begins. A synlapse is signalled by a drawn-out um.
The length of a synlapse depends on the complexity of the message, which determines how long it will take the Ding's electron-size brain to fit the information together coherently enough to convey it.
The average length of a synlapse is 45 seconds, during which boredom-induced drooling may commence in the unfortunate recipient of the voice-mail.
The length of a synlapse depends on the complexity of the message, which determines how long it will take the Ding's electron-size brain to fit the information together coherently enough to convey it.
The average length of a synlapse is 45 seconds, during which boredom-induced drooling may commence in the unfortunate recipient of the voice-mail.
The message the Ding left for Zeke lasted two and a half minutes, two minutes of which consisted of a particularly mind-numbing synlapse.
by Krakky McKraken November 11, 2008
Get the synlapsemug.