purplepotamus

The most feared of all office animals. Usually dresses in purple and has purple hair and purple hide. Its official name is Purplepotamus Dottiensis. Its roar can be heard for miles. It is notorious for being lazy. It has a terrible temper and it is dangerous to approach it. Also known as FAPLAW, or "Fat-Ass-Psychotic-Lazy-Ass-Windbag." Looks like a cross between Mimi from The Drew Carey Show and a rhinoceros.
The Purplepotamus spends most of its free time whining and shopping online.
by Krakky McKraken July 21, 2006
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Purple Inchworm

The shrivelled, atrophied penis of a sick twisted disturbed fuck. All that comes out is a tiny drop of a congealed yellow liquid, created from years of disuse.
Zeke: Why did Lenny just run into his office and close the door?

Clyde: Did he have his mail with him?

Zeke: Yeah.

Clyde: Ah, then it must be time to whip out the ol' purple inchworm for a grueling hour of futile jackin' off.
by Krakky McKraken August 04, 2007
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skwat

A portmanteau (compound word) connoting a "Skape twat."
Holy Christ, the skwat's really reekin' today. Must be usin' that mint Ben-Gay as perfume again.
by Krakky McKraken August 20, 2006
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Peepseclette

A bicycle made from marshmallows, popular in France.
Ride my peepseclette, my marshmallow bike.
by Krakky McKraken October 02, 2005
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smackdacky

An edible piece of drywall that comes complete with a spackle spread, packaged like a Cheese & Crackers.
"Hey Cletus, pass some of that there Smackdacky over here."
by Krakky McKraken December 16, 2004
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Little Caesar

Pompous busybody who stands up during meetings to publicly embarrass themselves by giving passionate but utterly false and/or idiotic speeches. They're also very bossy and always have opinions about subjects they know nothing about.
Clem: Elaine turned into Little Caesar this morning and started ranting about the change in the dress code policy, so the others all started throwing half-eaten bagels at her.
by Krakky McKraken November 12, 2006
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scump

1. (verb) The act of stumbling over an invisible bump in the floor.

2. (noun) The sound one makes when skumping. Usually sounds like a simian grunt.

3. (proper verb) A highly exaggerated form of stumbling performed by a Scape (or Skape). *Perform* is the operative word here. An ordinary scump is more than a regular trip or bump anyway. When done by a Scape, Scumping (note the capitalization) involves wild gestures, blood-curdling shrieks of terror and pain. It is always followed by imaginary injuries and paranoid accusations.

While a normal scump could be the result of tripping over a previously-unseen bump, a Scump is always done for attention and never involves any physical contact, except whatever the Scape ends up falling into (a barrel, a shelf, a table, etc). A Scump has no discernible cause, though the Scape usually tries to blame them on a roadblock of some sort which was purposely left in its way. If ignored, a Scump will be forgotten, though it might resurface in future tales.

Usual suspect causes of a Scump include tables, barrels on the other side of the room, cracks in the floor, and errant dust particles.
1. "Hey, Zeke, what happened?"

"I was headed to the conference room, and suddenly I tripped on a scump."

2. (Walking across the hall)

"Hey, Clem! How're you - ooffff! Scump!"

3. "Someone must have put that table in my way on purpose, because I never saw it before and I fell and..."

"Oh, great. The Scape just Scumped again."
by Krakky McKraken September 03, 2006
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