Definitions by Krakky McKraken
Granola
1. If you run out you can go get some in your Toyota Corolla.
2. Be careful not to get any on your feather boa.
3. You can eat some while while climbing to the top of Krakatoa.
4. Do you remember from the 80's the Ayatollah Assahola?
2. Be careful not to get any on your feather boa.
3. You can eat some while while climbing to the top of Krakatoa.
4. Do you remember from the 80's the Ayatollah Assahola?
Granola by Krakky McKraken December 8, 2007
FAPLAW
Also, "F.A.P.L.A.W."
Abbreviation: "Fat Ass Psychotic Lazy Ass Windbag."
Short-hand title for the Purplepotamus.
Abbreviation: "Fat Ass Psychotic Lazy Ass Windbag."
Short-hand title for the Purplepotamus.
Purplepotamus: O my gawd! You can't send this letter out like this! I'll get in trouble!
Zeke: This has nothing to do with you!
Purplepotamus: Yes it does!
Zeke: Then if you don't like it, why don't you, oh, I dunno, do your own work?
Purplepotamus: Becawwwwwwse Joel won't let me leave my desk!
(She storms off.)
Zeke: Motherfucking FAPLAW!!!
Zeke: This has nothing to do with you!
Purplepotamus: Yes it does!
Zeke: Then if you don't like it, why don't you, oh, I dunno, do your own work?
Purplepotamus: Becawwwwwwse Joel won't let me leave my desk!
(She storms off.)
Zeke: Motherfucking FAPLAW!!!
FAPLAW by Krakky McKraken October 22, 2007
Cuntelupagus
A big fat cunt who can't keep her big snout out of other peoples' business. A distant, more enormous cousin of an Aardvark. (Rhymes with the Sesame Street character Snuffleupagus.)
We never feared running out of supplies, since every Monday morning, before doing any work, the Cuntelupagus sent a delightfully "cheery" e-mail to us letting us know what we had to buy.
Cuntelupagus by Krakky McKraken August 5, 2007
Purple Inchworm
The shrivelled, atrophied penis of a sick twisted disturbed fuck. All that comes out is a tiny drop of a congealed yellow liquid, created from years of disuse.
Zeke: Why did Lenny just run into his office and close the door?
Clyde: Did he have his mail with him?
Zeke: Yeah.
Clyde: Ah, then it must be time to whip out the ol' purple inchworm for a grueling hour of futile jackin' off.
Clyde: Did he have his mail with him?
Zeke: Yeah.
Clyde: Ah, then it must be time to whip out the ol' purple inchworm for a grueling hour of futile jackin' off.
Purple Inchworm by Krakky McKraken August 4, 2007
Funky Phantom
Sub-species of wigger, a white kid from a middle-class suburban family who acts like he hails from the Hood. A Funky Phantom is usually too busy recovering from rollin' with his homies (hence the "funky") to bother coming into work, thus causing problems even though he's usually invisible (hence the "phantom"). Is out of work two days a week and takes half-days the other three. Is all "Yo, keepin' it real" and thinks he's the ultimate babe magnet; whenever he talks to a woman his voice drops to a deep whisper and he practically climbs on them in his efforts to seduce them. Claims he likes people who are brutally honest but basically lives one gigantic lie, fo' shizzle.
A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A FUNKY PHANTOM
Funky: Yo, Allison, how's 'bout you and I go 'cross the street to the store and you can shizzle my dizzle bizzle?
Allison: Um, sure, sounds like fun, whatever it means!
Funky: Ya ya, I'm gonna be "keepin' it real" with my ho here for a while, G. You holds down the fort while I do my thang.
Me: Cut the crap, "homey." You ain't a playa, and the only crime you ever committed was stealing an extra Oreo outta the cookie jar when you were ten. AND you've already taken ten "breaks" today.
Funky: Yo, G! Why you gotta be hatin', Dawg? {dropping the act} Uh, my stomach hurts...I gotta go home...see ya tomorrow...
Funky: Yo, Allison, how's 'bout you and I go 'cross the street to the store and you can shizzle my dizzle bizzle?
Allison: Um, sure, sounds like fun, whatever it means!
Funky: Ya ya, I'm gonna be "keepin' it real" with my ho here for a while, G. You holds down the fort while I do my thang.
Me: Cut the crap, "homey." You ain't a playa, and the only crime you ever committed was stealing an extra Oreo outta the cookie jar when you were ten. AND you've already taken ten "breaks" today.
Funky: Yo, G! Why you gotta be hatin', Dawg? {dropping the act} Uh, my stomach hurts...I gotta go home...see ya tomorrow...
Funky Phantom by Krakky McKraken August 4, 2007
Hallway Heisman
A maneuver usually performed by, but not limited to, a Skape, when traveling down a hallway with other people. Similar in posture to the famous Heisman Trophy, with the exception that instead of clutching a football to the stomach area, the individual performing the Hallway Heisman will grasp the small of their back, in a hunched over position. The Hallway Heisman is mainly used to ward off approaching people, so as not to be bumped into due to a "back injury".
As soon as the Skape saw the Human Resources person coming, she suddenly stopped running and assumed a Hallway Heisman position.
Hallway Heisman by Krakky McKraken November 15, 2006
manceptionist
Zeke: The new receptionist's voice is kinda husky, don't you think?
Clem: That's because we've hired a manceptionist.
Clem: That's because we've hired a manceptionist.
manceptionist by Krakky McKraken November 12, 2006