Definitions by Kerb

vogon poetry 

1. Poetry recited by a Vogon or by several Vogons, and is the third worst Poetry in the galaxy.

2. Any poetry recited in a slow repetitive lilt that goes on for eternity, and makes one want to yell at the poet, "Shut up!!!", scream, and punch him in the gob.

Ralph recited some poetry at the Arts Festival, and he went on and on and on, in a slow drawn-out lilt. After 15 minutes the audience got so fed up, shouted "Vogon Poetry!" and pelted him with rotten vegetables and used condoms.

vogon poetry by Kerb November 29, 2004

Murphy's Law 

The secret of the universe: The Universe is intrinsically dystopic.

During a workshop on "Murphy's Law", the shit hit the fan.

Murphy's Law by Kerb November 29, 2004

clothing optional 

Words on a sign at boundary of naturist beach, beyond which it becomes a criminal offence to wander about buck naked.

Billy eventually got the courage to remove his trunks at the clothing optional beach.

clothing optional by Kerb November 29, 2004

television 

1. Opiate for the masses since the 1950's. Therby rendering them unfit both physically and mentally for any form of revolution. Rolling over on the sofa does not count as a revolution.

2. Very effective brainwashing machine.

Please repeat after me:
"I believe in television.
I believe that the TV news are true.
I believe that soap operas are true."

television by Kerb November 29, 2004

spin 

A dance, usu. in a disco where one turns his or her body round at high speed. Harder than it looks, but possible with practice and wearing smooth soled shoes on a wooden dance floor.

If you stumble or go off balance you tumble off at an angle bumping into other dancers = uber + uncool

If you can rotate smoothly three times, and come to a graceful stop at the same spot = cool + sometimes pull

John could not spin and can only freak at the disco, whereas Jerry could spin and pull lots of chicks.

spin by Kerb November 29, 2004

SP2 

Also known as Murphy's Law

If SP2 can go wrong, it will.

SP2 by Kerb November 29, 2004

beer festival 

1. A festival where the promoted theme (eg. a popular brand of beer, folk singing, medieval banquet, striptease, Octoberfest) is blatantly ignored, and large quantities of beer is drunk. And people roll about rat arsed, pissed as a newt, lit up like a christmas tree, and display a range of loud and disorderly behaviour.

I went to the (insert your favourite beer) Beer Fastival and had a great time!

beer festival by Kerb November 29, 2004